Before I actually get down to giving feedback that hopefully won’t get in hot water, I have one important point. THIS IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK AND DEALS WITH THE SUBJECT OF RAPE. Thank you.
Even though other boarders have pointed out a similar point about your fic, the descriptions are quite good. The usage of simile for umm, describing the sensation as riding a horse, is interesting, and tells us on what umm, the assailants were doing. The use of drawing comparisons to drowning in an ocean and the violence is a good metaphor, for Aelis’ suffering and hopelessness. There’s quite a few themes in this writing that I actually appreciate.
But I have a few problems with the writing. Where is Rudi? Isn’t he always in the bar?(I assume that this actually takes place at Rudi’s). Other than that, aren’t there other agents around? I’m also not sure why they haven’t heard them raping Aelis? No, I don’t mean the wet noises from the rape. Through Aelis’ perspective we’re told that she heard that there were three characters who were laughing. So, weren’t they also making noises such as laughing, and as a result would have alerted others?
Overall, if I were to look over the plotholes, I think that it’s a decent and a bit short piece of writing.
~SomeRandomPersonAccount hopes that he hasn’t offended anyone.