Wow. That was a ride. I know nothing about Warhammer beyond, uh, memey pictures posted online, but I feel like you guys painted a good picture of the battles there, and the general mood of seriousness and pessimism that seems to be the thing, there.

I like that you've brought together two very serious, somber, large-bodied men, and spent a lot of time developing an emotional bond between them. In addition to their own ongoing character development, it makes a nice contrast with the Sue in this mission: one hulking space cyborg thinks only of himself and interacts with his fists, while our big PPC boys are supportive of each other and keep their violence in check until the moment it's needed. Tom is also a welcome source of humor and light-heartedness throughout the mostly gloomy environments of the mission.

Little moments I liked: the warsheep, the Python chanting, Huinesoron's rant, and Tom's arrival on the battlefield, flanked by rock-and-roll speakers.

One typo I noticed: I believe you wanted "gates of Bree"?
". . . the agents hadn’t bothered to look ahead, and were suddenly yanked to the gates Bree with the abruptness of a poorly written transition."

—doctorlit, rebelling against imagining movieverse!Thorin in his mind's eye

But as is my habit, I spotted some technical errors:

it seems our Stu was was born in a ‘test-tub.’
Paging the Repetitive Department of Repetition.

Then I cannot even kill the man who was partially responsible for making my brothers and I the shadows we are?
Shouldn’t this be “my brothers and me”?

HG

Is this the first completed mission in the Warhammer 40,000 continuum? If so, congratulations on breaking new ground. If not, the mission is still good and the wiki is inaccurate.

I ope your spin-off will continue for long and be as fun as that mission was to read.

One thing though *Look again at te way the bit captain behaved*. Are you sure the captain you neuralized didn't decide to change name after the mission to something like... Cato Sicarius? Because cool spin-off or not, I'f that's the case, I'mm not sure I could forgive you for creating the Worst Ultrasmurf Ever.

Might get around to writing a proper review, but my brain's frazzled.

I just wanted y'all to know this was good and I enjoyed reading it, even if I know... uh, nothing about 40k. Cheers.

Here's the mission on Neshomeh's Archive. And I believe all three of these are adoptable:

Mini-grox
* Tera
* Slaneesh (comes with panties on his head)

Mini-Balrog
* Arcenstone

~Neshomeh will be adding stuff to the wiki in due time.

I mean, I'm biased because I betad, but I think it turned out really really well! (Expect a return of the armored ovoid if I ever write a deliberate badfic where it would be actually appropriate. Because that is far too funny to not.)