Subject: The Final Episode
Author:
Posted on: 2016-09-15 20:17:00 UTC
Hello, and for the last time… welcome to the Fourth PPC HQ Hunger Games.
You may have heard the rumours about our… difficulties with a number of former tributes. You may be worried that we are in danger from their actions. But we can assure you that there's nothing to worry about; every precaution has been taken to keep us safe.
And if they believe that, they'll-
So! We left off at the end of day seven, with four contestants in the game. For District Eagle Hawk, Kyaris the hydra. Fresh from taking out Derik in an awe-inspiring lightsaber duel, she's injured now, but still a force to be reckoned with.
From District PoorCynic, Gremlin, hatchet-wielding and dedicated. Of all the contestants, she's the one who's been planning ahead the most - but will that be enough?
Hieronymus of District Grey Tomatoes has followed a meandering path through the game. His usual tactic is to befriend the other tributes and take them out while their guard is down, but can he pull it off again?
And finally, Whitney from District Desdenskar. Relentlessly cheerful and able to make the best of every situation, she's had her ups and downs, but is now ready for the final days.
Which have already happened. We already know who won, it was-
Notte! Suspense! As night dawned, our tributes made camp once again. More precisely, Kyaris drained the cafeteria of coffee to keep watch all night, while the other three teamed up - the very last teamup of the Games - and spent a quiet night playing D&D.
We'll have to ask in the interviews who won.
Morning revealed a day of planning and preparation. Three of the agents went on hunts: Whitney for the HQ Pool, Hieronymus for his RC, and Kyaris for the Fountain of Bleepka. What Whitney and Hieronymus intended, we don't know, but Kyaris' plan involved drinking almost half of the fountain.
As for Gremlin, we're not sure what she was up to - she's proven expert at avoiding the cameras - but we do know she got a medical kit from someone outside. Perhaps someone had sympathy for her endless quest to find Medical earlier in the game?
Night fell, and proved that planning is key. While Hieronymus continued to work on his plans for the morning, Kyaris managed to herd or trick Whitney and Gremlin into a Response Centre and seal the door. A blast of bleepka fumes from her many heads finished them off.
We're going to have to get the mad chemists to look into that. Was it the bleach that proved so deadly? The alcohol? Or what?
Who knows? Does even Kyaris know? We certainly don't! All we know is that Day 9 opened on the final, fateful showdown: Kyaris versus Hieronymus, age versus heads. Whoever won would claim the final victory.
It was Kyaris.
Oh, come on! I had a whole speech written about it! I was going to slowly work in the Sherlock Holmes references, and then end it with-
She pushed him down the elevator shaft.
"-which will henceforth be known as the Reichenbach Lift." It was perfect, and you had to go and ruin it.
Yes. Yes I did.
Fine. See if I care. So Kyaris is the winner, good for her. She also shares joint second place in number of kills across the Games with Constance, coming in at five. Third place with four kills is split between Gremlin and Tomash, while the winner, with an astonishing seven kills, is Peregrin.
Trophies for these and other notable achievements will be distributed at the awards ceremony. To those of you who are still baying for our blood: sorry to disappoint, but we will not be attending in person. We're not that stupid.
You say that…
Tune in after the break for the final round of interviews. Thanks for watching!
We all take for granted the weird world we live in - the strange dimensional nature of HQ, the way canon worlds can be both real and fictional, the coexistence of dozens of mutually-exclusive magical systems. But if you've ever found yourself wanting answers to some of the endless questions, or if you've ever wanted to know more about the multiverse, why not subscribe to DAS-JIVE? You can pick up the first volume in the General Store now.
The Journal of Investigating Veracity by Experiment is published by Nutmeg Print, on behalf of DAS. Answers to specific questions mentioned are not guarenteed.
Find the details on the doc.
I don't have time or energy for a award ceremony RP, but if someone else wants to run one, you can have Holo-Jay and Holo-Acacia presenting trophies for anything and everything. You can also have a hunt for Undis Closed, if you want; I might chime in with 'events at the broadcast station' if that happens.
I'd like to thank everyone for taking part. I'd especially like to thank PoorCynic and SkarmorySilver for their artwork, and PoorCynic (again!) for the glory that has been Holo-Acacia and Gremlin. But I also want to thank absolutely everybody who's written even a single interview; it wouldn't have been half as much fun without you.
hS