"Please don't." (Let me know if this doesn't work.)

Subject: "Please don't." (Let me know if this doesn't work.)
Author: S.M.F.
Posted on: 2019-06-11 17:00:00 UTC

At a table that was neither in a corner nor, in Agent Peri's opinion, nearly far enough from the probably-dangerous boardgame, Agent Leo was bothering his partner.

"I'm telling you, I'm going to do it." The taller dark-skinned man leaned partway over the table, almost vibrating in excitement.

"Agent Leofric, you are not going to table-flip their game of Jumanji. For one, even if it is not the 'real deal', it would be extremely rude. For another-"

Of course, that was when when the ground erupted. Peri startled, whipping around to grab an appropriate non-lethal weapon from their backpack.

Unfortunately, in that time Leofric had darted over to the board game and its audience.

"Use your plates as shields!" he shouted - because that was when the rain started.

It wasn't acid rain, but it smelled very unpleasant.

"Here, let me have a turn."

Flinging the various upturned animals away with cutlery, he aimed one that seemed large enough to hit the dice, issuing a softer "Sorry, Alex!" in the process.

Two and three.

The purple piece moved again as new words appeared:

Although you are in the jungle
You hear, you feel, the ocean's rumble.

[Purple: 14. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 5. (Teal: 17). Orange up.]

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Let's play Jumanji! by Huinesoron on 2019-06-11 11:02:00 UTC Reply

In the far reaches of the PPC General Store, beyond the shelves we know, something lurked. Dust-covered, lit only by flickering fluorescence, it waited for a foolhardy adventurer, an outstretched hand, the curiousity that would kill not only the cat, but the dog and budgie too. It was patient; it could wait for years, decades if it had to-

"Oh, cool!"

Agent Kaitlyn grabbed the box off the shelf and waved it at her partner. "This is like that film, right? The Robin Williams one? I love that."

Agent Selene paused in her search through the clothing section (she refused to say what she was looking for). "I think there's a sequel now," she said. "A computer game or something."

"Well, this isn't that." Kaitlyn turned the box over and studied the picture. "Definitely the original. I'm getting it!"

"As long as you don't expect me to play it with you." Selene pushed a rack of coats aside and peered through. "Oh, someone stuck a lamppost and some fake snow back here, how droll... Kaitlyn?"

Kaitlyn was already gone, heading for the tills with a determined expression. Five minutes later, she was on her way to the Cafeteria - and in the way of things at HQ, a crowd of curious and foolhardy agents was already forming behind her...

Let's play Jumanji! Here's our gameboard:

We have two teams in play, and since red and blue always get the attention, I've made them purple and orange. There are also two pieces already on the board, mysteriously fixed in place: yellow is on its space 11, and teal on its space 17 (which is also orange's space 24). The board in the picture isn't exactly symmetrical, but for the purposes of our game, each track crosses another on its spaces 17, 22, 24, and 31. You cross the player to your right on the first two, and the player to your left on the latter two. Purple and orange will never cross (if they stay in their tracks).

The goal is simple: be the first team to reach space 33, ie the centre. On your turn you roll two six-sided dice, and move the number of spaces given. As the board says, doubles gets another turn. Play goes clockwise, if there are ever more than two players.

But... this is Jumanji. It was never as simple as that.

To take a turn:

-Post a story segment reacting to what's just happened. Don't write other people's characters except as part of a crowd (eg, 'everyone ran away' or 'the Purple team were engulfed by bees'). Exceptions: free-to-use characters are, y'know, free to use, and for the purposes of this game only, anyone can write Agent Kaitlyn. Ultimately, someone on the active team should get hold of the dice and roll them.

-Give the two-line poem which appears in the middle of the board after the piece is moved. This (and more particularly its effects) will be for the next player to react to.

-Give the current state of the board and whose turn is up.

A given agent should stay on the same team unless a reason to switch crops up, but a Boarder can play agents on multiple teams. Try not to monopolize the game though! Permission is not required. (And I'm only starting the game off and participating; there's no plan, so do whatever comes to mind.)

Turn 1 [purple]

"A game for those who seek to find, a way to leave their world behind." Kaitlyn bounced on her knees, grinning wildly. "This is going to be so much fun!"

Timbledim, a nurse from Medical's Emergency Division, peered over her shoulder. "Is it really a good idea, though?" he asked, looking as though he wished he had a beard to fidget with or spectacles to polish. "I don't like the look of those stuck pieces..."

"It'll be fine!" Kaitlyn picked up the dice and shook them; they made a hollow sound as they rattled in her hand. "It's just a board game, right? What could possible go wrong-"

A collective groan rose from the assembled agents, and Kaitlyn scowled at the lot of them. "That's worse than usual for this place, I was going to say; honestly, how genre-unsavvy do you think I am?"

"Hanging a lampshade on it doesn't make it less dangerous," Agent Aella muttered, then raised her voice. "I said, hanging a lampshade-"

"No need for the RDR here!" Kaitlyn winked at her to take the edge off, then flicked her wrist and sent the dice spinning across the board. "And here... we... go!"

The ivory cubes came down with a click: a three and a six. The purple piece slid smoothly along its path. And in the crystal at the centre of the board, ghostly words appeared:

If you sit upon the ground
Beware what underneath is found...

[Purple: 9. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 0. (Teal: 17). Orange up.]

hS

"Can you hear that?" by Iximaz on 2019-06-11 14:35:00 UTC Reply

Charlotte had thought this was a bad idea. A terrible, horrible, no-good very, very bad idea, but she felt she owed Kaitlyn (even though this technically was her volunteering to play rather being roped in as part of the favor she owed).

Now, though, she was beginning to regret asking as the ground underneath them began trembling.

Technician Alex Dives gulped and reached up to lightly scritch his blue fire-lizard's eye ridges. "Shh, Zeke," he murmured. "It's alright."

"You have seen the movie before, right?" Charlotte demanded.

"Only once," Alex admitted. "And I was just a kid, then, so—"

He was cut off when the ground erupted and out poured a swarm of beetles, earthworms, ants, and—

"SPIDERS!" Charlotte screamed, jumping up and tripping over her feet. In her haste to get away, coupled with a healthy dose of sheer terror, she'd forgotten she wasn't a vampire anymore.

Zeke screeched and took flight, circling anxiously above the game board as Alex grit his teeth and pressed through the swarm to grab the dice.

One and four. The orange piece moved ahead and words appeared in the center.

Now turn your faces to the sky
Unless you'd rather keep them dry.

[Purple: 9. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 5. (Teal: 17). Purple up.]

"Please don't." (Let me know if this doesn't work.) by S.M.F. on 2019-06-11 17:00:00 UTC Reply

At a table that was neither in a corner nor, in Agent Peri's opinion, nearly far enough from the probably-dangerous boardgame, Agent Leo was bothering his partner.

"I'm telling you, I'm going to do it." The taller dark-skinned man leaned partway over the table, almost vibrating in excitement.

"Agent Leofric, you are not going to table-flip their game of Jumanji. For one, even if it is not the 'real deal', it would be extremely rude. For another-"

Of course, that was when when the ground erupted. Peri startled, whipping around to grab an appropriate non-lethal weapon from their backpack.

Unfortunately, in that time Leofric had darted over to the board game and its audience.

"Use your plates as shields!" he shouted - because that was when the rain started.

It wasn't acid rain, but it smelled very unpleasant.

"Here, let me have a turn."

Flinging the various upturned animals away with cutlery, he aimed one that seemed large enough to hit the dice, issuing a softer "Sorry, Alex!" in the process.

Two and three.

The purple piece moved again as new words appeared:

Although you are in the jungle
You hear, you feel, the ocean's rumble.

[Purple: 14. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 5. (Teal: 17). Orange up.]

The sandwiches were already getting soggy from the rain. by doctorlit on 2019-06-13 05:06:00 UTC Reply

Then the side wall of the Cafeteria sloughed down with a splash into an expanse of water that was, rather suddenly, there. A wave hit the edge of the generic floor, completely drenching the sandwiches that two students had snuck in to eat.

Wilma glowered as her sandwich dissolved between her hands. "Um. Seriously. Seriously?"

"You'd think the adults around this place would know better," said Anne, letting her own sandwich splat onto the table.

Wilma put both hands on the table and stood up, in a somehow violent manner. "They should leave the games to us kids! I'm going to finish this myself!"

"That's probably not a good—aaaaand she's gone." Anne grimaced for a moment, then stood and followed after her friend.

By the time Anne caught up, Wilma had already seized the dice and rolled: two and two. The orange piece moved, and the next message appeared.

A feathered cacophony all around
Guard your ears against the sound

[Purple: 14. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 9. (Teal: 17). Orange up.]

—doctorlit 's spellcheck doesn't think "snuck" is a word

[Orange turn] "Oh no--!" by Huinesoron on 2019-06-13 16:45:00 UTC Reply

Kaitlyn had just enough time to slap her hands over her ears before a kaleidoscope of birds exploded out of the ceiling. These weren't simply Earth birds, either, but a collection from across dozens of canons.

"This was a bad idea!" Kaitlyn shouted, as an angry-looking Zapdos screeched at a bewildered ostrich amid the flood. "This was a bad idea!"

"I think possibly I might have actually said that," Aella yelled back, and snatched up the dice. "Doubles means you go again, right? Right, and repeating things is my whole job now."

She flicked her wrist, and the dice tumbled across the rain-soaked board. The nearest agents just had enough time to see them settle out as a 4 and 1 before-

-Clatter!-

-a small and rather frantic-looking green parrot snatched them up in its claws and headed for the door.

"Oh, what?!"

And the poem ghosted into view, unheeded...

Five you rolled, and five you'll need
If you'd escape the Tyrant's greed

[Purple: 14. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 14. (Teal: 17). Purple up.]

hS

You leave him alone, he's just looking for some purple fruit (nm by Scapegrace on 2019-06-13 23:41:00 UTC Reply

You spotted it! ^_^ by Huinesoron on 2019-06-14 08:51:00 UTC Reply

'Purple up' indeed.

hS

Â“Zeke, fetch!Â” by Iximaz on 2019-06-13 20:29:00 UTC Reply

Alex pointed frantically at the parrot, and the little blue fire-lizard darted after it, snapping at the parrot’s tail feathers.

They collided in midair and tussled, green and blue turning over and over as they tumbled to the ground. Alex lunged and caught them before they hit concrit and wrested the dice from the parrot’s talons, which garnered him a few scratches for his trouble.

There was a loud roar, and a very large, very hungry lion slunk into view.

“Tyrant,” Charlotte said faintly. “King of the jungle. Right.” She tapped her necklace, which she’d stolen off a Sue, and a sword expanded in her hand. “Nice kitty?”

“Who’s on purple team?!” Alex screamed over the cacophony, holding up the dice. “I don’t think this thing’s as nice as Zeb!”

Kat dashed towards the table. by Snowblaze on 2019-06-14 12:55:00 UTC Reply

She knew that the only way to avoid an even bigger catastrophe was to end this game as soon as possible, and that meant playing.

Keeping one careful eye on the lion, she announced breathlessly: "I'll go!"

"That's a very bad idea," said Edward, as he walked up behind her.

Kat shrugged and snatched the dice from Alex. Without pausing, she rolled them gently onto the table. Four and three.

Another poem appeared in the middle of the board as the purple piece shifted forward seven spaces.

Darkness falls upon the jungle,
And out of the earth rises something fungal

Kat reached up and pulled a feather out of her hair. It might not work on the lion, but it was worth a try.

She held the feather in one outstretched arm and looked directly at the lion. "C-cast your eyes upon this feather," she tried to say, but she knew at once it hadn't worked. The lion growled and to her horror, Kat saw it crouch, preparing to spring...

[Purple: 21. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 14. (Teal: 17). Orange up.]

Unfortunately for the lion, by doctorlit on 2019-06-16 16:41:00 UTC Reply

he had started his spring over one of the cracks that had erupted with bugs earlier. Now, a burst of dust spewed upwards from the crack, and the lion started, shaking his mane and sneezing. Immediately, shelf fungus of a sickly yellow color began growing across the lion's fur.

"Oh, ew!" yelled Wilma. "That's super nasty-looking!"

As the lion's face became covered in growths, he made chuffing noises and tried to rub them fungi off with a front paw, which itself became covered. He clumsily began staggering around, making spores drift off him to the ground. He nearly trampled a trio of plovers, which began pipping in panic as they, too, became hosts to the shelf fungus.

"Oh, jeeze," said Anne. As she ran for the dice, she yelled out to the room, "Everybody, stay away from those mushroomy animals!" She rolled while muttering, "Gotta tell the grown-ups these things, otherwise they get themselves hurt . . ."

Five and three. The orange piece slid forward eight, and the smoky ball said:

Soil spills, creatures flee, tree trunks crash
The sky is dry, yet water arrives in a flash

[Purple: 21. (Yellow: 11) Orange: 22. (Teal: 17). Purple up.]

—doctorlit apologizes for deus ex machin-ing the lion, but he doesn't think we stood much of a chance against an adult big cat with the cast we have assembled . . .

^ [Should be "Purple up."] (nm) by doctorlit on 2019-06-13 05:06:00 UTC Reply

Nope, it's orange. Doubles roll again. :) (nm) by Huinesoron on 2019-06-13 09:42:00 UTC Reply

Clearly, I need to re-watch Jumanji! (nm) by doctorlit on 2019-06-13 12:57:00 UTC Reply