Subject: Okay, o-kaaaaay, I'll take it seriously.
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Posted on: 2019-02-22 10:53:00 UTC

I'll assume a modern, Western setting for all of these, for Consistency(TM).

1. Hail and well met.

This person is an introvert, playing up their misfit nature as a defense mechanism: 'you can't make fun of me if I'm over-the-top about it'. They're liable to get worn out by the effort of social interaction, so will become more and more withdrawn as the event goes on.

2. Good afternoon.

This person is exquisitely uncomfortable. They're younger than most people around them, and feel like they need to make a good impression on everybody. There's no end goal to that: that's just how they approach social settings like this.

3. Hi!

This person is just a bit too cheerful to be believable; I think it's because they don't immediately follow up with a perky question. They've had a bad day, on a personal level (an argument with a friend, maybe?) and are now deliberately trying to quash it and Just Enjoy Themselves.

4. Yo, what's up?

This person is stuck in the '90s is very distracted: they've given the stranger a response they'd normally give to a friend. I think they're waiting for someone. They're the sort of person who gets an idea of what's going to happen ('I'm meeting this person') and won't settle down until reality matches their plans.

(And for the record, it's the combination of dated slang 'yo' with Budweiser advert 'wazzup'.)

5. What do you want?

This person dooooesn't want to be here. This isn't their sort of event (though they are generally socially capable and do have events they would enjoy), and they have no inclination to pretend it is. I'm inclined to say they've been dragged there by a family member - not a friend or loved one (who they wouldn't want to upset), or a colleague or something (who they'd want to keep in the good books of). Someone they are perfectly happy knowing they hate it.

hS

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