Subject: Welcome home!
Posted on: 2021-07-24 01:02:44 UTC

I'm Damian Thorne, resident master of the Two-Day Special Interest. Here, have a vial of sparkly blood lifted right from the veins of Starfleet Magic's Grand Ruler Celesto! Please do not drink, inhale, smoke, inject, sniff, use as eyedrops, use as nosedrops, or otherwise take in this blood. If you do, you will end up as a brutal dictator who kills all who dare criticize you – that is, if you don't die pulling off a poorly-planned military coup.

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