. . . I almost had to read every line you quoted from the badfic in a duller-than-Ben-Stein voice, the wording was so stilted and expressionless. Kudos to both of you for slogging through this.

I like how Kilroy's absence due to being in a certain other, currently unpublished mission is referenced in the beginning here. Aside from tying things together with a clear timeline, it gives all the agents involved in both a greater feeling of autonomy, since we see them functioning with a greater cast of PPC characters than in most spinoffs.

There was one scene I couldn't quite formulate in my mind. It's in the beginning, when Mike is shooting the targets on the wall while Tanya reads the mission report. Mike then turns to speak to Tanya, and is looking over her shoulder while firing, and Tanya has to duck under the line of fire. But . . . when I look over my shoulder while pretending to hold a gun, my arms don't wind up aiming anywhere remotely near where my head is facing. It seems to me the only way for Mike to end up shooting near Tanya here is to have swiveled her entire upper torso around.

One other, minor detail: when Jeanne starts to attack the Alucard replacement, the narration briefly refers to her as Mike. (Mike closed the remaining distance between . . . ) Since Jeanne seems not to identify as Mike in the scene immediately after, I thought this might be a mistake.

I giggled like crazy when the sue screamed "YOU DIE NOW" at Alucard.

"TODAY! IS THE DAY! IN WHICH YOU SHALL PERISH!"

*runs Generic Mook through with a Justice Sword if Justicey Truthiness*

Come on. I can't be the only guy who thought that. Or something like that.

Oh my, poor Mike and Tanya got another one of those Sues that think "state" is the only way to have a person say something. Jay and Acacia would know all about that!

I rather enjoyed the French exclamations. They made me happy. Only one note have I, and it has to do with how Tanya nodded at one point. "Tanya nodded, once and sharply." The wording seemed just a teensy bit...off to me, but maybe that's just personal preference...