Subject: And then I reworked all of this into a ConCoun scene.
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Posted on: 2018-10-11 13:37:00 UTC

[We open on the Really Very Tiny Auditorium, currently serving as the meeting-room of the Continuity Council of Gallifrey-in-Exile. The room centres on a large circular table, on one side of which is a not-terribly-large television. Crammed in along the other side are most of the current membership of the Council: Tigereye Castellan Morgan, Citrine Theorist Reader, Sapphire Watcher Disentangler, Amethyst Keeper Agent, Spinel Promotor Notary, and Moonstone Sentry Aviator.]

[The last few notes of the Doctor Who closing theme ring out, and then the Disentangler points a remote at the screen and flicks the TV off.]

Disentangler: Well. What do we think?

Reader: I quite liked it.

Morgan: Do you think we could get our hands on a couple of Gathering Coils? You know, for monitoring purposes. We could probably engineer out their less savoury features…

Agent: That’s you and the Doctor going all crazy-inventor on us; come to think of it, Lachesis tends that way too. Is there something about Time Ladies that predisposes them to mad science?

Aviator: [Raises her hand] Last I checked, I wasn’t ever a mad scientist.

Morgan: [Snorts] Kid, you’re in the PPC. We’re all mad here.

Aviator: ‘Kid’? Excuse me, we’re the same age – or no, I’m fifty years older than you. Just because you met me when I was still a child…

Morgan: That depends entirely on how you count it.

Disentangler: [To the Agent] Oh Rassilon, here we go.

Morgan: [Lecturing tone] Given how perfectly possible it is for us to 'age' hundreds of years while stuck in one place – didn’t the Fisherman put in a couple of decades last year in a badly-handled timeslip? - I've always preferred to count by Gallifreyan timeline. I know you're a bit of a special case-

Reader: Aren’t we all?

Morgan: -but unless you're claiming to have been around for the Sontaran invasion, I claim the right to call you ‘kid’ anyway.

Disentangler: So does that mean I get to be condescending to you, Orange?

Morgan: No.

Agent: No, she’s right; that logically follows from-

Morgan: [Hurriedly] But to be honest I've kind of lost track anyway; my last regeneration was pretty bad at keeping her diary. I feel 400, and that's what counts.

Notary: [To the ceiling] I could kill her now. No record-keeper in history would convict me.

[Morgan shoots a look at the Notary]

Morgan: Anyway. I'm pretty sure the Time Lady who managed to temporarily de-age the entire Continuity Council - somehow, I'm still trying to get to the bottom of that, if only to put a stop to Grey's badgering - doesn't get to deny being a mad scientist.

Aviator: [Cringes] Oh, god, I’d been trying to forget about that. Um… confession time? That was a potion I'd nicked out of a mission. I was supposed to take it to the DMSE&R when Grey ambushed me and dragged me to the Council. So that one wasn't even my doing.

Reader: And no-one blames you for it – do they, Morgan?

Morgan: I mean, it’s still- all right, all right, no.

Reader: See, Aviator? It’s fine.

Aviator: I guess… as for the Sontaran Invasion: alright, no, I wasn't around for that, but neither were a lot of us.

Agent: [Raises hand] I was.

Disentangler: Shh, she’s having a moment.

[The Aviator shoots them a look]

Aviator: [Firmly] I still served three centuries in the Time War and lost one in that loop. So, technically, Morgan, you do have me by a century. Still doesn't make me a child, though, thank you very much.

Notary: [Sniffs] No, Moon Moon, that would be your attitude.

Morgan: [Turning to the Notary] Oh, come on, Grey. It's not even that I disagree with you about certain people acting young (though not so young as Fish, thank Omega), but do you deliberately sit down and think up the most provocative way to say things? Honestly, between you and Green-

[She stops dead. The Aviator winces. The Reader closes her eyes and lowers her head. The Disentangler bites her lip as if to keep from saying something ascerbic.]

Morgan: Oh. Yeah. Between you and... you... I don't know, I've lost track of my sentence. [She sighs] I think I need a drink.

Notary: You say that like you’re ever not in need of a drink.

[The Notary shakes her head slowly]

Notary: In answer to your question, though, I... do that. A lot. I am reliably informed it is a defence mechanism, designed to prevent unwarranted- [She jerks her head to the side] unwanted intimacy on the part of my peers whom otherwise might engender vulnerability in me, which is something I have trained myself to view as abhorrent and unnatural behaviour. It is reflexive, and I am only now learning to reject that reflex, and it is far harder than I am willing to admit. [Thin smile] Can you tell I've been seeing a therapist?

[A brief silence ensues, broken by:]

Agent: Watch out, gang! The Notary's been replaced by a pod person! I’m guessing some sort of shape-shifter? Or a Raxacoricofallapatorian criminal, they like that sort of thing.

Disentangler: [Long-suffering sigh] Oh, come on, Adil, you can see she's trying.

Agent: Hey, I never said I was complaining. I'm all for the pod person; can think of a few other people I'd like to see get the same treatment.

Disentangler: Has it occured to you that bugging her like this is just going to make her stop trying to be... well, I'm not sure if 'nice' is the word...

Agent: Good point! Counterpoint: it's pretty funny when she drives Orange and White up the wall, so what's my motivation for encouraging her to change?

Disentangler: Maybe you're just a good person?

Agent: ... I don't think that sounds like me.

Disentangler: No, forget I said anything.

Notary: [Exaggerated sigh] Yes, obviously I am Jennifer Lawrence caked in blue sludge. Are we actually intending to open this meeting at any point?

Disentangler: I already did that, back before we screened the new Doctor Who. Remember?

Notary: ‘Hey, check this out’ is not an appropriate way to commence a meeting.

Reader: Shouldn’t we wait for Fish to get back, anyway?

Morgan: Yes, where did he run off to, anyway?

Aviator: He said that since he’d already watched the episode, he was going to look for someone… I don’t think he said who.

Notary: Well, if he wanted to be counted present, he should have made sure he was back on time. I move that we-

[A clattering of running feet, and the Fisherman bursts through the door.]

Agent: [To the Disentangler] Do you think she knew that was going to happen?

Disentangler: [To the Agent] Nah, you’re giving her too much credit; it’s just Narrative Comedy again.

Fisherman: [Breathless] I found her! I found her at last! It took forever, but I’ve finally found her!

Morgan: Slow down, Red… found who?

Fisherman: Green! I found Green.

[Once again, the reactions around the table range from the shocked to the resigned to the mildly amused. Morgan glanced round and then leans towards the Fisherman.]

Morgan: Fisherman, Green’s gone; none of us like that, but we have to accept it. There’s no call to go pulling future incarnations of him – or her – out of the timestream; in fact I’m pretty sure it’s directly against the purpose of this Council.

Reader: [Quietly] Yes, but that was the Jade Warden’s responsibility to monitor.

Morgan: So why don’t you take her back, slot her back into her timeline, and we’ll say no more about it?

[The Fisherman looks from Morgan to the Reader in increasing bewilderment]

Fisherman: What in Rassilon’s name are you on about?

[He pulls the door open, and a tall redhead in a Star Trek uniform edges through.]

Fisherman: I found Green. Natalie Green. The missing DORKS Time Lady. Remember?

[Natalie looks over the bewildered Continuity Council and gives a small wave.]

Natalie: Yo. What’s up?




Because these things are crazy fun, and the conversation so far was pretty easy to work into a scene. I've tweaked my claim that Fish lost 200 years - it seemed excessive - but mostly I've let things stand.

'Green' (in most instances) is the Librarian, who retired nearly a year ago. Natalie Green was turned into a Time Lady back in '09 (I think she's actually the very first DORKS Time Lady); she's snarky. The other Time Lords still in HQ that I know of are the Guardsman and the Detective (who are both well-known to the Council, and I think have both turned down offers to join), and Ellie (who is nearly two, but would probably make an adorable Councillor).

I have no idea what happens next, but I'm hoping someone has some good ideas. ^_^

hS

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