Subject: Thanks!
Author:
Posted on: 2017-12-27 22:36:00 UTC
Also, I wonder if I should find somewhere else to post my ideas since Google docs is no longer an option. Any ideas?
Subject: Thanks!
Author:
Posted on: 2017-12-27 22:36:00 UTC
Also, I wonder if I should find somewhere else to post my ideas since Google docs is no longer an option. Any ideas?
So, I've been working out this idea for a while, a story set in an urban fantasy setting, albeit one where regular humans and supernaturals exist side-by-side.
Of course, my paranoia (and too much time spent on TVTropes) has left me iffy about my writing skills. So I figured I'd just ask for some feedback. But seeing as Google Docs just up and stopped working on me, I'll just fall back on my Deviantart page (I've had it for over a decade now, keep that in mind if you decide to check out my older works).
https://psychodemonfox.deviantart.com/art/The-Weird-World-Races-722040731
https://psychodemonfox.deviantart.com/art/The-Weird-World-Magic-722041626
https://psychodemonfox.deviantart.com/art/The-Weird-World-Glossary-722127431
This is what I have so far, I'm currently still working on a Bestiary. I'm also trying to figure out a backstory, but I know little of how politics work...
But it feels empty or incomplete somehow? You have this solid magic system in place but it lacks... something. I can't really say it in a word. Your magic is solid, but it lacks intricacy, so to speak. So far, all it tells me is the what, it doesn't tell me the why and how. You mention a cost for your magic, here is where you could elaborate much more. In general, yes, costs vary widely, but maybe a certain type of cost can be more closely associated with a certain type of magic. Like say draining lifespan is more common in necromancy. Also, are there any taboos for magic use, rules that the world itself enforces? A common one would be "any attempt to fully bring back the dead will result in something really bad". You also have Ofuda, which is a regional magic, why only one? Other cultures have surely created their own magics; using other regional magics can open up opportunities for contrast and character interaction, such as using Taoism to compare and contrast with Ofuda. Finally, you mentioned magitek, that's all well and good, but maybe try and think a bit more on how that would work, consider things such as power source and how the magic is actually delivered. What about some of its uses other than "powers electronic devices"? Maybe it lets a normal person with no magical talent cast simple spells through a smartphone app, or lets cameras take pictures of otherwise invisible objects. Your magic system is really good so far, but it can use a lot more detail, especially since it's supposed to be "another form of science".
As for the races, there isn't really much to say here other than that it shares pretty much the same problem as the magic. It's has the stereotypical fantasy races with a bunch of other mythological creatures added in. It's nice, but your elves are just elves, you could have done away with the description of the fair folk and I would still know what the fair folk are like. Although, this is a pretty minor problem and doesn't necessarily have to be addressed. The big problem is that you did the region thing again. Your world is on a global scale and thus should logically have more than just western and Japanese monsters. India and the middle east exists in your world, no? Where are the rakshasas and asuras? Or the silas and ifrits? These don't belong to the bestiary because they are sapient.
All in all, its a great base for your world, but there is a lot more detailing to be done for your magic system, and maybe try making it a bit more globalized given the setting.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure how to implement details to the magic system. Maybe magic can be implemented in a variety of ways? I'm going for the "Magic A is Magic A" approach, would that help. I will keep your ideas for Magitek in mind, too.
As for the races idea, eh, I probably won't implement all of them. I am aware that it's all kinda cliché. Any ideas to spice them up?
Keep in mind that I'm still working out all the details, I just want some feedback.
Thanks again!
Instead of thinking about what you magic can actually do, try thinking about how it actually occurs. So, let us conduct a bit of a case study here. I will use the systems from Fullmetal Alchemist and Eragon. (Say what you will about inheritance cycle, but I do like the magic system for having simple rules, yet allows for some complexity in usage.) Read the last 2 paragraphs if you don't want spoilers.
So first, Fullmetal Alchemist. Alchemy is essentially transmuting one material into another. That answers "what", pretty basic, but not very detailed. But, its the rules and workings of alchemy that gives it detail. Here are a few:
- Alchemy is done via a transmutation circle.
- The transmutation circle can be pre-drawn such as the case of Roy Mustangs gloves.
- Different circles must be drawn for different processes.
- One does not need a circle if they have seen the gate of truth.
- There must be an equivalent exchange, one cannot "create too much from too little"
- A philosopher's stone does not circumvent equivalent exchange, but rather is a source of "cost" that can be used to increase what is created, once it is used up, one can no longer "break" equivalent exchange unless a new one is acquired.
- Philosopher's stones are created from human souls, how long one lasts depends on how many souls it has. The souls get used as a substitute cost.
- A Philosopher's stone can be split into many portions so long as each portion contains at least 1 soul.
- The cost of alchemy is payed through the gate of truth which exists in every person
- One can no longer perform alchemy if they lose their gate.
- And so on and so forth...
As for Eragon, magic is a real physical effect invoked by a spell. And like a detailed magic system, it has rules:
- Spells are spoken in the ancient language.
- What is said in the language is what happens.
- Spells can be as long as need be for precision.
- Spells cost as much energy as it would have required if the effect was done manually.
- Overexerting oneself results in death.
- One can outsource energy cost to other living things.
- One can store energy in precious stones.
- Grammar is important.
So, as you can see, what gives magic detail isn't what the magic can do, but how the magic works. A good analogy is physics. What makes physics complicated isn't what it is, but is the absurd number of rules and concepts that it has, laws of physics such as Newton's laws of motion, Maxwell's equations, particle-wave duality etc. Similarly, to add detail to your magic, you could create a set of rules, the laws of magic, if you will. Once you do have a set of laws, you can then extrapolate some gimmicks the magic might have. For example, in Eragon, instead of saying "die" a magic user could say "sever his carotid artery" instead to save energy. The end result is the same, but the cost is different.
As for the races, spicing it up isn't really necessary since this is urban fantasy. One trait of the genre is that creatures that appear in myths have been living along side us all this time. But, there is a way to differentiate from high fantasy and that is to diversify your races, essentially make it less homogenized. How might orcs from different areas of the world have developed differently? This also happens to solve the region problem in my previous post, just make regional variants of existing races that somewhat match mythical descriptions. For example, you could say that Rakshasas are simply a variant of Oni. Just an idea.
...Though given my lack of ability to understand technical details (I have something of a short attention span) it might be tricky. Well, that's what research and planning are for, right?
I'm also partially inspired by a novel I found called "Dirty Magic". Basically it takes place in a world where magic exists, but the story focuses on a cop dealing in illegal potions. (It's part of a series, and I haven't read the rest of them yet, so I'm not sure if actual spells are involved).
That being said, I do recommend this book if you like urban fantasy. The author really put a lot of work into creating the world, something I want to emulate. Be warned though, it gets pretty intense at points.
... when I have time, it sounds pretty interesting.
Anyways back on topic. You say you have a hard time understanding technical details. If you don't know where to actually start creating technical details, there are six broad questions you need to ask; keep in mind these six broad questions can be used for each part of worldbuilding, although the significance of each question may vary depending on which part you are developing. As you may have guessed, the six questions are who, what, when, where, why, and how. These are obviously too broad to be of direct use, so let's break it down, this is by no means an exhaustive list.
Who - who can use magic
- Can anyone use magic?
- Is talent decided at birth, or can the gift be acquired through some special means?
- What determines power?
- Can a person get more powerful? If so, how?
- Does race affect magic?
- Are there some types of magic that some races cannot use?
- Are certain races better at magic?
- Better at only certain types?
- Do some races have an innate form of magic?
- Are some races incapable of magic save for any innate magic?
What - What is magic? (You answered this pretty well already, but here are a few more questions you can consider)
-What are the costs associated with magic?
- Are there different costs for different types of magic?
- Do certain races get a discount for certain types of magic?
- Are there any taboos associated with magic?
- Is there an "Order" to the universe that magic cannot break?
- If there is and it can be broken, what are the consequences or extra cost of breaking said Order?
- What are the weaknesses and limitations of magic?
When - when can you use magic?
- Are there certain spells that only work in certain times?
- Are there auspicious periods where magic can get stronger/ cost less?
- If so, do certain periods correspond to certain types of magic?
- Can this time period be used to break taboos?
Where - where can you use magic?
- Are there dead zones? (places where magic does not work or is weaker)
- Are there places where magic is stronger? (Ley lines perhaps?)
- Are there places where certain types of magic is strengthened but others are weakened?
- Is there a way to manipulate the affinity of such places?
How - How is magic used?
- what is the procedure of spell casting?
- Magic symbols?
- Gestures and movements?
- Sound?
- Words?
- Force of will?
- A combination of any of the above as well as anything I did not think of?
- Do these differ depending on magic type/race?
- How is magic applied to technology?
- How are new spells discovered?
Why - This is arguably the trickiest, and not always necessary. Just keep "Why?" in mind whenever you make a decision in your world building, if the answer doesn't require too much metaphysical stuff, try to answer it. An example of an answerable one is "Why are there dead zones?" An example of one you could leave alone is "Why does magic exist?"
I'm working out the ideas, not sure if I should share it when I'm done to have someone go over them. Plus some story ideas, but they're kinda spoilery.
By the way, the book is “Dirty Magic” by Jaye Wells, and I think it is part of a trilogy, but like I said before, I haven’t read the other two yet. Let me know what you think!
http://www.springhole.net/writing/worldbuilding.htm
In the "Government" section, there might be some stuff that can help you. Maybe even read some stuff outside that section if you feel it's applicable. Hopefully this will help!
-Twistey
I should've elaborated more on that post about what I'm talking about. What I mean is the following:
My computer blocks DeviantArt, so I can't see any of that stuff you've got so far. But since you say you don't know much about politics, I decided to send you that link because it'll probably have something that has to do with politics (can't be sure, as my search for the term "politics" turned up nothing, but there's probably something in there). Even if there's nothing for that question, there's also a lot of other world-building stuff (including pages about creating fantasy species and races) that could be useful to you. Hope this helps!
-Twistey
Also, I wonder if I should find somewhere else to post my ideas since Google docs is no longer an option. Any ideas?
Those aren't blocked on my machine, and I'm planning to eventually get an account for one or the other soon.
Also, do you know some of the details of what's up with your Google docs? It's not on the server side, evidently, as my Google docs has been working fine, so I'm wondering if I can help you figure out what's going on. (Probably too big a task for me, since I don't have quite as much computer experience as I wish, but I seriously can't walk away from most opportunities to help someone out. :P)
-Twistey
No, but I might. Are they free to download?
As for the Google Docs issue, apparently I'm having connection issues and it's driving me bonkers.
I don't know what the deal is, it won't let me make any edits, hence why I've been forced to take other methods.