Video plays: "I'll tell you, we've got some bad Daleks out here. They're killers, they're exterminators, and some, I assume, are good people."

[Audience laughs a bit]

Reader: "No! None of them are good people! They're Daleks! They're literally made to be soulless, evil killing machines! Their idea of a good time is going out to an innocent planet and exterminating the inhabitants! 'Hello! Would you like a cup of tea?' No! I'm a Dalek! Ex-ter-minate!" /mimics a Dalek shooting/

[Audience laughs]

Reader: /more calmly/ "Of course, we have seen a few instances of slightly less murderous Daleks--our very own HQ Daleks have the Human Factor, and they're at least not prone to killing agents." [Pictures of Charlie and Omicron appear on the screen] "And there've been a very, very tiny handful of okay ones that the Doctor's run into, but since a, they were all altered in some way from being pure Dalek, and b, Oswin is the main one that springs to mind..." [chuckles from the audience] "...well, let's just say that it's safe to assume--we can all agree--that almost every Dalek, apart from a few exceptional cases, probably wants to kill you."

[Probable applause from the audience]

Reader: "And as for Rassilon...Well, let's hear that bit again, shall we?"

Video plays: "Terrific leader. Fought the Daleks."

Reader: "Well. Let's unpack that a bit, shall we?"

[Long-ish explanation of how great a leader Rassilon mostly wasn't follows, culminating in:]

Reader: "...But he did fight the Daleks, though. I'll give him that. I'll give him that!"

[Audience applauds]

Reader: "...EXCEPT of course that he actually didn't do any of the fighting himself..." [Audience laughs] "Or win the Time War..." [More laughter] "In fact, what was he doing for a lot of it? Oh, that's right." /raises imaginary staff and mimics Rassilon's voice. Right or wrong, her version is slow, pompous, and deeper-voiced/ "On this day... Gallifrey...rrrrrises! Yes! Gallifrey rises! Yes! Yes! Thank you all for agreeing to my insanely stupid plan! Yes! Yes! Let's rise like a loaf of bread and also drive a kid insane so we can have a line to pull ourselves out of the Time War into the wrong part of the galaxy! Yes!"

[Cheers, laughter, and applause from the audience. It's the Reader's room, through and through. Some days she really loves this job]

--

And I'm going to break there :D But writing this was a ton of fun :D The only other thing I'd want to get in would be a line, probably the closing line, about "the media is telling you! We are the media, and we're telling you. And so are your history textbooks, your TV guides, your biology classes... Thank you! That's our show!"

And I'm done. At least for now. That was so much fun...

~DF

*switches off TARDIS viewscreen in disgust*

Well, thank the gods no one'll let that man into politics.

You've just earned my undying snickers and the Reader's undying disgust. I'd write something up with her as, say, John Oliver or Steven Colbert, probably talking about how terrible Rassilon is and defending the Doctor, but I'm not currently sure I could do that justice.

However, now I have the wonderful mental image of her going "of course he's been 'replaced' by different people! It's called regeneration, you nimwit!" so I'm happy.

~DF

On the second one, *points at Tira* what she said. But thanks a million for the rest!

"Standing up" in this case is slang for "not going to an arranged meeting with." It's usually used in the context of someone not showing up for a date.