Subject: Beautiful.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-11-14 20:09:00 UTC
Depressingly sad, but very well done.
Now excuse me while I cry manly tears like when I watched Madoka Magica.
Subject: Beautiful.
Author:
Posted on: 2012-11-14 20:09:00 UTC
Depressingly sad, but very well done.
Now excuse me while I cry manly tears like when I watched Madoka Magica.
I've been working on this collection for a while. The original idea boiled up in my head over a year ago, around the time a bevy of missions were published where the agents all narrowly escaped brushes with dangerous Sues and Stus. Escaping danger is all very well and good, I remember thinking, but this was approaching silly levels. And not good silly, either.
We've built up the PPC's foes as being larger-than-life reality warpers. Surely not every mission can end with clever wit and pluck winning the day. Surely there must be casualties.
These stories are in reaction to that. These stories follow agents as they try to cope with losing their friends and loved ones.
WARNING: This is not your typical light-hearted PPC fare. The following contains mature language, violence, and multiple instances of character death.
Five Stages
By chapters:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
FINAL NOTE: For anyone confused or concerned regarding where these fit in my character's canon, please note the 'AU' in the subject line. These are "what might have been/could be," not "what will be." Concrit is, of course, heartily appreciated.
I enjoyed how each short story integrated Kübler-Ross' five stages of grief into its theme. Character interactions are well-written and give insight into each character's personality. Descriptions set up the mood and stage perfectly for the action.
The short sentences and narrative style in the first story greatly contributed to the theme of Denial. For that reason I think I'm going to declare it my favourite short story of the five, though Depression made quite an impression on me.
Hats off to you, sir.
I'm finding it interesting which stories people say are their favorites, or which ones moved them the most. I'm not sure I can really say which is my favorite (I'll probably need a bit more retrospective to say for sure), although I will say that Anger and Bargaining took the most rewrites/revisions from my original outline before I was satisfied.
Depressingly sad, but very well done.
Now excuse me while I cry manly tears like when I watched Madoka Magica.
Yes, I understand that the job is dangerous... but all the same, I'm more biased towards happy endings.
...Man, now I need some cheering up...
This is some very heavy stuff, but I like it. I agree that agents wouldn't get off scotch-free if the PPC were less humor-oriented and more realistic; of course, then it wouldn't quite be the PPC. But that's what AUs are for, eh?
I think "Anger" and "Depression" hit me the hardest. "Anger" because of seeing Laura so viciously upset at Danny, and "Despression" because realizing just how much Xericka is relying on Gremlin as her heart is . . . well, heart-breaking. I hope our universe's Xericka never has to go through that. "Acceptance" was probably the least emotionally turbulent for me, because of the time it has separated from the death. (As well as the bits of hope thrown into it, with Xericka marrying Gremlin (I assume) and adopting another badfic baby.)
"Denial" is my favorite, due to it depicting Danny's death in a moment of action. That action helps to dilute the impact of his death, making it feel a bit more "valuable" to me. The deaths in the other stories were a bit more difficult to swallow, since they all get mentioned after the fact, and were more sudden and unexpected as a result. However, I also liked the narrative structure in "Depression," with Xericka's purely Nobodyish thoughts interspersed with outside observers' commentary. Even though it made me feel rather depressed.
As usual, my obnoxious Pointing-Out-Of-Errors™:
("Denial") She only stopped when he heard the noise from behind her. Someone weakly calling her name.
("Anger") The color returned in force to Laura’s face; an livid purple-red, like an old bruise.
("Bargaining") Gremlin voice was thick and broken now, interrupted by intermittent sobs.
("Depression") "Do the two of the you speak about anything?"
("Depression") "I figured she was just wanted company.”
Thank you for your review! I appreciate you taking the time to lay out your thoughts, not to mention find those goofs. Pointing out my errors, no matter how small, is never obnoxious. They've been fixed.
Acceptance was always intended to be the least emotionally troubling (you know, being 'Acceptance' and all). Having all five stories be unrelentingly depressing would be a bit much; there needs to be that breather at the end. And yes, Xericka did marry Gremlin. I left it unstated in part because I felt it was pretty obvious to anyone who's read my spin-offs, but mostly because I couldn't find a way to put it that didn't come off as awkwardly phrased.
Since Danny's death was such major focal point in Denial, I felt it should be important. An earlier draft sans the leap in front of the bullet just didn't sit right with me. Besides, sacrificing himself for Laura seemed like a very IC thing for Danny to do. I didn't dwell in-depth on the others' deaths because it wouldn't have fit well with what I was trying to do with these stories. The stories are all about those left behind and what they're going through, not necessarily about the moment of death.
One last thing I wanted to address, in regards to what you said about the PPC being "less humor-oriented and more realistic; of course, then it wouldn't quite be the PPC." One of the other reviews mentioned this as well. I always operated under the impression that the PPC was supposed to be somewhat realistic; having ordinary, relatable agents -- people we the audience are capable of relating to on a personal level -- opposing the over-the-top Sues and Stus. That's not to say it can't be funny, but being funny shouldn't be the only thing. You need calm moments where the agents can relate to each other beyond snarky one-liners.
I suppose I should also mention Crashing Down, which I would certainly not call a "humor-oriented" story.
Thank you again for the review. It was much appreciated.
I guess I meant that we tend towards the light-hearted, rather than avoiding realism altogether. The agents are essentially fighting a war, but casualties rarely occur on our side, outside of emergencies. Now, on one hand, missions kind of have to have a happy ending, because in writing missions, we do have an obligation to the published canons to actually fix them, like we're supposed to. And I also don't expect people left and right to kill off their agents after growing attached to them, especially with so many being avatars of their authors. Still, this removes a level of realism from the setting for me, which makes exploratory writings like this one particularly interesting to me.
A good something, definitely. Sad and heartwarming and also sad. It's an interesting look at what things would be like if a) the PPC wasn't humor-focused and b) authors were more inclined to kill off their agents. So basically, if the PPC followed a bit more 'Real-World' logic.
Also, Death of the Endless! Took me a minute to recognize her, but I think you did a good job writing her.