Subject: tbh I'm just waiting for the Sue to try to justify their crimes with "I HAD TO, HE HAD A BANANA" (nm)
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Posted on: 2020-12-09 12:28:49 UTC
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Found an ineligible badfic on DA, just gonna talk about it by
on 2020-12-08 22:24:31 UTC
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There's this one person on Deviantart who makes a more... WTF-fic then anything, and when someone asked a "Who would win?" question to them about the cast of their fic vs. one of the fics I believe is on the waiting list to spork, the person said "My fic, by a landslide".
(If it makes things clearer, the other fic is a Loud House one)
And it's interesting, because said person also brought up the PPC, and said something along the lines of "Oh, this one character's aura (note: A version of Joe Kido from Digimon) has a nullification aura that could even nullify PPC weapons due to the powers of his crest and getting possessed by the bad guy of my story!"
When the person asked them why that was, their answer to that was: "The bad guy in question is connected to the meta of all fiction, official and fanfictional."
An extra note is that said bad guy was once a real live person at one point in the story, so it doesn't make it eligible to spork. (Not naming names on the person except that they're a comedy musician IRL).
What do you make of this (kind of messy) fanfiction-verse I saw briefly on Deviantart?
(I personally think they've drank too much "Vs. Battles Wiki" juice, but you do you, DA writer :P)
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Checking up on the fic by
on 2020-12-19 20:05:26 UTC
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I looked at the fic's latest installment, and, uh...
I'll just list a few oddities from it so far:
- Joe is apparently called Lain now in the fic, and is a trans woman now. All well and good for that part, but they give her a very Stu-like build (the impossibly big muscles) which kinda gives me weird vibes. They're pretty respectful about her identity otherwise, which is wonderful.
-- Izzy's also referred to exclusively by her English dub name, and is also a trans woman with a very Stu-like build. (Isn't she the Crest of Knowledge? She really doesn't need big muscles like that, just let her be trans)
- The current villain of the story, I guess because of the Smash Bros reveal, is Sephiroth. So much so that he has the other villains of the story (Two OCs, Dargon and Automatica) scrambling because apparently this put a 'wrench in their plans'. Note that Automatica even namedrops the PPC, as Automatica has planned for the PPC if 'they were to come into our little canon'. (Character's words exactly)
-- Dargon is a space kangaroo, the son of a previous villain, and Automatica is consistently referred to as a 'fusion between Spottie Leonard from CRiTORA and Jareth the Goblin King'. Automatica also is referred to by they/them pronouns exclusively, which I congratulate the two authors on, actually. I just wish the character was written better and not described like... that.
There's more then one Valo, not just the Luke Ski one. There's a Valo modelled after Snapscube/Penny Parker, and one modelled after... Ken Penders? Penny!Valo is consistently called "Girl Valo". Also, the Ken Penders one doesn't talk, and is described as a 'maniac' consistently in the fic. To hammer the point of that home, they often call him "Feral Valo".
They slip in a Leeroy Jenkins joke... when Tai does a charge into battle, ultimately getting killed and... revived? Yeah, I don't know, either. He's now referred to as Animo, indicating a possible form change upon dying and reviving.
-- Same thing happens with Peyton from Chaotic, who they refer to as 'Antonia', indicating she's trans like Lain, too. Her name in the fic is currently Alitura. (The trans woman part's not a problem, I congratulate them on that too, but they really gotta kill her off and revive her a few paragraphs apart, huh?)
That's as much as I've gathered from the current installment of the story. The trans representation is great and wonderful, but a lot of the other elements? Not so much.
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Dang you, enter button! by
on 2020-12-24 03:40:58 UTC
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I was going to make a funny joke, was going to go back on it.
But I hit the enter button. Oops.
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...unless the aura nullifies a PPC agent's cleverness. (Reply to Neshomeh, mind was elsewhere) by
on 2020-12-09 23:04:52 UTC
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"So, how do we beat this thing?" Kaito asked.
"That's simple! We... uh..." Tanner screwed his face up in concentration. "uh... I've got nothing. Could you please try to think of something?"
"Well, I'll try." Kaito contemplated the Stu's various powers. Fire lasers, thunderbolts, radioactive sword summoning... He tried to think of a power that could counter every power the Stu had, but every power he could think of would just be countered by another power. He thought of the biggest, most powerful weapon he could, but it still wouldn't be enough.
Meanwhile, Tanner was poking at the knot in his brain. It wasn't a usual knot, the one he usually got when he got his panties in a twist. It felt artificial, like there was some antimemetic anomaly that was actively blocking his thought process.
"Well, we can't use a weapon, because his aura negates all PPC weapons." Kaito said.
The two agents spent the next few minutes in thought until Tanner realized why they were so unusually dry of ideas.
"Wait, Kaito, do you think cleverness might count as a weapon?"
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Hmmm. by
on 2020-12-09 23:31:46 UTC
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Well, we could try the method used by Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. in an episode of the latest season (that I've seen): make sure nobody near the action knows the whole plan so that it looks like they're just running around doing random nonsense until it suddenly comes together at the last second. May require convoluted time-travel shenanigans. If it works on a super-intelligent AI that can literally see all of history and all future probabilities, it should work on anybody.
Or, to avoid the use of (agents') cleverness at all, we could try the kind of gormlessness owned by the likes of Rincewind or Ciaphas Cain: send in someone so cowardly and bumbling that the narrative Powers That Be can't resist making them look like Big Damn Heroes for the lulz. I like this idea—it makes the bad guy look silly without making the PPC look OP. And they could have a banana, too. ^_^
~Neshomeh
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More thinking (and a random quote). by
on 2020-12-10 00:43:34 UTC
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"Nope! I'm outta here. Coming with, Kitty?"
To go along with what Neshomeh said about "cowardly agent," if an agent was truely afraid, they probably could run out of range or something and portal back, as long as they weren't thinking of using portaling as a weapon.
Which leads to the whole "anything is a weapon as long as you think it is" and "if it isn't thought to be a weapon, it isn't" thought trains. Which then leads to a question: Is something a weapon to the enemy if the person against them thinks it is or is it of the enemy thinks it is? Or both?
And what about "accidentally getting out of sight long enough to not be considered a threat?" Would someone completely and utterly afraid be a threat to the enemy? Could they escape if they weren't a threat?
Or, perhaps the enemy just blocks any electronic items.
But, unless the Words say something along the lines of "and all agents were killed" or the agents brought enough attention to themselves, would they not be affected?
~Kittyauthor, who wants to help mission this
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Sure you can mission it by
on 2020-12-10 18:57:35 UTC
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The fic is Crossover Chaos by Elwynn James and Jessica McKinney, but this is more coming from Elwynn's side of things (Jessica's side is more balanced in terms of powers). You may know it as the "Fanboy and Chum Chum trounce around Equestria with Kyle's wand" fic, the "Mission: Magic! Werewolf Socks" fic, or even the "Thirsty Kyle Carrozza Roger Rabbit-style RPF" fic. (I still argue it would be more then ineligible to spork because there's more then one Real Person in the fic, but they've mostly gone by the wayside except for Valo, who is very clearly FuMP musician The Great Luke Ski with godly metafictional powers and a different name... If you can find a way to spork it, that'd be fine, be aware it's also in an unusual format (Deviantart comments section) and half the fanfic is missing due to Deviantart's move to Eclipse, so it might prove difficult.)
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I don't intend to, myself. by
on 2020-12-10 22:37:21 UTC
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I'm just in this for the entertaining thought experiment. {= )
The format definitely sounds like more trouble than it's worth. I wonder if it counts more as a bad role-play than a bad fanfiction... but, if the authors say it's a fic, then I'd have no qualms about holding it to the standards of one.
If anyone does decide they really want to mission this thing, I'd be happy to consult on matters of what's okay and what works, since it sounds very tricky.
~Neshomeh
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I mean, I'd love to? But only in the sense that "PPC weapons" does not extend to ANFO. by
on 2020-12-11 12:44:24 UTC
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i'm not on any watchlists and you can't prove itBut yeah, I'd say more about this nonsense, but I can't in good conscience mission anything until I get my big double-header collab done. And that requires me to actually, like, write. Which has been tricky lately. Good job I'm not working on it with one of the people I respect most in the entire community, huh? Wasting their time for literal years while I tit about doing nothing would be deeply disrespectful so I'm glad I'm not doing that! That'd be awful!
[checks notes]
oh.
uh oh.
i uh.
i'll be going back to that collab now.
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Oh, pshaw, you're fine. by
on 2020-12-11 16:15:41 UTC
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I mean, have you seen my track record? "Titting about doing nothing for literal years" pretty well describes my writing habits. Especially when it comes to, say, big Legendaries that have been on my docket for over a decade that it could be considered fairly rude to keep putting off due more or less to cowardice. {= P (It'll happen eventually. I've done work on it as recently as this year, I swear.)
Anyway, this has been a dren year. I haven't checked, but I'm betting I could count the number of missions published on one hand, maybe two. Pretty sure that's not a coincidence. I think we can all safely forgive ourselves and try to move on, yeah?
~Neshomeh
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2020 sure has been a year by
on 2020-12-11 19:54:49 UTC
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(and I will Totally, Definitely, 100% For Sure have Ch. 2 of the YW/Animorphs crossover ready for betaing Soon - I'm, like, 75% of the way done with it, going a few sentences at a time)
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/sneaks in here, ENCOURAGES, also brings Good Vibes, then exits/ (nm) by
on 2020-12-12 01:04:28 UTC
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Reminds me of the big amount of badfic I have to mission. I now have a *Gatsby* fic to add. (nm) by
on 2020-12-11 21:57:22 UTC
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Wait, there's badfic about Gatsby? Oh gosh, I must see this. (nm) by
on 2020-12-12 04:01:29 UTC
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I found two, actually. One's a songfic, I think they're both Natsby. (nm) by
on 2020-12-12 16:08:28 UTC
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Which is not to that Natsby is bad, it's just the badfics both ship Natsby (nm) by
on 2020-12-18 19:15:46 UTC
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If it exists, there is badfic of it. (nm) by
on 2020-12-18 13:23:03 UTC
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Dang it, that applies to Dishonored as well. Dang it! (nm) by
on 2020-12-18 15:38:59 UTC
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I've yet to find Anathem badfic (nm) by
on 2020-12-18 18:08:09 UTC
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Just you wait. You've triggered the IO by saying that. (nm) by
on 2020-12-21 16:57:31 UTC
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Dang it! I know I should've posted that joke earlier! (nm) by
on 2020-12-21 18:10:17 UTC
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Well, if it edges too close to RPF, then maybe not... (nm) by
on 2020-12-10 22:30:26 UTC
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The "could even nullify PPC weapons" bit amuses me greatly. by
on 2020-12-09 04:03:56 UTC
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Granted, agents have some unique tools and gadgets at their disposal, but their actual weapons are supposed to be canonical for whatever universe they're in, so what I get from that line is "oh, yes, [Character's] super-special godly aura can even nullify a pointed stick!" {X D
It's also amusing because he seems to be making a classic Evil Overlord error, assuming his opponents will come at him with sheer power because that's what he would do. But the PPC, having gotten its start in the LotR fandom, knows well that if the bad guy expects you to confront him with power, you have to do what he doesn't expect and beat him with cleverness instead. Never has there been a god-like Sue or Stu that couldn't be comedically hoisted on their own petard.
Personally, I'd go after this guy with a nice, ripe banana. No one ever bothers to learn self-defense against fresh fruit these days. {; P
On a less silly note, the presence of a single real person as a character in a fic doesn't automatically make it ineligible to spork. It sounds like this person is a public figure, and it also sounds like the character doesn't even resemble the real person for the entire fic. I'd have to see the thing to say for sure, but from what you describe, it doesn't seem to be on the same level of skeevyness as a story entirely devoted to the alleged love life of actors/musicians.
~Neshomeh
(Worship the Python, for it is very Monty.)
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tbh I'm just waiting for the Sue to try to justify their crimes with "I HAD TO, HE HAD A BANANA" (nm) by
on 2020-12-09 12:28:49 UTC
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Why am I thinking that John Phoenix would be the villain's attorney? (nm) by
on 2020-12-09 13:41:27 UTC
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OBJECTION! Morality is subjective, so from my client's perspective, he did nothing wrong! (nm) by
on 2020-12-09 23:08:16 UTC
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O-okay, whatever. (Please don't turn into Phoenix Phoenix again!) (nm) by
on 2020-12-10 00:33:38 UTC
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*offers sacrifice to the Python* by
on 2020-12-09 05:14:32 UTC
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Sadly, I'm out of dead mice or the like, so I'll have to go for something appropriate ... all of the nonexistent cheese in my fridge, perhaps.