Subject: Eh.
Author:
Posted on: 2022-04-21 14:13:49 UTC

I also Haven't Read the Thing, though I did see the first movie. Regardless, when it comes to analyses of Edward's behavior, I choose to trust a licensed relationship counselor over a random article-writer. {= )

The article-writer does have a point that what's attractive is subjective, and what a person finds attractive in fiction doesn't necessarily reflect what they find attractive IRL. People like the Phantom of the Opera for similar reasons: yeah, he's a dangerous monster, but if he love me, he'll be my dangerous monster, and only dangerous to people who would hurt me. It's fine for a fantasy.

But, I think the writer doing exactly what scares a lot of us by ignoring or excusing Edward's negative qualities to paint him in a positive light, which is exactly what people trapped in abusive relationships do. It's self-defense: We aren't wrong to love this person, we didn't make a mistake, because look, there's XYZ. That makes up for ABCDEFG, because that's not who they really are. We can see the truth and that actually makes us special. If we're just patient enough, we can help them overcome those negative things, and then everything will be fine. Right?

Except, no, real-life abusers will not stop being abusers just because someone loves them hard enough. They have to make the choice and do the work to change, and if they're getting everything they want by being abusive, why in the world would they do that?

TL;DR it's fine to like Edward as a fictional fantasy, but it's very dangerous if you get mixed up with his ilk IRL.

~Neshomeh

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