One note for safety purposes: be careful where you write things if you're posting to OneDrive, because your email is visible in the Author field on downloaded copies. In this case it doesn't match your Board email but doesn't give any extra personal information, but if you start the file on a home, school, or work computer it could give out info you don't want to make public.

hS

I seem to have missed "An Introduction" when it was first posted, but I've read it now! I quite like both Mina and Carlisle. Mina feels like she has all the best qualities of a Suvian: confidence, curiosity, and a willingness to question authority. Carlisle, on the other hand, is a fun deconstruction of the "veteran agent" archetype: yes, he knows how to do missions, but not how to interact casually with others. And in the actual mission, you show that for all of Carlisle's experience, he's actually easily flustered by badfics, and not nearly as in-control of his words and reactions as he appears at first glance. Meanwhile, despite being a newbie, Mina takes the mission in stride and is willing to give it the benefit of the doubt when Carlisle becomes overly critical. I know that's partly her formerly Suvian nature giving her natural resistance to things like scene changes, but ultimately, her open-mindedness and optimism prove better psychological guards against the insanity of a mission than Carlisle's rigid by-the-book mentality does. They have an excellent dynamic that's fun and thought-provoking to read!

And now, may I proudly welcome you to your very first installment of "doctorlit points out every little grammar and spelling error in your story because he has That Kind Of Brain." (It's a great honor, I assure you. Everybody loves when I do this, and it definitely isn't irritating at all!) These are all from the onedrive link, which is the version I read.

"While you had you beauty sleep," said Carlisle. "We were assigned a short one-chapter fic in the Harry Potter continuum."
"your" beauty sleep
Also, since all of Carlisle's dialogue here is a single sentence, that period after "Carlisle" should be a comma, and "we" should get a lowercase "w" Making the final product look like:
“While you had your beauty sleep,” said Carlisle, “we were assigned a short one-chapter fic in the Harry Potter continuum.”

“Yeah, yeah, great.” Carlisle said.
This period should also be a comma, since the dialogue is flowing into a dialogue tag.

“Ooh, disguises!” I’ll be a werewolf.”
A bonus quotation mark! eats

Lastly, a technical note (in the computery sense): your and your beta's comments are publicly visible in "Maya Sue."

—doctorlit only whishes wishes Rez was still around, to have seen the whish!

I'll say it hangs out pretty close to TOS style, although it feels like it's a bit low on what I read as explicit attempts at humor.

It worked pretty well overall, though.

Here. However, the bold doesn’t work for some reason.

—Ls