1) That's good that they do that. Whether you do or don't end up doing those sort of things, I'm not going to criticize you for it.
2) Getting information from different sources is good.
3) Disagreements on things like politics; good ways to teach people not to be racist; whether phrases such as "not all white people, but most", "white silence is violence" are productive or even necessary to help the Black community; etcetera.
4) I'd say you just judge people by their character and not their skin color anyway. Because judging people by their skin color is bad even without that kind of system existing.
Also, as long as this "conditioning" isn't the kind that turns people into mindless zombies, doesn't involve a mind-control weapon that strips people of their free will, involve linking them into some sort of hivemind, or involve villains threatening people literally to "be racist or die", people can break that "conditioning" either by themselves or with help from others. It may end up being difficult and it may take a long time, but I'd like to think it's possible.
5) That doesn't really answer my question, but I'm not going to push it.
As for what I think is the definition of racism (or rather the definition I go by the most), it's simply discrimination or prejudice based on race. If I want to specify racism on an institutional or systemic level, I'd use the terms institutional racism or systemic racism, respectively.
I asked the question because sometimes people have different definitions of the same word. There is a definition of racism that, IIRC, is summed up as "Racism = Power + Privilege", which as a result excludes white people as being victims of racism (I do not mean institutionalized racism or systemic racism) even as a possibility, or excludes non-white people as perpetrators of racism. There are some people who act as though that is the only true definition of racism, even disregarding the other definitions.
I also phrased the question that way to avoid a "just google the answer" response because we could come to different conclusions about the definitions. At least if we clear it up here, the conversation will become more coherent, even if it's a just little bit.
Thanks for being patient with me.