You did a good job of sporking the "badfic" while also giving us a good sense of who the two agents are.

Casually finding out halfway through the story that Gibbs is a lizard (though it's possible I missed an earlier mention) seems really PPC - like "Oh, yeah, my partner's a lizard. That's normal around here."

The ending where Bradbury tried to pull rank he didn't have at the end was really funny.

"Isn’t the point of this to provide adequate training for new agents, so why is it unable." should maybe have punctuation that isn't a comma after "agents". Maybe a question mark?

You also seem to have changed fonts halfway down page 6.

Those are minor points, though, and overall I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

- Tomash

I haven't read too many PPC stories, but I found this one very engaging and funny.

I remember these two. ^^ I like the... irreverent, I suppose, writing style you've gone for; as someone whose PPC stories can tend to much towards the Take This Seriously end, it's always good to see something that treats the setting appropriately lightly.

I think you've got a nice balance between quotes from the 'fic' and interactions with the agents, and you've also resisted the urge to make it 90 gazillion pages long (unlike certain Huinesorons I could mention). So good!

Still got no idea why you made Bradbury Argentine, though. ^~

hS

This was actually quite an interesting new take on PPC training! Simulating field missions would allow for faster training overall, I think, cutting out some of the "book learning" prep time before agents get thrust into their first actual badfic. I like that it actually starts the simulation in a phony RC, and I love the implication that DoSAT just used a generator to make up a fake badfic, rather than going to the trouble of trying to accurately digitize an existing badfic.

I feel like Bradbury has a bit of a stronger presence in this story than Gibbs does. I've got a good sense of Bradbury's dutiful outlook, and the value he places on his now defunct rank. Gibbs, though, was pretty quiet throughout the whole piece. In fact, other than his height and one allusion to Yark, his status as a giant lizard person didn't really come across much at all. What does he eat? Is the temperature in HQ at a healthy level for an ectotherm? How weird are human social customs to him? (Not that a human self-relating into a body-ball is a good example of human customs, but it's something that might come up more in a more standard mission.) I do suggest giving Gibbs more of a voice in future stories.

I do like the technician quite a bit, though. I particularly like that she clearly has some bad blood with one of the trainees, but still stays professional and jumps straight into her duty in training them . . . right up until Bradbury mouths off towards her at the end. I'm curious whether her silence is her coming up with a response, or whether she's simply left them in the simulation for a while until they're less argumentative?

Now some technical errors, in reverse-chronological order because that saves the nitpick-y one for last:

In the charge list: "'. . . have unreasonable angst about being special in unclear ways . . .'"
"Have" should be "having" to match the rest of the verbs in the charge list.

"'Let’s hold up on that. People deserve the benefit of the doubt.'"
The line break between this sentence and the bold badfic excerpt that follows it is missing. (I think you want one there, though I could be wrong.)

And finally, in your opening notes, the title Lord of the Rings should technically be The Lord of the Rings. Told you this one was a nitpick!

—doctorlit really wants to see Aragorn, Galadriel and Snape fighting crime together as Green Lanterns now

I had fun reading this. ^_^

Your characters are suitably quirky, and I generally enjoyed the dynamic between your characters, although I must say I'd like to see it explored more: Gibbs and Bradbury have very different backgrounds, and seeing them bounce off of one another (and seeing how Gibbs defies expectations, given his rather strange home continuum) would be fun.

Errant notes:

-DoSAT agents being irate. Yes.
-You actually *do* need to tell everyone that your mission is rated for explicit language. We're PG unless otherwise noted, sooo...
-I wanna see more description out of you. All those incoherent perspective shifts and general nonsense no doubt creates a World World that looks like a freaking Escher painting for the agents. I wanna see them coping with that. I want descriptions of the insanity. But then, that could just be me. I like descriptions. :-P
-Your sense of humor is generally really sharp. Try and use that more, develop it out. It was a big part of the draw of the mission.

... very, very insane. In a good way.