Subject: Hat is on.
Posted on: 2021-10-24 19:20:48 UTC

Do I know you? Yep. Do you know the universe? Yep.

Your agent concepts are interesting and I like how they play off each other in your prompts. There's also a lot of potential for character growth from the both of them, which is always great to see. :)

However, there are a few points that I'm not too keen on.

If you'd planned on sporking a mission from the unclaimed badfic section, you should have posted it here; as it is, I had a look at your MLP pick, and while the first few chapters are boring, they're not poorly written enough to warrant a sporking; it's not our job to go after "meh" badfics, it's the godawful, "so bad the bar was on the ground and the fic dug below it" fics that the PPC missions.

Your technical writing also had me raising a few eyebrows. You sprinkle em dashes quite liberally through the prompts, sometimes in places it isn't necessary. For example, with the sentence "What made them hesitant was the conspicuously empty space next to it — it looked as if another number used to be there, but had fallen off.", a semicolon would be more appropriate. You also need to decide how you want to format your paragraph breaks, since there are a few instances where you suddenly switch from single lines to doubles.

I'll also note that linking to a song in the text of the story is often a charge in missions, and should have also been something your beta readers should have caught.

That being said, those are easily fixable moving forward. I'm going to say Permission denied for now, but if you polish what you've got, you have the makings of something good here.

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