Subject: Pokemon Go (a play in one act).
Author:
Posted on: 2018-04-09 14:03:00 UTC

Scene I. A website

The News: Pokemon Go will let you catch Pokemon!

Huinesoron: Cool!

Huinesoron: Aww, my phone won't run it.


Scene II. A phone shop

Huinesoron: One new phone, please!


Scene III. Outside

Pokemon Go: Gotta catch 'em all!

Huinesoron: I intend to, my friend!

Pokemon Go: ...

Huinesoron: ... but now I'm bored of Rattata.

Pokemon Go: ...

Pokemon Go: Gotta catch 'em all... in Johto!

Huinesoron: Yay! Johto is cool!

Huinesoron: ... so...

Pokemon Go: ... in Hoenn!

Huinesoron: I mean, Gen 3 has some cool Pokemon, but I'm still drowning in Caterpie and Natu here.

Pokemon Go: Spin Pokestops every day for more stuff!

Huinesoron: Which is... nice, I suppose? But stuff doesn't help me find any new Pokemon.

Pokemon Go: Team up with your friends to go on raids at the local gym!

Huinesoron: 'Friends'?

Pokemon Go: Wow! You can catch Legendary Pokemon in these raids!

Huinesoron: Yeah, but I point you at my previous comment. I don't have people I go Pokemon hunting with, and I've only talked to someone at a raid, like, once.

Pokemon Go: ...

Huinesoron: ... soooo I guess I'm never getting a legendary anything, then. Welp.

Pokemon Go: ...

Pokemon Go: Complete missions and win prizes!

Huinesoron: Okay, it's just more Pokeballs and stuff, but at least the missions give me a goal, so I guess that's cool.


Scene IV. Outside. A rainy day.

Prof. Willow outta nowhere: HUINESORON!

Huinesoron: Wait what yes me what?

Prof. Willow: You have completed a simple task once per day for eight days!

Huinesoron: Well, yeah; they were things like 'Catch three Swablu', and I could bin the missions I didn't want and get a new one, it wasn't hard.

Prof. Willow: Here is some stardust for you!

Huinesoron: Yay, it's enough to level up one Pokemon. Once.

Prof. Willow: Here is a mYsTeRy ItEm for you!

Huinesoron: Yay, it's 20 Pokeballs. Saves me going to the Pokestop, I guess.

Prof. Willow: Here is a Pokemon for you to catch!

Huinesoron: Look, it's been Houndour the last three times, it's not that exciting. Can I just--

Moltres: SKREEEEE!

Huinesoron: ... wut.

Moltres: SKREEEEE!

Huinesoron: ... wut.

Ultra Ball: [Flops to the ground]

Huinesoron: ARGH why is my screen wet and stopping the balls throwing properly?

Rain: [Falls]

Kyogre, somewhere: ehehehehehe

Moltres: [Burst out of fourth Ultra Ball] SKREEEEE!

Huinesoron: JUST GET IN THE BALL ALREADY!

Moltres: [Gets in the ball already]

Huinesoron: ... welp, that happened.




So now I have a Moltres, apparently?

I know a lot of people were interested in this game when it first came out. A year in - anyone still playing? How've you found it?

hS

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