Subject: !!! The WORLDBUILDING. The CHARACTER BUILDING. The PARALLELS
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Posted on: 2019-06-02 17:57:00 UTC
Now, if my birthday presents had all been more like this, I could be content. =P
Thank you for writing, Cousin!
One thing to know about me is that I'm extremely susceptible to AUs. I've always loved them, and it's very, very easy to get me to start developing them.
Over the past couple years or so, I've been coming up with increasingly more AU versions of Jacques. He's strangely easy to make AUs for--maybe because he himself is something of an AU.
Put them together and what have you got? Well, you've already seen the subject line, so you know: Young Wizards-verse AU. Last night, Delta Juliette asked if there was already a YW Jacques; I said there wasn't, since I read the series long enough so it never occurred to me. Discussion ensued, and then six-ish pages of writing happened.
And so I bring it to you now: the (unbetaed) tale of two wizards named Jacques and Dawn facing off against the Lone Power. Warning for violence and some description/discussion of it--T or so, maybe a little higher. Comments and concrit welcome, particularly on YW elements and characterization.
(Also, Jacques' manual is his wrist strap. It just makes sense. Dawn's is quite likely a book or her laptop, though I'm not sure.)
~Z
That was really solid. The LP's gleeful malevolence was bone-chilling, and I love Dawn's charging into the confrontation without really thinking through the consequences.
The one thing it leaves me wondering is how death-proof Jacques is afterwards. Is he going to do the full Harkness immortality? Or just narrow scrapes after scrapes? That wasn't clear to my reading.
And, I blame you for this.
After just about the same set of discussions, 6k-ish words of writing happened, leaving me now having written more of these two in an AU than the prime multiverse.
For those who don't hang around the Discord, Prime!Sarah is a phoenix from Skin Deep who is only recently coming to grips with not being human, and Prime!Talia is a slightly-modified human from Trekverse, with an aquatic bent.
Do I detect a bit of reading going on in the background? I feel like you've been poking through Deep Wizardry recently (though the 'trapped' sequence also has resonances with Equal Rites).
Also, you may be pleased to know that technically, Young Wizards takes place in the Star Trek canon, due to Diane Duane namedropping the Song of the Twelve in one of her Trek novels. ^_^ So Talia isn't all that far from home.
(Also also also, is this like the third Agent Talia we've got? How is that the name that pops through as HQ's most popular?!)
hS
There was definitely borrowing from the canonical whale-wizards for Talia's people, and reference back to the book on the mechanics and perils of shapechanging. I wouldn't be surprised to know that I accidentally adopted a theme or two, too.
We've got Alex Bjørnsen, Alex Dives, Alex Orange, Alex Warren, Alec Troven, and Alec Trevelyan... Lots of 'em.
Now, if my birthday presents had all been more like this, I could be content. =P
Thank you for writing, Cousin!
I've always loved manipulation of the rules of magic to pull off an unexpected result, and this is a brilliant example. I love how you used Jacques' POV to feed the reader limited information, so we can learn and be amazed-slash-horrified along with him.
I have to wonder what kind of price Dawn will have to pay for that trick, though. It sounds an awful lot like a Blank Cheque spell, and those are weighty things to be tossing around.
The rest of the story is also good. At the risk of sounding slightly disturbing, the description of the violence is perfectly pitched - not too gory, but also not too squeamish.
hS
I approve of this general trend~
Well, you didn't waste any time getting right to it, did you? Scary stuff! I was not prepared. Kinda made me want to hide under a blanket.
This is a good thing. {= )
I don't have much to say with regards to canon, because it's been a long time since I read the books myself, but it seems to fit well enough. I'm not sure if the confrontation was meant to be an Ordeal or regular errantry (if you can call it that), but I'm guessing the latter? The LP isn't guaranteed to be involved anywhere except an Ordeal (unless your name is Callahan or Rodriguez), but it just doesn't give me that vibe, I think because Jacques doesn't read as young enough to be on his Ordeal.
Oh, minor note, but IIRC, the PTBs always get capitalized pronouns in the books.
I like the inclusion of the Doctor and Rose. It's always amused me that the Doctor exists in the YWverse, which makes this AU practically compulsory. {= )
~Neshomeh
Hey, if I've elicited emotions with my writing (in a positive sense), then that's a win.
I, uh, hadn't actually even remembered the term "errantry" while I wrote this, but no, it's definitely not an Ordeal. I was thinking of errantry without the term, so we'll go with that.
As for ages, my thought while writing was that Jacques was in his thirties and Dawn was in her twenties. He's...I don't know if he's the more experienced wizard, but he's the one who's done a lot more running around having adventures. Dawn's mostly stuck to her own planet and had fewer daring missions. How exactly they met I have no idea--presumably they bumped into each other on one of their planets or a different one altogether. After that, they kept hanging out and started traveling together (working together? Probably working together as well on more than just this last bit). Anyway, that's speculation for another time.
They do? I suppose that makes sense. I'll go in and correct it at some point.
I had this whole idea of who the Doctor could be in this YW AU, only to be told he was already in there! I really need to get a bit more information on the details of how that works. In the meantime, hey! Filled in a missing piece of sorts :D Or, at least, one way it could go.
~Z
That ending was... wow. Just wow. Right in the feels.
Absolutely spectacular AU, Zing—I might just have to play in this world sometime.
Specifically, one for Doktor Trollenfisch und Gabrielle.
More on this as it develops.