It's not up your alley; it's NSFW.

Nomination for Bleepfic. by Linstar on 2022-05-20 16:17:57 UTC Badfic report Reply

Okay, I’ve already ranted about this one, but I wanted to create a new post for my Bleepfic nomination. Warning: this is a trollfic, and a horrible one at that. It does everything possible to make you hate it—except swearing and squickiness. It’s exetremely NSFB.

Now that I’ve said that, I’ll list as many reasons as I can think of as to why Jo Bekke at HUgwrts (link is to an MST, as the original was taken down) is the worst Harry Potter fic ever. (TvTropes page here.)

For starters, the SPaG is unbelievably bad. Sentences like: “Dis iiz mi stury. MI friend edited it 4 me.” make up the entire story. At one point, the author misspells “I”. Seriously. This SPaG is the worst I’ve ever seen. Every other sentence ends in “!1111111” and half the cast shows up only as mini-Aragogs. “Hamlet” is is Hagrid’s Scottish name, and Gollum is a “gremlin” working at Gringotts. There is Dobby/Kreacher slash, and those two are apparently “New Zealanders”.
Trivialization of
The Sue, “Jo Bekke” (and endless variations thereof, see SPaG) is Harry Potter’s uncanon younger sister who lives in America. And it makes no sense. Also, the author’s name, Jo Bel, is substituted for the protagonist’s.
The Sue hates “blaks, gaes, nurtherners, muzlims, azians, murmens,” Catholics, Greek Orthodoxes, and, even though this includes the last three, Christians. Basically, she “h8s” anyone who isn’t a Southerner redneck stereotype. Yeah. She joins “Harree”’s comment? “cull”
She rips off My Immortal many times. Trevor and Navel switching bodies, a hacker (who hacks the story twice), Saying that “Tera” is dumb, misspelling “mi immortal”, saying “It was.............Dumbledore!111” once, and making all MSTers comment on how the fic is worse than My Immortal.
Dumbledore is Santa, and at one point
“Opra” Winfrey is bashed at one point, as are other random celebrities.
Draco is renamed “Jim Bob”, and “Harmony” is a massive Jo Bekke fangirl who somehow wears the Sue’s merchandise and gets a tattoo of her. Ron is “Donald”, until he is renamed “Darryl”, which is also the author’s boyfriend/editor’s name.

All in all, this fanfic is utterly detestable. It is bleepfic-worthy. I applaud the brave MSTers who tackled this garbage. If someone else wants to claim this fic, do so.

So...is it a Bleepfic? by Linstar on 2022-05-24 13:39:43 UTC Reply

Not many have commented on whether or not it counts as one.

I'll just accept that it is Bad, but not Bleep Bad. (nm) by Linstar on 2022-05-27 10:42:46 UTC Reply
I mean... by Neshomeh on 2022-05-24 13:52:14 UTC Reply

Speaking very much as a Jaded Old Person here, but... it's another uber-typo trollfic. I've seen it before. I can't really get worked up about it anymore. Is it bad? I'm sure it is, because it was trying to be. Does it personally upset me? No, because I'm not gonna spend the energy to give a troll the satisfaction. It's a big Meh from me.

~Neshomeh

Seconding this. by Lily Winterwood on 2022-05-24 14:47:33 UTC Edited Reply

I mean, when we were younger (I say, as if I'm about the same age as Nesh, which is emphatically untrue) everything seemed to be horrible and Bleepworthy, especially ones with eye-searing grammatical mistakes. It's how stuff like "legolas by laura" and the other classic Legendaries got such status back in the day, whereas today it's like "yeah, that's a troll, pass".

So that's about the same for me -- the fic's annoying, definitely, but it's also trollishly bad, which doesn't warrant Bleep status simply because then we'd have to categorise every other "My Immortal" knockoff as a Bleepfic. But then again, I'm the one who insists that "S*xy times With Wangxian" is a Legendary Badfic solely on account of it causing AO3 to change its tagging policy, so you may want to take my opinion with a grain of salt.

Thanks for your feedback. by Linstar on 2022-05-24 14:53:25 UTC Edited Reply

(And that Wngx*n fic does sound horrible.) ((Stupid formatting!))

That's markdown for ya! by Lily Winterwood on 2022-05-24 14:56:12 UTC Reply

I've missioned it; the thing's just in my beta backlog because it's about a hundred pages long and I have other interludes I need to get up before it goes up.

I might take this one, but I'm not sure. by Linstar on 2022-05-24 15:03:27 UTC Reply

Side note: What would you say makes a fic Bleep-worthy?

It's not up your alley; it's NSFW. by Lily Winterwood on 2022-05-24 15:23:47 UTC Edited Reply

As for my criteria: probably things that break BL10 & 11 in ways designed to titillate, see: certain fics involving pink Power Rangers, Chibiusa, My Little Ponies, etc. That's also why I maintain that Bleepfic and Legendaries don't always make for a good mission -- this sort of stuff is serious, and the PPC shouldn't be (that) serious. I'm plenty guilty of traumatising my agents, but it's not fun if all they do is get beat up by badfics.

(ETA that in terms of NSFW, that's mostly because of the source fic, and I've tried to cut and elide most of those sorts of scenes. But like I said, this fic also deals with BL10 & 11 in inappropriate ways and the agents call it out, so it needs a more mature rating.)

Yeah, that sounds very much not up my alley. by Linstar on 2022-05-24 15:49:42 UTC Reply

IMO, (yay, abbreviation!) My Immortal is a funny badfic. If you just try to read some of the insanity, just...Hedwig. Look up Hedwig on the My Immortal wiki, and you’ll see what I mean.

But as for the AO3-breaking fic? No thank you. I might read a mission to it, but not the original. Yech. No thanks.

—Ls

Alright, I get that. by Linstar on 2022-05-24 14:37:20 UTC Edited Reply

The insane typos are not the part I would consider the bleepiest. (If that’s a word.) Personally, the rabid hatred for all non-Southerners is what I’d say makes it so terrible.

One vote in favor of Bleepfic status from an Unjaded Young Person, and one vote against from a Jaded Old Person.

All right, thanks for your feedback!

—Ls

I don't know. Bad SPaG, aside from other badness, just makes me cranky. by TheBefuddledBookworm on 2022-05-24 17:14:08 UTC Edited Reply

And it makes me not want to read the story it's in. If it's pretty much unintelligible and I'm just going to get mad at it because of that, it's probably not worth my time to read. So, I guess that's an abstain of sorts.

Ok. Thanks. by Linstar on 2022-05-24 19:30:39 UTC Edited Reply

(It definitely falls under “pretty much unintelligible”.)

I found a bizarre crossover. by Linstar on 2022-05-21 23:02:36 UTC Reply

Alice's Adventures with the Green Grinch, a crossover between Casper, the Grinch, and Alice in Wonderland. I do not understand.
I found another racist Harry Potter badfic. Sadness. by Linstar on 2022-05-21 21:55:52 UTC Reply

It’s called Imma Wiseard and I’m pretty sure it features a black stereotype Stu. Sigh. Link to an MST here. Warning: racism. And racial slurs. I have no idea if the original is still around. And I think it has a TvTropes page, too. Aside from that, the SPaG is terrible—the only time anything is capitalized is when it’s ALL CAPS.

I don’t want this.

—Ls, who hopes he never sees another racism!fic.
Tom Riddle in a top hat! That sounds awful. by TheBefuddledBookworm on 2022-05-20 17:08:53 UTC Reply

Ack. It even has a mini-Aragog in the title. I am Orthodox (but not Greek), and I don't see what her problem is with that or with other denominations of Christians either. I know some Greek Orthodox people, and they are very nice.

As Christian and member of one of the listed denominations... by Linstar on 2022-05-21 13:27:12 UTC Reply

...I agree, it isn’t logical.
Sigh. Sues. by Linstar on 2022-05-20 19:24:52 UTC Edited Reply

Edit: Removed author-bashing.

You kind of are; please stop. (nm) by Huinesoron on 2022-05-20 19:34:35 UTC Reply

Stopped. by Linstar on 2022-05-20 20:27:33 UTC Reply

But as far as the badfic itself, what are your thoughts?

Fëanor on a barbecue, I think… by Kі nо Shirayuki on 2022-05-20 17:45:56 UTC Reply

… I saw this one listed on the "So Bad It's Horrible" TV Tropes page for fanfics back when it still existed. Nearly everything on that list is brain-breakingly bad on another level.

It is So Bad, It’s Horrible. (nm) by Linstar on 2022-05-20 19:25:55 UTC Reply