Subject: Interesting mission.
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Posted on: 2022-06-26 15:49:14 UTC

I thought the mission was interesting. I have zero familiarity with the continuum, so that’s...something. I thought the canon characters killing the Sue was great; I’m not sure if that’s happened before. Poor Kaguya—being used as a weapon while unconscious sounds incredibly painful.

I noticed a couple a weird grammatical bit:

The sentence “Having fired the bullets were no one but Kagura and Matako, umbrella and pistol pointing at the Sue and emitting wisps of smoke from the barrel.” is very awkward, it took me a few rereads to parse it.

Perhaps “The bullets were fired by Kagura and Matako, with their respective umbrella and pistol pointed at the Sue. Wisps of smoke came from the barrel.” would be better.

—Ls

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