I'm late, as usual, but please accept this Replica Holocron and a Haunted Library card as newbie gifts. I don't know what you'd be checking out of a Haunted Library, but it's always good to have a card, right?

Hope you have fun here, and I look forward to seeing you around!

Have a Weighted Companion Cube! This Weighted Companion Cube will accompany you through the PPC. Please take care of it.
Also, my usual question, what are your pronouns?

Here's a bookmark and a tiny hot chocolate mug! The mug comes with its own stirring spoon :)

And WOW, you're almost twice as old as me! Man, life sure is full of surprises sometimes. xD

Anyway, have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes! :D

Please accept this finely-crafted starter Pokémon:-

Iiiiiiit's Golduck!

And your starting item is:-

Chakram Barrage from Ascendant!

Chakram Barrage is a bit of a weird item. It allows you to deal extra damage at the end of every turn via a multi-hit attack - it's Steel-type, Special damage category, and the base power of each hit is 18. Now, you tend to see this on Skill Link or Technician users to boost the damage output of the skill, but it can definitely work on Golduck. The standard special set applies here: grab a Modest one with Swift Swim and give it EVs in Special Attack and Speed, then kit it out with Rain Dance, Hydro Pump, Ice Beam, and Psyshock. The extra damage from it can be very beneficial; however, it comes at the cost of a more conventional damage-boosting item like Life Orb. Still, the important thing is always to have fun. =]

Please have a pot of black-hole coffee.

Weell, I got a last question to ask before welcoming you to the madhouse: Did you read any spinoff already, and if yes, wh
ich was your favorite?

Haha! Just kidding!
There's no blood here! There are no baths, either!
There are only smiles, and happiness!
And a constant, all-pervading, horrendous stench, because, as I've established: no baths. We all smell horrible.

Now, see, I've read Das Sporking. They're a bunch of legends.
What I haven't read is Literary Travesty or Skepkitty. So, cheers for the introduction!
Unless I hate them. In which case: um. Er, thanks for the introduction.
But I'm sure I'll like 'em!

My gift upon you, as is tradition, in these parts: a noseplug!
For that absolutely wretched stench. Quick, put it in, fast! Before your nose hairs begin to melt out!

Welcome to our corner of the interwebs, have a Bootstrap Paradox Pocket (If you could get that to past!me it would be greatly appreciated).

So you frequented the Library of the Damned? Herr Wozzeck got his start over here.

Might I ask your fandoms?

(Oh, and don't worry about your age, one HG has you beat. )

Hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti!

If you haven't yet read them, may I point you towards the Original Series and the Constitution? They're pretty much the only required reading around these parts.

And ooh, another fan of Cake Wrecks! The carrot jockeys were one of my favorites.

Glad to see you've decided to drop by and say hi! :D