Subject: Drat, link broke.
Author:
Posted on: 2018-06-06 14:29:00 UTC
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New introductory interlude! by
on 2018-06-06 14:28:00 UTC
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In which a newbie is introduced to the PPC - and much later, her very feathery trainer.
It's been far too long since either of us posted any PPC writing, so here you go. We hope you enjoy, and we're already in the process of writing our characters' first mission together, so be sure to look forward to that in the next few weeks! ;) -
Catching up by
on 2018-06-17 09:46:00 UTC
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Well, kid, I… I know about the the Gem Homeworld only incidentally...
While "I… I" obviously is intentional, "the the" probably isn’t.
HG -
Re: interlude by
on 2018-06-10 21:08:00 UTC
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I like seeing this much calmer version of Velociripper, compared to his original appearances: specifically that while he's no longer being aggressively tough and macho, he's still got elements of predatory dinosaur to him.
I do feel like Citrine accepts her status as a bootleg of a separate canon weirdly quickly, especially when she calls her weapon a copy and refers to the Hinata replacement, a person she has known a long time as "Gem!Hinata." On the other hand, I get that this is an intro piece, and the point wasn't to go through the entire long process of a character coming to terms with their created nature, so . . . yeah.
—doctorlit, catching up -
Re: feedback by
on 2018-06-10 21:56:00 UTC
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One little character development thing I've always wanted Ripper to go through is to basically discard his original ambitions to subjugate humanity and his lack of restraint regarding his violent tendencies, since I disliked them in hindsight and found that they made his personality rather flat. His updated temperament is more realistic and interesting to me because carnivorous creatures as a general rule aren't actually aggressive unless defending kills, territory, or relations such as offspring if they have a social structure, and even then they'd rather not risk getting hurt and being unable to hunt. Herbivores don't have the same restraint and their main priority is staying alive, whatever messed with them be darned, which is why many large herbivores like hippos or even cattle and horses cause more human fatalities annually than carnivores do. It's also worth noting was that Ripper's original characterization was basically "KILL FRIGGIN' EVERYTHING" and more akin to the Chaotic Evil raptors from the earlier JP installments and the original two novels, which was justified by their lack of social structure and rectified to some extent by Jurassic World's Raptor Squad. I imagine that since Rips follows his home continuum quite closely he'd come to terms with this change in depiction and adjust his nature accordingly.
It wasn't my intention to go into too much depth regarding Palmeira's adjustment to becoming a character of her own, but the in-universe justification of her accepting that she isn't Canon!Nami after all is that she started doubting that she and said canon were the same as soon as the agents who found her and her crew pressed the charges against them. I guess the other two stubbornly choosing to fight back and getting shattered as a result probably didn't help her case, either. -
A few small things by
on 2018-06-09 01:47:00 UTC
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There were a few instances of "the PPC HQ" that tripped my "this sounds off" sense, but maybe that's just me.
Second, how are people pronouncing the exclamation points?
Third, how'd Palmaira know that she might only have Nami's memories?
Overall, this was reasonably well written and a pretty good introduction interlude. It maybe could've used a bit more humor though.
- Tomash -
*snatches up the mini-Agent* by
on 2018-06-10 21:46:00 UTC
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I might have to go back again and check what usages of "PPC HQ" could be replaced with "PPC Headquarters" or "Headquarters" for better flow. I may need to check on whether the HQ abbreviation is used in other works but I don't see why it couldn't be.
The pronunciation I've seen on the Wiki is "[descriptor]-bang-[character]". I suppose we could roll with the punctuation mark being silent, i.e. Gem!Nami being pronounced as "Gem-Nami".
And the badfic the character who'd become Palmeira comes from made it clear that it was canon!Nami who was kidnapped, tortured, and polymorphed into her gem self from the fic. So that means aside from that grossness, she's largely canon-compliant and doesn't belong specifically because she's a being in the style of one continuum "converted" from a canon native to a different one to the point where she's no longer able to fit in either.
The mission Palmeira and Ripper are going to go into is definitely gonna rectify the relative humor drought, assuming we can actually get around to writing it! Although that's a matter that eatpraylove and I will decide together once we get around to actually writing the good stuff. - Drat, link broke. by on 2018-06-06 14:29:00 UTC Reply