For being based on such a simple, straightforward romance fic, you're certainly constructing an intriguing mission here!

I love that your narrator got even more snarky towards the agents when the script format arrived, like it felt emboldened by being on a more equal level with the characters! I also really enjoyed Ishitani's speech about what unhealthy sorts of things people can be conditioned to tolerate when consuming romance in fiction. What is the "do-S" he mentions, though? I can't find anything through searching but a One-Punch Man character.

There's one sentence with an awkward structure:
"This man she barely knew and she was nowhere near fond of, but . . ."
You've got the "object" (the man) before the "subject" (Momoka) that's acting on it. It would work better as:
"She barely knew this man, and she was nowhere near fond of him, but . . ."

—doctorlit suspects something about Ishitani's identity, but doesn't want to say anything for fear of ruining the surprise for other readers