"You know," Huinesoron said to the two absolutely dashing women standing around in his mad science lab, "bashing space into submission to get us together for wild raunchy fun is getting boring." His lab was, in true mad scientist fashion, full of machines that went ding and unlabelled glassware full of brightly-colored fuming chemicals. (Of course none of it was in a fume hood - since when did mad scientists care about OSHA?)

"If you're suggesting we try alien sex pollen again," Neshomeh declared. "I'm out. I couldn't walk straight for two whole weeks after that!"

Lilly giggled. "I'm not sure you could ever walk straight after the thing we did with the whipped cream, the industrial fan, and--"

"Not in front of the narrator!" Nesh interrupted. "They're not supposed to hear about that."

Lily sighed. "Ok, fine. It was a good time, though."

"Yeah," Neshomeh smiled. "Yeah, yeah it was."

"Anyway," hS continued, "no, we're not doing that again." He reached over to pull a bedsheet dramatically off a machine that had been standing in the corner. The machine had space for a person to stand inside it surrounded by way too many exposed and arcing wires. Half off the electrical bits didn't do anything, but the aesthetic was important with these sorts of things.

"What's that do?" Nesh asked, eyeing the control panel suspiciously.

"Time travel!" hS announced, almost bouncing up and down. "We're going to the 90s!"

Nesh and Lily groaned. "The 90s sucked the first time," Nesh said.

"No, no," Huinesoron rushed to clarify, "the 1890s!"

"Wait, why then?" Lily asked. Then she remembered important facts about that time period. "So I can walk around in a corset without it being weird?"

"I can wear a frilly schoolgirl dress!" Neshomeh added. "I've always wanted an excuse to get one of those!" She'd pulled her phone out near the end of the sentence so she could buy one of said dresses as soon as possible.

"You've both read my mind," hS said. "I was planning on a fancy suit. And, as a bonus, all those clothes take a while to take off, so we can be very sensual about stripping."

"Oh, yes~" Lily agreed. "I think Neshy and me will have plenty of fun seducing a handsome aristocrat like you."

Neshomeh blushed. "I'm 'Neshy' still?"

"Oh, of course you're Neshy after all we've done to each other," Lily replied.

"Hold on," Nesh said, suddenly realizing a potential problem with the plan. "How do we get back?"

"The machine will pull us back after two days," hS said. "It'll be fine. You trust me, right?"

"Yep!" Nesh said. "Even after the one time with the centrifuge and the really long cucumber."

"So, it's settled, then?" Huinisoron asked. "We're all in to go make a bunch of Victorians faint?"

Neshomeh and Lily nodded enthusiastically, and, some amount of preparation later, the trio went off to have a bangathon that has been reverberating around the timestream to this day.

(( Brought to you by the early PPC stuff going on up the Board and my inability to write endings ))

When doctorlit came in the door, he heard sounds of cooking and Metallica emanating from the kitchen. He was early, but Claire wouldn't mind. He walked into the kitchen to see what she was making. She was standing in front of the stove, stirring a large pot.

"How now, you secret, black, and midnight hag?

What is ’t you do?" he asked, giving her a kiss.

"A deed without a name, namely making chicken noodle soup," she replied. A timer beeped.

"Unhand me, unless you want to eat burned pie after your soup."

She put on baking mitts, opened the oven, and took out a bubbling blueberry pie and set it down on a cooling rack. It smelled delicious.

((I will also write more of this, but I have homework that needs doing.))

(A/N: I've been thinking about a story involving me and cake for a while, but now with a ship Existing, I think I can combine it in.)

Scarlett looked around at the busy diner. A dusty sign hung to her right, Seat Yourself. Kids in the kid section kept throwing ridiculous food combinations at each other: mash potatoes with hamburger mixed it, french fries soaked in soy sauce, a whole ramen bowl...

In the not-kid section (well, one couldn't call it an adult section, as a couple of teen sat at one of the tables), all the tables had someone at them. Scarlett sighed. She hoped for a solo table, but those hopes were gone. Unless she was fine with a soda fry to the face.

She began walking down the aisle, looking at each table in turn: a couple smooching, one of them looking like they were the bird-god Thoth; a family with teens having a nice steak dinner; a bunch of face-stealers taking selfies with their newest catches, a long-haired teen staring at their phone.

Scarlett paused at that table. There sat, in the middle of the table, a vanilla cake with pretty, pure white frosting. It wasn't even touched. The person sat, typing on their phone white it was horizontal. Scarlett noticed it was Discord.

Mathcat: Oh gods, that's horrible.

Goodmodaddict: It gets worst.

Mathcat: I was worried you were gonna say that.

Scarlett blinked. "kA?" she asked.

Kittyauthor looked up, their eyes ambery, their lips in a small smile. "Hello. Who are you?"

"Scarlett?" she replied.

"Scarlett. The gal who used to be Midnight," Kittyauthor said. "It's nice seeing you here."

"Do you mind if I sit?" Scarlett asked, pointing to the seat across from them. "There's nowhere else to."

"Go ahead," they responded, shrugging. "No one else is coming, so... yeah. Go ahead." They smiled; it didn't reach their eyes.

"Thanks," Scarlett said. She sat down, looking at the vanilla cake in envy. Kittyauthor looked up from their phone briefly.

"Go ahead," they said, "I don't like cake anyways."

"Why did you buy yourself a whole cake, then?" Scarlett asked. She grabbed the cake knife and cut a slice, then transferred it to her plate. It had been set for... Scarlett counted for a moment. "Four," Scarlett said.

"Yes," kA said. "I had expected some friends to join me, but they didn't, so..." They shrugged their shoulders and acted like they weren't affected by it. Scarlett got the feeling this happened often.

"Well, I'm here," Scarlett said. "Don't I count?"

"You're too pretty to be friends with ugly lil' me," they responded. They looked at their phone, sighed, then swiped something away before setting it down. "Geema's sporking a bad Transformers fic. Rather not be a part of that." They smiled and shrugged

"You're not ugly," Scarlett said. "You're pretty. You have long hair that I envy, a pretty face, pretty smile..."

"But my teeth are yellow," they responded, blushing. "I'm not that pretty."

"Trust me, you are," Scarlett said. "Now, is there a dessert you like? I can order it for you." She took put her fork and began carving the slice of cake into pieces.

"Nah, not a fan of sweets," kA responded. "I'm fan of mac & cheese-"

"Hello," the waiter said abruptly, "do you want something to drink?" He was turned towards her. It was her response.

"A glass of water, and could I have some mac & cheese?" Scarlett asked.

"Most certainly. I'll be back in a few," the waiter said. He walked off.

"You didn't have to do that," kA said.

"Ah, but I did," Scarlett said. She smiled. "You're pretty and nice. You deserve it, and don't deserve to be abandoned by friends."

kA smiled.

For the rest of the time there, Kittyauthor and Scarlett talked about the most random of things and enjoyed what they had for food. Scarlett got a cake out of it, and another friend.

And Scarlett was sure that Kittyauthor got a friend as well.

---

And done. Sorry about the lack of hunor, I wanted to write something humor-ish but this half-angst half-fluff thing was what I wrote instead. I hope it isn't creepy!

I'm sorry for not writing something funny, but I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless.

-kA, who is half-soaked by rain because they were writing this at the bus stop.

Voyd walked into the room and saw Claire slumped over her desk.

"What's up?" he asked. She didn't usually do this unless she was especially stumped about a problem.

"Mmmfff," said Claire, and got up.

"I can't figure out this blasted totalitarianism thing. Sierpinski was trying to explain it to me, and now I just feel like my brain has been turned into noodles. Oh, hell with it!" She slammed the lid of her laptop.

((I will probably continue this sometime, but this is all I have the spoons for now.))