Subject: Very belated response
Author:
Posted on: 2016-12-18 16:49:00 UTC
I finally found the time to read this, and it’s good to see the repercussions of Agent Desdendelle’s cyberisation. I’m glad you didn’t continue sitting on this.
The usual nitpicks:
Don’t go trying to do to much at once.
This should be "too".
Des continued to sob; only after some time passed did he raise his arms and return the hug.
I think this should be "time had passed" (past perfect).
And to get into this, I reread "Grey Area" and noticed a missing word ("of") there:
That is why their console blared to life during the most critical part the operation.
I liked the mailman joke, and how you integrated the fire lizards into the story.
HG