Your friends from real life, whom you pressganged into doing this;
Your errant cousin, living with you until they mend their ways and fall in love with the milkman;
Your errant milkman, living with you until they mend their ways and fall in love with three bottles of semi-skimmed and a gooseberry yoghurt;
Your cats, who number at least seven;
Your multiple personalities, who number at least twice that;
A group of former servicemen in a big van, on the run from prison for a crime they didn't commit;
The biology faculty of the University of North Cornwall (formerly Bute Technical College);
The Harlem Globetrotters;
The Wu-Tang Clan;
The Sugar Puffs monster;
And a kipper called Fred.