> Wait for Agent Apple to exorcise you

Subject: > Wait for Agent Apple to exorcise you
Author: Huinesoron
Posted on: 2020-01-27 15:55:46 UTC

Another minute passes before Agent Apple comes back with a man dressed in black leather pants and a tattered white shirt.

((hS: The game actually got a bit confused here and quoted her returning with the Sue again first. I've clipped that out, but not reverted it, because this is too good!))

> Say "Are the Elves In Black Leather going to help exorcise me?"

You say "Are the Elves In Black Leather going to help exorcise me?" The man smiles and says "Of course, we've been working on this project for years now. We just need a human sacrifice."

((hS: O.O. Though I guess that's pretty on-point for OFUM. Um... if we're Sue-influenced, can we really offer our Twu Wuv up to be sacrificed?

((Sure we can! We Suvians care only for ourselves.))

> Say "All right, Lord Elrond, you can sacrifice the Mary Sue to exorcise me."

You say "All right, Lord Elrond, you can sacrifice the Mary Sue to exorcise me." The man laughs and says "Well I'm sure your mother will appreciate that one more than we do." He puts his arm around the woman and kisses her on the lips.

((hS: DANGIT she got to Elrond!))

The story so far

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AI Dungeon... er, Mission! by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 09:20:32 UTC Reply

AI Dungeon is the apex of modern artificial intelligence: a text adventure game randomly generated by a neural net, but with an actual decent memory. As in, if you leave a room and then go back in, there's a decent chance the person you talked to will still be there!

I know, right?

The game (available online and for both Apple and Android) is built on OpenAI's GPT-2, which was trained on 'every link that got more than 3 up votes on Reddit'. So it knows about almost everything. The game wants to be a fantasy RPG, but tell it it's something else and it will believe you - even if that something is a PPC mission.

AI Dungeon will take any text as input. You could respond to being told you're under attack by saying '>draw sword' - or you could respond with '>draw picture of Harry Potter and become world-famous fan-artist'. It'll do its best to comply. "Quotes" or >say etc are parsed as dialogue, and from experience I've found that it struggles with instructions containing 'my' or 'your', and can easily lose track if you try to hold long conversations.

So let's take a run at it. I generated a custom prompt (in bold) , which the game took and ran with. I've then >given it its first few instructions, it's replied, and you can take it from here. Just stick your command in a post and I'll feed it to the game.

~~~

You are Agent Orange, a member of the PPC. You are in your Response Center. Your partner, Agent Apple, is in the next room. Your console is making a loud beeping noise. "What's that?" you ask. "Is it something important? I'll have to talk with my team."

"No, nothing like that," says Agent Apple. "It just means we're ready for action."

hS comments: We're off to a strong start here! Excellent pre-mission banter. These are my non-gender-specific agents, previously the stars of the Playscriptes.

> Check the mission details on the console

The console shows the current mission status:

Mission Status: The operation has been successful and all objectives have been met. All personnel are accounted for and safe.

Your team is waiting outside the city gates.

hS comments: So either Intelligence are meeting us in the mission for some reason, or this is a summary of the badfic? Either way, we should get to those city gates.

> Check what canon the city is in.

You look at the map and see that the city is in a state of chaos. There are several factions fighting each other for control over this place. You can't imagine how much worse things will get when the first shots start flying...

hS comments: That's not very specific. 'Fandom' might have been a better word to use; maybe you can find out later. For now, let's go generic.

> Set your disguises for Generic Fantasy

You put on your disguise as Generic Fantasy. It takes some effort, but you manage to pull it off.

hS comments: Cool, we're all set. Remember, the AI doesn't actually know what's going on - it's going to need some heavy prompting to make this mission a success. Try to keep it on track - try to keep it PG-13, because you can guess what an AI trained on the Internet will be like if you don't - and have fun!

> Use the console to open a portal to the city gates

You use the console to open a portal to the city gates. You step through into an empty street. A few people watch you from their windows. They don't seem too concerned about you being here or if they should be.

hS & GPT-2

Post-mortem: that didn't go great, did it? by Huinesoron on 2020-02-03 16:16:50 UTC Reply

So, how did that go? (Um, spoilers in the subject line...!) My goal was to see if the PPC could collaboratively create a coherent mission through AI dungeon, and we managed... one of those.

The mission is certainly coherent. It glitches at times, but with only minimal editing it would be 100% cohesive. The plot is weird, but not too weird for the PPC.

But the collaborative side... other than me, a total of five Boarders took part in the thread, and of those five, SMF and 4Moons posted entirely random lines, while NeoSkater's only line used was directly suggested by me. Even while SRPA and doc were contributing, I wound up writing 2-3 prompts for each of theirs.

And that's all mostly my fault. I should have made the compiled story available right from the start, so people could jump in without having to read the whole thread. I should have made it clearer at the beginning that the goal was to see how the AI could be wacky and random while we tried to be sensible at it. I should probably have put in a 'no more than 2 prompts in a row' rule; we ended up with 2 people making huge blocks of contributions, which is great for the story, but not great for getting people involved in the thread. Really, I needed to be clearer about what I was hoping to do right at the start. And I should have held back on my own 'pushing the story' prompts in favour of letting other people speak.

But setting all that aside... I can't help but feel disappointed at how flat this all fell. I guess a lot of it comes down to the fact that there was no way for anyone to contribute except as the next person to prompt, which means if I haven't posted, there's nothing at all to do. Like I said to 4Moons, it would probably be a lot better suited to the Discord, where you could get instant responses. Maybe you can all have some fun with it over there.

Here's the complete story, which I will put up on my website at some point.

hS
>Start dancing the Harlem Shake by S.M.F. on 2020-01-21 15:12:52 UTC Reply

Maybe everyone else will do it too, and draw the Sue out!

> Start dancing the Harlem Shake by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 16:12:43 UTC Reply

You start dancing the Harlem Shake. You look around and see a lot of people staring at you, but nobody seems to care about what you're doing.

The next day, you wake up in a strange house with no memory of where you came from.

hS comment:... this mission is not going well. Let's give it a prompt.

> See Agent Apple and ask who she is

You see Agent Apple and ask who she is. She smiles and tells you that she's an agent of the government and that you're going to be transferred to a new location soon.

hS comment: So she's lying to us? Or... wait... the Sue looked just like us. :O Are we the Sue now?

> Ask Agent Apple "Am I the Mary Sue?"

You ask Agent Apple "Am I the Mary Sue?" She nods her head and says yes. You then ask if she knows where you are and she tells you that she doesn't know either.

A few days pass by and eventually you get a call on your cell phone.

hS comment: Oh no! We've been brain swapped with the Sue, AND we're stranded in an unknown Canon! At least someone is calling us... I strongly suggest you use something like '>Answer the call from Makes-Things/the Sunflower Official/Agent Luxury/the DIA/whoever' to let the AI know where we should be going, otherwise this will probably be the government on the line. And nobody wants that.

hS

>Answer the call from the DIA by Neo Skater on 2020-01-21 18:20:13 UTC Reply

Maybe they sensed, somehow, that Agent Orange was an amnesiac now.

> Answer the phone call from the DIA by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 21:13:34 UTC Reply

You answer the phone call from the DIA. They explain that they have been watching you since you were born and that they need to transfer you to another facility as soon as possible. They also mention that there is a Mary Sue living in your area.

hS comment: So the DIA is going to study us, but there's another Sue? Hey, maybe she's in our original body! In which case, we can:

> Search the nearby houses for the Mary Sue

You search the nearby houses for the Mary Sue. You find one with a young girl who looks like you, so you assume that she must be the Mary Sue.

hS comment: There she is, the body thief! Also confirming that we are female, so this story matches the Radio Plays in making both Apple and Orange girls.

hS

>interrogate the girl by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-21 23:16:26 UTC Reply

Thanks Huinesoron, for the… 5th time!

> Interrogate the girl by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 23:46:58 UTC Reply

You interrogate the girl. She seems to be very happy when you talk to her and gives you a lot of information about herself.

She lives in a small town called "Little Town" (Which sounds really weird) and she works part time at a carnival as a clown.

hS comment: That was honestly more usable than I expected. Remember, the AI doesn't have a clue what story we're telling. >instructions which also feed it information about what we want to appear in the story - like the DIA, or the Sue herself - are going to help keep us on track.

Right now we have a body-stealing clown Sue from Little Town. Go wild.

> Pull 200 hats out of nowhere. by Four Moons Watching on 2020-01-22 05:10:26 UTC Reply

In my experience with AI Dungeon, that never fails to liven things up.

Oh cool, you've played it to? by Huinesoron on 2020-01-22 09:05:39 UTC Reply

It really is a fun toy, isn't it? ^_^

Soooo... do you think you could take over the thread for me? I was able to make (well, steal) time from work to run a 'AI PPC mission' story, but it seems people are having more fun exploring what AI Dungeon can do, and that's a much bigger time investment that I can't really make. If you (or someone else?) could start up a new scenario so folks could throw random prompts at it and see how it copes - either in a broadly PPC scenario or not, up to you - I think it would be a lot of fun.

(Come to think of it, that sounds like something the Discord would enjoy, too, and real-time chat would make it go a lot quicker.)

hS

>File a Court case with the Sue on the grounds of being a Sue by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-21 23:50:47 UTC Edited Reply

Thanks Huinesoron, for, 1,2,3,4,5,6th! Time!

>Read the Sue’s charge list by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-22 09:28:38 UTC Reply

Thanks Huinesoron, for the seventh time?

Okay, that might work. by Huinesoron on 2020-01-22 13:25:06 UTC Reply

I assume Agent Apple has been compiling one, since we certainly haven't.

> Read the Sue's charge list

You read the Sue's charge list. It includes all sorts of things such as: 1) A person who can only do simple tasks. 2) Someone who cannot think for themselves. 3) Someone who will not listen to reason or any other authority figure.

((hS comment: Good work, Agent Apple. With the bodysnatching, I think we've got enough to do the Duty. Let's read this out:))

> Say "Mary Sue, you are charged with stealing my body, ignoring canonical authority figures, and being unable to think for yourself."

You say "Mary Sue, you are charged with stealing my body, ignoring canonical authority figures, and being unable to think for yourself." The girl gasps and starts crying. She runs off screaming while you stand there looking shocked.

After this incident, you never speak to anyone ever again.

((hS comment: I'm not sure letting a Suvian get away was serious enough to justify a vow of silence, but sure, why not?))

> Gesture to Agent Apple to hunt the Mary Sue down

You gesture to Agent Apple to hunt the Mary Sue down. She nods her head and leaves immediately after saying "Yes Sir!"

Agent Apple is a little disappointed that you didn't go along with her plan, but she understands. You don't want to be associated with someone like that anyway.

((hS: Her plan was for the DIA to take us away! Danged right we don't want to associate with them.))

> Pull out phone and research how to reverse a body-swap

You pull out your phone and start researching how to reverse a body swap. After some searching, you come across a website that shows pictures of people who have had their bodies swapped with others. It also has a link to the page where you can download the program that does it.

((hS: Great, there's an app for that! We just need our partner to bring our body back and we can swap into it and kill the Suvian at last.))

>You forget to check the app whether it’s malware, and you search the same app for malware by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-22 22:31:33 UTC Reply

What I’m trying to say is that you forgot to check the body swap app for malware, so you are trying to find out whether it is malware or not.

Thanks Huinesoron for the 8th time!

~SomeRandomPersonAccount

> Remember safety is important, so search the Internet to see if the app is malware. by Huinesoron on 2020-01-23 12:26:01 UTC Edited Reply

Here is the story so far, for anyone who wants to join in without trying to untangle this thread.

You remember safety is important, so you search the Internet to see if the app is malware. You find several sites that warn against downloading such an application. However, you decide to try it anyway because you're curious what would happen.

((The AI is in full 'yes, and' mode, so we're lucky it gave us an excuse to use the app anyway.))

> Wait for Agent Apple to return with the Mary Sue

You wait for Agent Apple to return with the Mary Sue. When she arrives, you hand over the phone and she tells you to hold on while she downloads the program.

A few minutes later, Agent Apple returns with a woman wearing a purple dress and long hair.

((This is presumably the Mary Sue in our body. Agent Apple has the app, so I guess we're ready to swap back?))

hS & GPT-2

Activate the app to switch my body with the Mary Sue's. by doctorlit on 2020-01-27 01:58:11 UTC Reply

~~"Huh. There really is an app for everything!"~~

—doctorlit, continuing?

> Activate the app to switch your body with the Mary Sue's by Huinesoron on 2020-01-27 08:48:04 UTC Edited Reply

You activate the app to switch your body with the Mary Sue's. As soon as you touch her, her face turns into yours and everything changes back to normal.

The two of you smile at each other and then kiss. Then, you both fall asleep together.

((The story so far))

((hS:...))

((hS: I think the AI has quite a good understanding of badfic actually.))

((hS: WAIT maybe this is the result of our app being malware! After all, you can't spell 'bi-curious' without 'you decide to try it anyway because you're curious what would happen'!))

((Aaaaah this was not the goal!)) by doctorlit on 2020-01-27 13:54:28 UTC Reply

>Wait for Agent Apple to exorcize me!

—doctorlit, feeling this plot twist in the worst way

> Wait for Agent Apple to exorcise you by Huinesoron on 2020-01-27 15:55:46 UTC Reply

Another minute passes before Agent Apple comes back with a man dressed in black leather pants and a tattered white shirt.

((hS: The game actually got a bit confused here and quoted her returning with the Sue again first. I've clipped that out, but not reverted it, because this is too good!))

> Say "Are the Elves In Black Leather going to help exorcise me?"

You say "Are the Elves In Black Leather going to help exorcise me?" The man smiles and says "Of course, we've been working on this project for years now. We just need a human sacrifice."

((hS: O.O. Though I guess that's pretty on-point for OFUM. Um... if we're Sue-influenced, can we really offer our Twu Wuv up to be sacrificed?

((Sure we can! We Suvians care only for ourselves.))

> Say "All right, Lord Elrond, you can sacrifice the Mary Sue to exorcise me."

You say "All right, Lord Elrond, you can sacrifice the Mary Sue to exorcise me." The man laughs and says "Well I'm sure your mother will appreciate that one more than we do." He puts his arm around the woman and kisses her on the lips.

((hS: DANGIT she got to Elrond!))

The story so far

Oh, man. Oh dear. by doctorlit on 2020-01-28 04:04:24 UTC Reply

I guess it's pretty clear I haven't worked with this program before . . . I was amused that the bot tried to go for a more traditional exorcism, but now I'm not entirely sure how to fix this.

I guess let's try:

>Let Agent Apple exorcise everyone in the room.

—doctorlit, hopefully not making things worse this time?

> Let Agent Apple exorcise everyone in the room by Huinesoron on 2020-01-28 11:03:05 UTC Reply

The story so far

You let Agent Apple exorcize everyone in the room. She quickly finds all traces of magic and dispells them from the area.

"I'm glad you were able to get rid of most of it," she says.

((hS: Good job, Agent Apple! I'm sure she's giving us too much credit here. But at least we can finish the job.))

> Aim an arrow at the Mary Sue and ask if she has any last words

You aim an arrow at the Mary Sue and ask if she has any last words. She looks up at you and smiles.

"Thank you for saving my life, Master Aragorn!" she says. "And thank you for helping us save our world from evil."

((hS: Insipid to the last. Interesting to note that the AI caught my mention of Elrond and has concluded we're in Middle-earth. Okay - I'll let someone else do the honours.))

>I fire the arrow into the Mary Sue and kill her. (nm) by doctorlit on 2020-01-28 12:32:44 UTC Reply

> Fire the arrow. by Huinesoron on 2020-01-28 13:37:18 UTC Reply

The story so far

You fire the arrow at the Mary Sue. It hits her square in the chest, but doesn't kill her instantly. Instead, she falls backwards off of you and onto the floor. Her eyes are wide open and she's breathing heavily.

((hS: The AI had a bit of a sulk at me here: every time I included any detail, it just sullenly repeated exactly what I said. Still, this worked out okay.))

> Say "It serves you right. Now die already."

You say "It serves you right. Now die already." The Mary Sue's eyes roll back in her head and she begins to fade away.

> Thank Lord Elrond politely for his help

You thank Lord Elrond politely for his help. He nods and walks out of the room, leaving you alone with the Mary Sue.

((hS: Hurrah, nobody kissed anyone!))

> Kick the Mary Sue to see if she's all the way dead yet

You kick the Mary Sue to see if she's all the way dead yet. She starts moving slightly as you try to keep her still.

"What... what is this? Is this some sort of dream?" she asks as you continue kicking her body.

((hS: Oh gods, not a death speech!))

> Look at Agent Apple and say "Oh gods, not a death speech!"

You look at Agent Apple and say "Oh gods, not a death speech!" She sighs and shakes her head.

"No, no, no. This isn't real..." she says as you continue kicking her body.

"This is just a nightmare," you reply.

((hS: Omigosh the AI gave us a sassy one-liner!))

> Shoot an arrow into the Mary Sue's face

You shoot an arrow into the Mary Sue's face. The arrow goes through her nose and then into her brain. She collapses backwards off of you and onto the floor, dead.

((hS: Yaaaaaay, go PPC! The bodysnatcher is dead!

((... anyone want to comedically dispose of the body?))

>I teleport the corpse deep into the dark caves under Helm's Deep, then close the way back. by doctorlit on 2020-01-31 12:40:44 UTC Reply

—doctorlit is terrified the bot is going to bring the Suvian back to life somehow

> Portal the Sue's corpse deep into the dark caves under Helm's Deep, then close the way back by Huinesoron on 2020-01-31 14:43:24 UTC Edited Reply

The story so far

You teleport the Mary Sue's corpse deep into the darkness of Helm's Deep, then close the way back.

((hS: I very nearly reverted this and tried again, but the AI made juuust enough changes.))

> Open a portal back to PPC HQ.

You open a portal back to PPC HQ. Everyone is surprised by your actions.

> Follow Agent Apple through the portal

Agent Apple follows you through the portal.

((hS: Now you're just being difficult, partner.))

> Smile at your partner, Agent Apple, and say "I'd call that a job well done."

You smile at your partner, Agent Apple, and say "I'd call that a job well done."

The portal closes and you return to your office where you find out that the Mary Sue has been killed.

((hS: There you go, doc: she's definitely dead. We did it! That means there's only one thing left to do:))

> Cover your ears as the console emits an ear-splitting beep.

You cover your ears as the console emits an ear-splitting beep.

"That was a weird one," you think as you walk around in silence. Suddenly, you hear a voice coming from behind you.

((hS: ...))

> Turn around and say hi to your partner

You turn around and say hello to your partner, Agent Apple. He smiles and nods his head in response. Then he walks away without saying anything else.

((hS: NOW we're done. Post-mortem to follow at some point, but my thanks to everyone who took part in this weird journey.))

That... is not how you do a PPC mission, actually. (nm) by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 23:57:30 UTC Reply

I know by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-22 00:14:07 UTC Reply

The usual way is to read a charge list and then kill the Sue/Stu, but I was just wondering whether the Sue can get a “trial”, before being executed.

~SomeRandomPersonAccount

A random prompt by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-21 11:52:24 UTC Edited Reply

>Shout to them that you are definitely not agents from the PPC

Thanks Huinesoron!

~SomeRandomPersonAccount

> Shout to them that you are definitely not agents from the PPC by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 12:01:16 UTC Reply

You shout to them that you are definitely not agents from the PPC. You turn around and walk away from the window.

A few minutes later, you hear a gunshot behind you.

hS comments: Guns! Maybe we're not in Generic Fantasy after all. How embarrassing!

>Check Agent Orange and yourself for any injuries by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-21 12:34:12 UTC Reply

Thanks Huinesoron, again!

> Check Agent Apple and self for any injuries by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 12:47:15 UTC Reply

You quickly check yourself for any wounds. No blood or other signs of injury appear on you. You continue walking down the street and find a group of people sitting on a bench watching you go by.

hS comments: tweaked the >command to help the game understand. I think I'll steal a turn or two now: these people look like observant sorts.

> Ask if they have seen any plot holes.

You ask if they have seen any plot holes in your story. One man nods his head and tells you he hasn't found anything yet, while another one says he thinks you made up the whole thing.

hS comments: They think Agent Orange is the badficcer - a vile calumny! Let's see what sort of mission this is...

> Ask if there is a Mary Sue at the city gates

You ask if there is a Mary Sue at the city gates. Two men nod their heads in agreement and say yes. You then ask who she is and they both tell you that she looks exactly like you!

hS comments: O.O Maybe we ARE the badficcer! Back to you to investigate, Board.

hS

>You suffer a midlife crisis by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-21 13:07:35 UTC Edited Reply

Thanks Huinesoron, for the third time!

> Suffer a midlife crisis by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 13:34:39 UTC Reply

You suffer a midlife crisis and decide to become a writer instead.

hS comments: Well that's not going to get the mission done!

> Ask Agent Apple to slap some sense into you

You ask Agent Apple to slap some sense into you. She smiles and asks if you want her to do it now. You agree and she begins slapping you across the face with all her might.

hS comments: Just as any good partner would.

hS

>You begin to feel pain after the powerful slap and fall back by SomeRandomPersonAccount on 2020-01-21 13:50:43 UTC Reply

Thanks Huinesoron, is it the fourth time already?

> Feel pain from the powerful slaps and fall back by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 14:04:12 UTC Reply

You feel pain from the powerful slaps and fall back. The two men laugh at you and tell you that this was just a test to see how much force they could give you before killing you.

hS comment: Focus. The AI now thinks we're under attack. We need to give it prompts to bring it back in line. And so:

> Portal away from the bit characters to find the Mary Sue

You portal away from the bit characters to find the Mary Sue. You find yourself in a small town, which has no residents. It's just a bunch of houses with nothing inside them except for piles of trash and weeds growing out of the ground.

hS comment: Now that we've got a feel for the game, this is a bit of a soft reset. There's a Mary Sue in this town who looks like us. Go.

hS

>Look for the Mary Sue in the houses by Neo Skater on 2020-01-21 17:37:19 UTC Reply

Maybe she's in one of them, romancing the poor canon whom Mary Sue latched on to.

SMF bumped us to the top with the Harlem Shake. by Huinesoron on 2020-01-21 17:56:52 UTC Reply

We've got a phone call to deal with at the moment. :)

hS