Im'ma lose it.

'My Little Unicorn' almost reads like a troll!fic. A troll!fic with decent spelling and grammar, sure, but a troll!fic (or perhaps a parody) nonetheless. And 'Unicornicopia' makes me giggle in an unhealthy way...

Welp, I have some fics to report.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3828663/1/UnisonMage
Set a year after StrikerS. A legacy of ancient Belka left behind, how will section six deal with the new relic and its powers even as mysterious people attempt to attain its powers? Fate centric. Please Read and Review.

Well, it's annoying, but not really terrible. This'd probably make a good training mission for someone. Fate somehow releases a Gary Stu who is a Belkan knight, but doesn't use a device, and has ice magic. Oh, and his name's Poke. To get a sense of what's up with this, have a quote or two:
"Fate, are you sure a six year old kid is suppose to be in this battle?" Questioned Vita.
"Are you taking about yourself Vita." Joked Nanoha as she walked into the clearing with a grinning Vivio in her arms.

Yes, just let the kid with unknown magic and origins who's attacked a teammate in the past train with you! There's no possible way for this to end badly. Also, Nanoha, you are perfectly aware that Vita is far older than you are, and she looks like she's eight, not six, anyways.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8177653/1/The-Avatar-and-the-Mockingjay
"You have no idea what I've been through!" Korra yelled. Katniss couldn't help but give her a smug grin and laugh. "Oh, I know exactly what you've been through,"

Short, but ever so stupid. We just start off with Katniss and Korra yelling at each other. We never get any explanation other than apparently Amon is running Hunger Games now. Seriously, that's it. Then, apparently Korra is a brat for being angry that Katniss is acting like she's a six-year-old. Then Katniss chi-blocks her. No, I'm not kidding.

"Oh, I know exactly what you've been through," She smirked, "living on a safe compound your whole life, free to practice your 'bending', then you get to live in the city for free with a loving family and mentor, be a pro bending hero - and I should feel sorry for you? Everyone on your team deserves the posistion you're in more than you do - even that priss Asami." Korra stared at her wordlessly, feeling the anger bubble within her. She cursed the fact there wasn't a full moon so she could just bloodbend this girl to the next district. Katniss walked to her, until they were toe to toe.
"How dare you call yourself the savior of your people," She growled. That was Korra's breaking point. She let out a breath of fire that Katniss narrowly avoided. The girls went at it, Katniss continuing to narrowly avoid Korra's bending moves until Katniss got a hold of her hands. She used a chi blocking move she had been taught earlier, rendering Korra defenseless. Korra lied on her stomach, Katniss straddling her back. She leaned down close to her ear, just so she could hear her.
"How do you expect to save your people, your benders, when you can't even defend yourself from me?" Katniss stormed out of the room. Korra was able to pull herself up after a moment. While her muscles ached from the jabs Katniss had dealt to her, what hurt more was that she knew she was right - she had failed as the Avatar.

Gorram it, Katniss.

And that's not even the worst thing. Not by a long shot. By the same Suethor:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8145681/1/A-Teenage-Girls-Guide-to-Sex-Slavery
"When it happened to me, I did not believe it. I have heard of it happening it to other girls. Girls who are taken and shipped off to far away lands. But it seemed like such a distant problem." Alternate story posted as Ch 2, takes place post episode 8

Korra and Asami are kidnapped into sex slavery and raped. Gods below, I am not making ANY of this up. This disgusts me. And you know what? It's. Rated. T. Also, the entire second chapter is just a copy of the first one.

<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7469993/1/WarBadBloodandBetrayal">http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7469993/1/WarBadBloodand_Betrayal
Ben and his friends are now retired. The Plumbers now focus on peace-keeping operations and training new recruits, but when TSAB ships begins attacking one of the largest Plumber bases on Earth, war became inevitable. Who shall succeed?
So! The TSAB decides that its whole, let civilizations develop, protect worlds from the threat of magitech weapons, and keep the peace is for losers. They just start an all-out invasion of Earth because it's Monday and they're bored. Seriously, this fic has no freaking idea how the TSAB works. At all. And, while we're on the subject of complete misrepresentation of a peaceful organization...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6966278/1/TSAB-DOWNFALL-Halo-War
The TSAB has changed for the worse, the Ace of Aces tries to defeat them but fails. Now she has been changed by this, physically and mentally, and knows that she will need help in the battle, luckily she finds a dimension that has what she needs.
This thing. Screw this thing. This thing, I think, might be the Rainbow Factory of Nanoha fanfiction. Let's look at some character in Nanoha, shall we?
First off: Fate Testarossa Harlaown. She is one the kindest women in the series. She is gentle, and patient, and modest. She specifically works with cases involving children, because as a child she was abused and was part of a magical experiment, and so she is often the only one able to talk down kids who would, say, electrify anyone who came near them. In StrikerS, she adopts a little girl named Vivio, and--here, I'm gonna give you a clip (warning: Fate, the blond woman, is in her underwear)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHywA1KsYlU
In this fic, she tortures a woman, tortures her friend, in front of that little girl. Violently and for a long period of time. Anyone see the problem there?

Let's look at a different character: Takamachi Nanoha herself. She's one of the most moral characters I've ever had the pleasure of watching. She is kind, but she will still beat the friendship into you if you are hurting people. There's a moment in the first season of Nanoha that I think pretty much encapsulates her character: She's fighting Vita, who, the last time they met, beat her into the ground. Before they even start fighting, she asks Vita what her name is, introduces herself, and asks why Vita is doing what she's doing. She says that, if Vita has a good reason, she's help her with what she's doing.

In this fic, she kills people. She kills soldiers, she kills commanders, she even helps launch a bombing on a city. And you know what? She doesn't kill Fate. She walks in on Fate torturing Schach, in front of her daughter, and just KO's her. Here's a quote:
What worried them was that she appeared to be ready to kill her former comrades, who currently formed the Elite core of the TSAB's forces.
She responded by saying:
"If we do fight, I will hurt them but not kill them, I will just make it so they can't fight anymore, as for the enforcers, if they try to kill me ….
… I WILL kill them."
That's right. She'll let torturers go free, because they're her friends, but will only kill soldiers because she doesn't know their names. And the story just acts like this is a perfectly moral thing to do.

And you know what? This story has no idea--it's even worse than that Ben 10 one in terms of knowledge. The TSAB is apparently overthrown in a coup, but the new leaders don't lose control of any of the planets, and no one--not Lindy, not Hayate, not Chrono, ever decide to leave the TSAB to help Nanoha. The TSAB releases Jail Scaglietti--one of those 'Elite Core' people is a girl named Ginga Nakajima. Scaglietti BRAINWASHED her in StrikerS and made her almost kill her sister. Guess she forgot about that.

MILKSHAKE by Konata101
America demonstrates a very special talent of his to Japan and England. UK/Japan/US, HARDCORE YAOI LEMON, and erotic Male Lactation. READ AND REVIEW, OR ELSE.

MEIN EYESSSSSSSS. I JUST. I CAN'T.
Well, there goes my quiet evening with sushi and miso soup.

Dimension Witch... I'm straining to think of the right fandom now. If it's Witch World, I may shoot something.

People. The objects of verbs are important.