Subject: Finally got around to doing the changes
Author:
Posted on: 2016-10-08 21:09:00 UTC
Thanks.
Subject: Finally got around to doing the changes
Author:
Posted on: 2016-10-08 21:09:00 UTC
Thanks.
So 2 years, 10 months and 11 days after I gained permission I have finally got around to writing something PPC-canon related involving my Agents Apollo and Kelly. Unfortunately if you want a mission, I have a feeling you'll have to wait past the three year mark before it'll be complete.
In the meantime enjoy Prelude I: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1n4qeVXriakvIKFZmKcXYW-91S-KpKNSTzWZ2xPU1UOE/edit?usp=sharing
Storme Hawk
... except the usual:
Stopping at first door she found ...
Is there a "the" missing?
He had short back hair that seemed to have beaten any attempts to tame it ...
Did you mean "black"?
HG
Thanks.
I've enjoyed the interprelude, though it's a bit on the short-ish side; I kinda expected a bit more interaction between Apollo and Kelly. Other than, I don't really have anything to say.
There was a very quiet, subtle sense of humour throughout the whole thing - even the absurdity of Kelly running into the direct opposite of her RC has a certain dry calmness, which I quite like. (I also just like that joke in general)
Hell, even the [BEEEEEEEEP] joke has that quality, what with the punchline being a cynical comment, as opposed to any other number of possibilities. Normally the kind of joke you'd expect to be very loud, y'know?
You've also done a good job of introducing the various characteristics of the agents, from Apollo being in pitch-black and fine with it, to Kelly being delighted at archery equipment. Very showy, without telly, y'know?
As Ix said, of course, some've the dialogue's a bit expositiony.
Let's see what the three year mark'll bring...
I like the idea of a daughter of Apollo and a Green Arrow expy working together. That was clever.
I'll be on the lookout for more from these two.
Quivering with anticipation, really.
His pun hit the bullseye, and you know it.
She's a daughter of Apollo...
But his name's Apollo...
WELL THIS WON'T LEAD TO ANY AWKWARD DISCUSSIONS. :P
Only thing I'm going to nitpick is that Apollo's explanation of his powers felt kind of... I dunno, stilted and expositional rather than natural?
I hope it doesn't take you three years to write a mission with these two because I think they'll be interesting to see.