Have a translucent kitten!

Hey! Welcome to Insanity! Have a urple Pygmy Puff! It's really cute, except for the fact that it's urple.

This magic shovel digs up mufflers. Because you kinda need them. Ease up on the extra capitals and punctuation marks.

I AGREE!!!!

WELCOME!!!!

MY GIFT IS: A CAPS-LOCK BUTTON!!!!
TO SAVE YOU FROM A FATE AS HORRENDOUS AS MINE!!!!

MY CAPS WILL BE FOREVER LOCKED!!!!

For your newbie gift, have this Royal Ice Cream Container. It's essentially the Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans for ice cream, but you get to choose the flavour. It's also virtually invincible, able to withstand a ridiculous amount of explosives, and if you can manage to hide in it, it will probably protect you from a nuclear bomb.

Welcome! Welcome! Make yourself comfortable and have a slice of Infinite Pizza!

Have a pot of black-hole coffee, because everything is awesome!

Hope you'll stick around in this madhouse.

Here, have this singing geode I picked up in the Starbound continuum.

Have one of my own shed feathers and a complimentary kit of Spikes!

Please take this floating Persian.

*shakes fist after DCCCV*

Anyway, hello, and welcome aBoard! For your newbie gift, take this plate of freshly-made SPaGhetti! It looks like the others have already asked my usual questions, so I'll just say I hope you like it here. :)

Welcome to this wonderful Internet community! Here is a steak with non-gemstone-grade diamonds on one side.

Here's some movie-theater popcorn to eat while you read the important stuff linked to at the top of the Board's main page!

We're so much more than just a wiki! You've found the Board (good job!), and we've also got a Discord server; but really, the heart of the community is the writing. This is a writers group run gloriously amok, the wiki is merely where we consolidate the ridiculousness that happens in long-form writing across the interwebs.

Here is your bumper sticker, here is a grammarite crystal, suitable for a lightsaber or Crystal Gem-style soul storage. Welcome to the Board!

Here, have a Murloc Knight. Rwlrwlrwl!
Jokes aside, have you read the Constitution? What are your fandoms? Are you a he, a she, or something else? So many wonderful questions!