Subject: This is hilarious
Author:
Posted on: 2018-10-24 01:34:00 UTC
"You idiotic maid; how dare you delay our breakfasts?"
But seriously (not seriously), this thing is great. Tense changes, cliches all over the place, author's notes in text, censored curses; this is a gold mine.
Seriously, though. This is a lot of badfic in one place that is not a collection.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6928960/chapters/15804844
A WBWL fic, Dark Harry & Dark “Hermione Cassiopeia Riddle” (despite the fact that she is a freaking MUGGLEBORN)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7546407
Sub HarryxHarem.
I... feel like that’s enough bye
I once read this original badfic that was written with the “humans are slaves to vampires (in the future)” trope, and (I think) the main character’s name was Rogue, but it kept being spelled “rouge” and that was very uncomfortable. I think it was spelled wrong for the whole fic, for whatever reason. Also, I have no idea why I’m typing this.
Okay so apparently she’s the first girl to attend Durmstrang, the most powerful witch of her age, etc.
https://www.quotev.com/story/7945100/The-Forgotten-Sister/1
Why did she start wandless magic at nine?
H e r w a n d t h o u g h .
“Familiar”. T h e y a r e p e t s.
A twin sister of Hermione... who is abused. And Harry falls in love at first sight, because Twu Wuv.
https://www.quotev.com/story/11260514/The-Forgotten-One
"You idiotic maid; how dare you delay our breakfasts?"
But seriously (not seriously), this thing is great. Tense changes, cliches all over the place, author's notes in text, censored curses; this is a gold mine.
:)
Before you dive into this fic, you should know the Sue calls Mcgonagall “Minnie” and Dumbledore “Grandpa”. She also has her own dorm in the Gryffindor tower, and the author does *not* use line breaks for the author’s notes, even though they are used for “recaps?.
Omigod guys. Guys.
Okay, so during the sorting, there’s a thing where it switches to “he”. So at first I thought it was a typo, but then it kept being the male pronoun and it tells us how she got picked last for sports teams! It even mention Dudley’s name! This blatant plagiarism is blatant and I should stop being redundant, but this is just hilarious.
American at Hogwarts, who is also Hermione’s cousin.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/3174333/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Secrets-Revealed
Not a rhetorical question. What about this fic makes you want to spork out your eyes, beat your head against a wall, and/or pull out your hair? What about it simply must be seen to be believed? The fun of badfic is in the possibly hyperbolic but never author-bashing discussion of it. {= )
~Neshomeh
I found this gem:
"I am Lord Voldemort and I am here to kill your daughter," the man said in a British accent. What Sam couldn't understand was what a British man would want to do with her.
"If you want to kill Sam then why wake us?" asked Sam's mother, her voice quivering with fear.
The biggest issue I have with this thing is how Sam responds to her parents being murdered by Voldemort. First of all, she doesn't even think about trying to stop Voldemort killing them, she just runs. That's not an illogical decision, but it is a pretty heartless one, and surprising, since she claims to have a good relationship with them.
Then, instead of going to the magical authorities, she goes to the Muggle police and whines in the narration about how she can't explain everything to them. ... Why?
I've seen no sign of grief from her yet. She's plenty angry, but she seems to accept the situation well enough, so I dunno if that counts. If the reality of the loss hits her later, she might get a pass on the basis that everyone responds to death differently.
On the plus side, I think the connection that gets her to Hogwarts is fairly solid. I think everyone has a good reason for knowing what they know and not knowing what they don't know. Dumbledore having connections with the heads of other wizarding schools makes sense, and he also has a spy within the Death Eaters, because of course he does. (Calling it now, Harry is Zachary Foote. This seems so transparent I have to wonder if it's not actually a red herring.) And it's established in canon that blood matters, so yoinking Sam across the pond to take advantage of the protection of her family holds up for me.
I was going to question how this works as Harry & co.'s seventh year, but then I realized it was first published in 2006, so there you go. Deathly Hallows hadn't come out yet. That doesn't explain how Sirius Black is still alive, but him coming back from beyond the Veil somehow was a fairly common assumption back in the day.
Unless it really goes off the rails later, I wouldn't PPC this for the simple reason that it's not bad. There are some SPaG errors and I have some questions, but they're not deal-breaking ones for me. Not yet. And if a fic is going to be mission-worthy, it tends to become apparent pretty quickly.
~Neshomeh
I'm honestly not seeing any major red flags, which I didn't expect because I hadn't even glanced at it when I made my previous post. The thing that most grabs my attention is the Halloween costume ball, but only because it bears a weird surface similarity to a bit of the fic I'm currently sporking. The details are rather different. You'll see, hopefully sooner than later. {= )
I'll look at further chapters if I get a chance.
~Neshomeh
Right, so the second link is actually a cover for the actual fic. There’s a link to the fic and it’s author in there, though.
With the title of this post, I was hoping I wasn't going to have to point this out, but for future reference:
It would have been better to add this to your previous thread about badfic. Actually, all three of your new-thread posts could probably have been made as replies to the WBWL post.
The Board isn't moving so quickly that it's a really big deal right now, but there are a limited number of threads that display on the first page, and each new thread pushes an older one off. That's why we discourage posting more than one new thread in a row, especially if they're on the same topic. In this case, adding to existing badfic threads is even mentioned in the Constitution (article 21.5), so please give that another gander, and check out the FAQ: The Board, too.
Also, protip: Avoid typing in all-caps. Nobody likes being shouted at. {= )
Thanks!
~Neshomeh