A) Perhaps, but it has become pervasive to the point that complaining about it is slightly rediculous.

II) If they're put off by people complaining about something that is objectively bad, albeit in a hyperbolic fashion, they wouldn't last long anyway.

3) This ignores the fact that people clearly know this is a script of a play. No one complains about the soliloquies in plays because they know that's an element of the medium. If someone complains about a soliloquy it's because the soliloquy was bad not because the person doesn't understand how plays work. Also how does that change anything about the script being bad?

—) Okay. I have done that, I am complaining. This is a poorly written story full of plotholes and stupid ideas, which blatantly contradicts established canon, and introduces several frankly distasteful ideas. Being a play does not matter because the very story itself is flawed and does not deserve the hype it has gotten.

The main problem (at least for me) is not that it's a play, and I'm just reading a script. It's that the content revealed in the play is canon to the world of Harry Potter. As in, there really is a daughter of Voldemort, and a rule-breaking Time-Turner, whether The Cursed Child would be a book, a play, or a comic strip in a newspaper. It's the content that matters most for something that advertises itself as the "eighth story", not the means of showing it. And the play can be executed beautifully, but would you be willing to accept it if it showed, for example, Dumbledore resurrecting himself and having a hot and steamy affair with Malfoy? That's basically the same thing.

I understand that the theater has limitations that you don't get when you read/write a book. I get that. But there was absolutely no need for the play to go out of its way to explicitly contradict canon when it's supposed to be a direct continuation of the books. I don't think it's too much to ask that we have some continuity between them.

I would have put it at a 10, on equal level with the Holiday Special. But the Holiday Special has a huge point in its favor: it's not considered canon-compliant.

Highlights include:

-Harry Potter getting thrown OOC, such as:
--Being afraid of pigeons.
--Telling McGonagall she doesn't know how to do her job and that he will get her fired if she doesn't keep Albus and Scorpius apart.
--Making a huge deal about Albus getting sorted into Slytherin despite promises to be supportive in the books no matter what.
--Assuming that Albus is the cursed child because of vague statements made by Bane, even though Harry had to deal with people making similar assumptions about him when he was in school. Heir of Slytherin, anyone?

Ron getting thrown OOC, such as:
--Getting reduced to dumb comic relief.
--Holding his wand the wrong way around.
--Confessing he doesn't remember his and Hermione's wedding because he was drunk.
--Endorsing date rape drugs. ("Nice to see my love potion being used well, I thought.")

-Trolley Lady turning into Wolverine.
--No, seriously, she grows claws and everything.

-Voldemort and Bellatrix having Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Delphi as their daughter.
--Delphi being a huge canon Sue.
---Brews Polyjuice in mere minutes thanks to "special preparations"
---Has silver-blue hair
---Is a Parselmouth (understandable given she's Voldemort's daughter, dear lord, but still)
---Can fly without a broom, which is most certainly not genetic
---Calls herself the Augury and is the subject of a prophecy
----"When spares are spared, when time is turned, when unseen children murder their fathers: Then will the Dark Lord return."
---Is a stereotypically emo teen with a Dark And Angsty Past
--Somehow never was discovered despite the Trace?

-Cedric getting thrown OOC, such as:
--Turning into a Death Eater because he was embarrassed in the Triwizard Tournament.
--Becoming the first Hufflepuff to ever become a Death Eater.

-Ludo Bagman talking like he's announcing characters for Barney rather than the Tournament.
--"Dog diggity, Cedric Diggory—you are a doggy dynamo."
--"It's Viktor Krazy Krum."
--"Zut alors, it's Fleur Delacour!"
--"He makes us all go weaky at the kneesy, he's Cedric Delicious Diggory."
--"Yes, it's Harry Plucky Potter.")

-Not one, but two Sooper Speshul Time-Turners.
--The Idiot Plot revolving around Albus and Scorpius being desperate to save Cedric and Cedric alone. Um, why just him?

-"He needs to fly out of that maze naked on a broomstick made of purple feather dusters."

Now I understand all the anger. The Cursed Child was hyped up to be the eight book when it’s actually more like the ninth movie.

I still don’t get why nobody complained about Rowling approving the movies. Did Steve Cloves and Michael Goldenberg do so much better jobs, or is it just that the underlying novels are still recognizable, while this is not actually based on a novel?

HG

She's already firing denials like this? Looks like she's expecting some backslash. I cannot help but ask why...

'Canon' fanfic author have another name, ghost writers. Now, JKR didn't wirte the play, but she greenlighted it. She read it, and influenced it and said okay with the final result. It's like one of us asked someone else writing something about our aents, supervising the work, greenlighted the final product, then went all 'No, I didn't write that. It's that guy there. Blame them, not me.'

Now, I know the bold parts are yours, but insisting that hard about the fact she didn't write this the very day it was out... Someone is expecting backslash. And deserves it.

Because the movies, while based on the same canon, are of their own continuity. That's why distinctions are made between bookverse and movieverse. Normally I'd say that this script that was released is part of the theaterverse... except Rowling has explicitly called it the "eighth story" and considers it to be canon for the books. Somehow.

With the exception of Prisoner of Azkaban, the movies were actually good. I was a huge fan of the books, read them all multiple times and bought them as they came out, but with that one exception I actually liked the movies better than the books.

To my knowledge, very few things can extend a wizard's lifespan. Examples include Horcruxes, Unicorn Blood, and The Philosopher/Sorcerer's Stone. A magic train that can make you seemingly immortal just takes the cake.

I actually don't see much of a problem with Delphi's characterisation (ie, she's plausible), but, uh... Voldemort and Bellatrix? I mean, I can see it from Bellatrix, but Voldemort? Did anyone ever think he'd actually engage in that kind of relationship?

And, uhm. She was born 'a few months' before the Battle of Hogwarts, which took place (according to the Wiki) in May '98. So, uh... does that mean she was conceived immediately after Dumbledore's death? It would make 'a few' mean 'two', but I can't see it happening before then.

No, I'm going to go back to my first statement: that ain't Voldemort. What possible reason would he have for doing that?

hS

Though the thing about paper is that its manufacture uses a looooot of unpleasant chemicals... though that said, rice paper is a thing... hm. Also the flavour probably wouldn't infuse properly due to the lack of surface area, and if you're going to make a strip of something made of tea in order to make tea, well, why not just use tea?

Also, don't think I didn't catch that Buffy ref. >=]

In similar vein, though, I want a wand from a spaghetti tree.

I really need to fix that soon.

Which is THE BEST book in the series so far, but gets bad press for the Non-Hetero males.

From what we've already been told, experimentation with long-distance time travel (long time time travel?) has been severely restricted ever since the Mintumble incident, and even if experimentation had gotten to the point where they were able to time travel back not mere hours, but decades, what are the immense odds that the only two experimental time turners able to do that not only survived the destruction in the Department of Mysteries, but ended up in the hands of the people where they'd be most crucial to the plot? There's coincidences that move the plot forward, and then there's coincidences that are just plain outrageous.

Even ignoring the aging issue, how do Albus and Scorpius get away with altering the past so much only for things to instantly reset to normal once they go back? Yes, we had the My Immortal-esque alternate timeline, but that got eradicated with no noticeable side effects on the present timeline. When Mintumble did her thing, she "caused great disturbance to the life paths of all those she met, changing the course of their lives so dramatically that no fewer than twenty-five of their descendants vanished in the present, having been “un-born”" It doesn't outright say she directly interfered with their lives, just that she crossed paths with them (a rather tenuous interpretation, I know, so feel free to ignore it), which reads to me like the butterfly effect. And that's not getting into the problems her time travel caused for the present, what with Tuesday lasting two and a half days and Thursday only four hours. None of that happened in the play. Just go back, hit a reset button, and don't worry about having to deal with the consequences that should have arisen.

(Apologies if any of this is snappy or incoherent. It's six in the morning and I've been up all night so I'm probably not at my most lucid right now, but I didn't want to sleep on this.)

She had not ventured into Air'ihpotre since her first visit to the Federation of Academia, yes, but she remembered and enjoyed its famous stories all the same. She had been curious but not driven to investigate whispers of the newest tale, though one particular detail from it--that a famed witch actually had dark skin rather than the assumed light--had intrigued her.

But this...

"They're saying it's fallen? Is this true?" she asked.

Diane nodded sadly. "As far as I've heard. My lady, I know you're very...protective of things that you loved as a child. For your own health, please, do not look into these dark rumors any more than you have to. I beg you. I can't bear to see you get that angry again. Especially after the last barbarian..."

eatpraylove sighed. "Thank you for your work and your concern, Diane. I will protect my mind the best way I know how: By finally finishing Air'ihpotre's most famous story."

"You haven't finished reading it?" asked Miguel. "But it's been done for almost four years! You were outside that bookshop when they announced the final volume had arrived!"

"That was my mother," said eatpraylove. "Miguel, I told you, I had to process the ending of the fifth part and then got sucked into Federation affairs. And there are so many other things in this world to read and learn about! ...I will finish the saga. I owe it to myself, if not some of my fellow knights."

Diane curtsied. "I hope you enjoy it, my lady. Do you need me for anything else?"

"You and your son are dismissed. Thank you again."

Once the fairies had gone, she put her head in her hands. "Fallen to Marizu...I knew they had troubles, but I always thought the will of their people and Jaikaiar was strong enough to overcome any barbarian.

"Mighty Kanon, I pray that Jaikaiar's champions be protected and healed, and that their land be restored. It has gone through so much pain and suffering."

"My lady... oh, I'm sorry."

Lady Kaitlyn extracted herself from her husband's arms and smiled at Freckles. "Don't worry about it," she said. She glanced at the bundle of papers in the messenger's hand. "News from Tumblar?"

"From Tamblor," Freckles corrected. "It's... my lady, it's..."

"Why did the Chaetters have to name their town after somewhere that already existed?" Kaitlyn shook her head. "It's thoroughly unreasonable."

Huinesoron, now leaning against the wall, gave a cough that sounded suspiciously like "El-Jheycom".

Kaitlyn glared at him. "That's different."

"I never said it wasn't."

"Hm." Kaitlyn turned back to the breathless messenger. "Well, then: what news?"

Freckles bit her lip, then held out one of the messages. "It... here."

Her mistress took the paper. She skimmed the first few lines, then went back and read them more carefully. Her eyes widened as she read, and her hand began to tremble.

"Kaitlyn?" Huinesoron stepped closer. "What...?"

"The Marizu," his wife said in a hollow voice. "They've... Air'ihpotre, it's..." She drew in a deep breath. "Air'ihpotre has fallen to the Marizu. The flag of Roe Lin flies over Hockwart now."

"What?" Huinesoron tried to pull the paper from her fingers, but she refused to let go. "That's impossible. What about their campaigns in the west? What about the war-beasts they were rumoured to be breeding in the Valley of Fantastic Beasts?"

"Armies and monsters mean almost nothing when your armies have no hope," Kaitlyn said. She held the page out to him. "Jaikaiar has declared her support for Roe Lin."

Huinesoron's jaw dropped. "But she's always been the staunchest supporter of-"

"Has she?" Kaitlyn demanded. "Think about it! Hasn't she decried the deaths during the Hallowed Campaign as 'unnecessary'? Didn't she commend the Harmony Fleet for their strength and persceptiveness, even as they unloaded fresh troops for Roe Lin's assaults? Is she not," she went on, her face turning grim, "the mage behind the Curse of the White Scorpion which felled the walls of Hockwart itself?"

"But," Huinesoron spluttered, "but-"

"The Guardians of Hockwart owe alliegence to her," Kaitlyn said, "and they were seen arrayed alongside the Beasts of the Isle of Morn in the battle lines of Roe Lin. There can be no doubt." She laid the sheet of paper almost reverently on her desk, then crumpled back into her seat. "It's..." She lowered her head, covering her face with her hands. "It's just like the Weaver all over again..."

---

Well. That's that. (Now I have to redraw the maps...)

hS

Thanasius Ampelius closed the book he was reading and put it down on the table with a gentle thud. “What is it, Einar?” he asked the man who approached him, scroll in hand.
“I think you should read it for yourself, milord,” the bright-haired mage replied.
“Very well.” The Baron took the scroll from the mage and used the book he put down and a large piece of amber to force it to stay flat for a while. He read it twice, then tugged at his goatee and looked up. “It’s confirmed?”
“Aye. Eyewitnesses.”
“Then the Marizu have struck another blow at the Scholars’ Empire.” Thanasius sighed. “Please deliver this message to the Seneschal and Karrin the Blue in the Monastery; they ought to know, too.”
“Whatever will you do, milord?” Einar seemed to perk up as he asked this question.
“What I always do. It is not something that is in my ability to change.” Thanasius handed the scroll back to the mage.
“Oh.” Einar seemed to deflate and left the room; the Baron returned to his book.

At first, he thought it was some mistake. Then a sick joke. Then he denied it could even be possible.

But there was no possible way to avoid the sad reality. His country was now nothing but a den of Marizu, its former glory now completely forgotten.

It took him quite moment to collect himself, but once it was done, he went in his room in order to take Legard, the tome of Nicodelli and donning his armor. He then exited the inn, putting on his burgonet helmet. Saving Air'ihpotre could be impossible, but surely some sort of revenge could be found...

(I'll take HP badfic suggestions. I've no doubt about finding something bad enough, but if someone want to see some badfic missionned to oblivion...)