Subject: Definitely not Gandalf.
Posted on: 2021-04-07 14:25:16 UTC

He got taken out by barely half a dozen Orcs Who Say Ni. I wouldn't put Frodo in either, he'd just bang some sticks together and hide behind his hat.

I don't think Gimli ever did any fighting (too busy being a table), Merry is too busy giving the camera meaningful looks, and Pippin has too many sideburns to do anything. I'm... not at all sure Sam had any lines, come to think of it.

So yeah, it's down to Aragorn (whose hair gets larger and larger as the show goes on), Boromir (auditioning for the role of Evil Wizard), and Legolass (who was thrilled to have a fight sequence; her dad clearly never let her have any fun).

I am genuinely 95% sure Legolas was not only played by, but intended to be a woman. The only reason I'm not positive is that some of the hobbits also occasionally wear masses of lipstick, so maybe that was just a Thing in Leningrad.


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