Subject: A late read, but hey! I read the thing!
Author:
Posted on: 2020-06-14 23:51:05 UTC
I always forget just how prickly Nume is- I love reading about this stubborn, angry guy. The contrast with Jenni is just so full of crackly tension!
"Missing Time" (also on AO3) - In which the newest member of FicPsych gets her first client, and he hasn’t heard of Bleeprin yet.
To borrow some of my own end notes:
I wrote this story to answer for myself the question of exactly how Jenni and Nume met and started down the road to becoming vitriolic best buds. It ended up being primarily Jenni’s backstory, but I was especially excited to show what Nume was like back in the early days.
It’s also a general PPC history piece, touching on such events as the merging of the Departments of Psychology and Fictional Psychology, the 2004 Blackout, the first PPC Badfic Game (exemplified by “Agent Dafydd + The Gurl” by Huinesoron and Vemi), the evolution of the response center, and the increasing availability of Bleeprin.
Some of you have seen the first part of this, years ago, and you may also recognize the description of the Remus Lupin badfic from a historical DOGA mission I wheedled hS into writing last year. You should read it if you haven't. Intertextuality is fun!
I hope you find there's something here for everyone to enjoy. ^_^
~Neshomeh
Oh man, oh man, I've been looking forward to reading this all week! And as much as I was, it was even better than I was expecting!
Jenni's backstory is something we-the-readers have been aware of for a while now, but it was still interesting seeing her get as introspective about it as she does here. She's always seemed like a fairly mellow character (at least by PPC standards), so it was a nice change seeing her chafing under her assistant status while knowing she was capable of doing so much more. It makes her relationship with Supernumerary feel a bit easier to understand now. The fact that he represented her very first chance to help someone solve a major problem explains why she still attaches herself to him after years of Nume's attitude and emotional distancing.
For that matter, Nume in the present day actually feels more subdued, compared to his behavior in this story. He still says caustic stuff nowadays, sure, but in this piece, he feels like he's almost actively picking insults to keep Jenni from growing closer to him. He feels so much more vulnerable here than I'm used to seeing him, with the physical tics and the moments when memories overwhelm his mind. I'm not a fan of characters abusing substances, but I have to admit, seeing Nume pre-Bleeprin addiction is rather scary.
I have to admit, I'm so used to Cameo being out of the picture, I took it for granted when I started reading that Nume was already alone when the story opened, so I initially thought of his memory loss problem as something psychological that he needed to work through. But the second I saw her name mentioned for the first time, I just got this cold feeling inside, like "Oh. Oh. This is that." I'll admit, I've always been a bit curious about Cameo and her final falling-out with Nume, but I never really asked about it because I knew how much you disliked writing her. It was nice to get some closure about those events, even though they were off-page. Cameo does indeed sound like quite a yucky person. I do like the imagery of her sort of handling the neuralyzer around the RC to show her unhealthy fixation with it. (Her Precious?) It's also kind of spooky to think that Cameo might have gotten away with this behavior if she didn't happen to be partnered with one of the few people with eidetic memory . . .
The historical setting, and references to past events, make the whole story even more fun! In particular, I appreciated Bogglish and Pablum getting a posthumous mention and appearance, respectively. I feel like we need to start setting more stories in the past to flesh out some of the history that tends to only be mentioned or assumed from the Wiki. But then, that's easy for me to say, falling so far behind in my own writing . . .
—doctorlit, a week late
It's always great to see if particular things land with a reader as intended or not, especially when they do! {= D
(And thanks to everyone else, too! I will try to reply to everyone individually, but now I've said it here just in case.)
Nume is definitely both better off and easier to be around post-Bleeprin. If you squint at him sideways, you can even see him having feelings and trying to be helpful sometimes! {= D As such, I don't classify his use of Bleep as abuse, any more than someone with ADHD taking their Adderall as prescribed is abusing that. Plus, Bleeprin/Bleepka is a silly fictional substance that doesn't create a physical dependence, anyway. {= )
Cameo is yucky, and learning that I could come up with a character like that wigged me out a bit! I think the neuralyzer thing might've been one of those ideas that seemed funny at first, in the way that things can when you're still basically a kid and haven't learned how to think implications through yet, but is actually horrific once the thinking-through happens. Dang maturity and perspective and empathy and knowing too much about real abusive people...
Fortunately, Cameo is fictional and not based on anything in particular, and her fate is mine to decide. My heart still believes in justice, even though my head has gotten very cynical these days. I'm sure she would've been caught eventually no matter what, just like a pathological liar eventually gets tangled up in their own webs. I know what does ultimately happen with her, too, but that's a story I'm saving for another time. ^_~
I'm glad you enjoyed the history bits! I almost didn't get Bogglish in—it was going to be Nathonea until I realized that Nathonea probably joined up around the same time Jenni did, fresh from HFA, so she didn't fit the role of "more experienced nurse." Lucky Bogglish. He and Pablum both deserved another screen credit, for sure.
Thank you for your thoughts!
~Neshomeh
I always forget just how prickly Nume is- I love reading about this stubborn, angry guy. The contrast with Jenni is just so full of crackly tension!
This is up to your usual standard of quality, which is to say it's very, very good. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it has a lot of really fascinating character insights into Nume. And Jenni as well, but I was much more aware of those facts to begin with...
What insights did you get? I wanna make sure they're the ones I put there. ^_~
~Neshomeh
There are more hints to Nume's past, indications of an unpleasant (at least, if not abusive) childhood, a glimpse into how he handled his condition prior to the introduction of Bleeprin, and a real sense of just how much Nume needs Bleeprin in order to be functional. I mean... uh... oof. You gotta feel for the guy.
Yep, that's the stuff!
So, I know Nume had a problem relative, but it wasn't either of his parents. His feelings toward them are positive enough that he bothers to send them a letter once a year, letting them know he's not dead. I think his mom was 100% in his corner, and encouraged his watching Star Trek and reading and such, and likely enjoyed those things herself. I know she was a nurse during WWII, and an intelligent and kickass lady. I dunno much about his dad, but as a doctor, I think the guy was just not around much and maybe a bit clueless about normal kids, let alone this kid, at worst. I lean toward the problem relative being Nume's grandmother on his dad's side—someone it would be difficult for his mom to risk alienating. Also a pushy, interfering church lady. The person responsible for the hand-slap in the last memory might've been her, or it might've been a nun or a pastor or something.
I think he struggled most getting through primary school and high school. College was better; it usually is. And then came uni and a super-cool new library building, which led to the PPC!
~Neshomeh
Ah man, what a great read! I finally have some backstory now. I actually read Agent Cameo’s page on the wiki earlier. Spoilers for the interlude Too bad I spoiled myself...
Oh, I forgot to mention: after the time skip, I’m pretty sure “time weren’t” should be “time wasn’t”. You might want to check that out.
I never had much hope that the mystery would last very long with characters this well established, but it is a shame you managed to spoil yourself just before reading this. I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway!
What do you mean by saying "you" finally have some backstory, though? Are you secretly one of my characters come to life?? {= O
~Neshomeh
I don't know what you're talking about! I totally meant that I had Jenni and Nume's backstory! Um, yeah! Super believable!
Obviously I'm biased, having repeatedly beta'd it, but my beta comments included a lot of random asides and agent interactions, which shows how engaged I was. (Also apologies from me for crashing the power grid, and from me on behalf of Dafydd for dropping Remus into FicPsych without any notes.)
hS
You helped me develop my thoughts to a much clearer state, and I appreciate it. The asides were fun, too.
Personally, I'd forgive you, but I'm not sure it's up to me... ^_~
~Neshomeh