Subject: Is it okay for people 20 years or older to crush on teenage characters?
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Posted on: 2022-09-26 02:45:42 UTC
As of this writing, I'm in my 20s, and I have a preference for youthful male characters (bidanshi) – that means for a long time and likely for the rest of my life, my Lust Objects run the gamut from 16 years old to in their 20s. I'd like to know the point when it is considered creepy to still have the hots for an 18-year-old dude.
half of your age plus seven. So after the age of 22 it becomes a little... iffy to crush on an 18-year old. That's the stone-cold numbers answer, and it's not a bad ruler. In the real world, there would be a power imbalance after that that's difficult to shift.
On the other hand we're dealing with fictional characters here, not real people. No one is getting hurt, although referring to them as Lust Objects in that sense is, I dunno, bad vibes? There was definitely a point in time for me when a teenage boy character of any new IP I had an interest in went from being a potential love interest to being a favourite character, someone I enjoyed watching and thought was adorable, but at the same time certainly had the thought of "if I were younger, you would be the one I developed a crush on". These days I consider them the precious babies they are, as about as attractive to me as any child would be (which is not at all), and fight the urge to pinch their cheeks and tell them how much they've grown (so tall! so handsome!) with the exact same level of affection as I would a real world teenager.
That's just my two cents though.
/Ekwy
Strictly speaking IRL-wise here:
Let's say you're 60. The rule says the youngest person it's not creepy to be with is 37. I'm 37, and I can't say I particularly like the idea of 60-year-olds thirsting for me. ^_^; Not that I don't think some older people are attractive (though as an ace person I mean exclusively in an aesthetic/hypothetical sense), but that power balance issue still comes into play, not to mention an actual generation gap.
Maybe sticking to people within a generation of you is a better rule after the age of ~34? That's when "half plus seven" equals a ten-year age difference, and roughly ten years is what I'd consider a non-creepy, generationally compatible age difference between mature adults (cf. young adults and teenagers).
But again, that's me talking IRL-wise. When it comes to fictional characters, I agree with Ekwy. Don't talk about them like a creepy stalker or call them your husbando or whatever, and nobody will probably mind. {= )
~Neshomeh's most beloved characters as a teenager were older male mentors/role-models to make up for her alcoholic, emotionally unstable dad, and the thought of boning them still grosses her out despite being a fairly sex-positive ace.
Didn't do the math for myself. I am 35. By that rule I would be able to date a 24-year old. Which... no. Nuh-uh. Absolutely not. Tiny babies. must protecc
I agree, the formula I think exists for that sort of teenager/young adult sort of gap, and gets less and less applicable the older you get.
/Ekwy, who tends to adopt anyone under 30 that stands still long enough and has what some would call aggressive Mom Energy
As you said, it can get creepy if taken too firmly.
—Ls