Subject: Thoughts
Author:
Posted on: 2018-11-02 08:31:00 UTC

One comment I have is on paragraph 2, where, on top of the edit "monster whichthat could", you might want to consider breaking up that long sentence a bit and reducing the repetition of "weakness" (if you can find a way to do that). Similar comments apply to paragraph 4.

You've also got an extra comma before "because" in paragraph 3.

That all being said, I think this was a pretty decent fight scene.

- Tomash

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