Subject: The review I promised you
Author:
Posted on: 2016-08-10 08:41:00 UTC

A very solid piece. These new agents are fun and quirky -- what I'm starting to realize is my favorite type of spinoff (which means it's time to completely rewrite my Permission prompts again! Whee!). The writing was solid, with plenty of funny moments. I liked the pacing when the C-CAD started smoking. And I could picture the action and understand more or less what was going on, despite being totally unfamiliar with RWBY (although I felt that I was missing a lot. TOS made me read LotR; one more RWBY mission will put me over the edge into needing to watch it).

I did sometimes want more description of their surroundings; you gave the minimum required to understand what was going on, which is okay but not awesome. I can follow and enjoy the story, but I'm not immersed in it. If you have plenty of other things to work on, ignore this, but if you feel nicely accomplished at having created this lovely comedic duo and want another target, I recommend description.

--Key, in an airport at midnight because Delta Airlines screwed up.

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