Subject: Welcome a-Board!
Author:
Posted on: 2012-08-31 03:00:00 UTC
Hello there faceless newbie! You seem to have answered all the standard questions before they were asked excepting one; e.g. what are your fandoms? Anyway, since you came here by way of TvTropes my gift to you is a Nice Hat. It changes style and color at the push of a button, yet somehow manages to always remain ostentatious.
Here have a flask of the very first batch of CAFfine. Made only of the best* Cute Animal Friends.
*Read as sickeningly twee.
-Takes a sip of it-
Accountants are bad. All that math ... *shudders*
It's more of that fact that I'm just too lazy to press-shift every time I want to type an 'I'. I don't think Microsoft Words fixes 'I's at all. I think. Also, I don't use Words often. So all that ridicule is irrelevant to me.
I use citrus to keep my brain fresh, not so I can type better D: But thanks for the ... "limeon"(?) anyways.
Hi there!
I like the idea of a CAD imploding for once, but you never know quite how badly it might do so...so have a black hole containment field. Just in case.
Anyway, welcome to the PPC!
I didn't mean by a division-by-zero kind of implosion. I meant just that the CAD goes SUCK and fall apart after crumpling rather than a CAD shattering BOOM.
... this is PPC equipment we're talking about here. Also, watch out for the Ironic Overpower.
I don't think the Ironic Overpower is willing to destroy the universe for the sake of comedic narrative. Is it?
Unless it was a very small black hole - or maybe a plothole instead.
Black Holes of any sizes are VERY and I mean VERY dangerous.
But I'm fine with plot holes.
I'm passing you off this penguin. I haven't been able to get rid of it for a few weeks. It eats fish.
Oh, also, have a couple malted eggs, I've got a few of those lying around...
And I shall name it Gunther. For it is a fitting name.
And I don't think i want your malted eggs. Whatever those are.
Hi! Have some fudge!
Are you more of a Classic-Series Whovian or NuWho?
Oooh fudge.
Well, I was introduced to the series officially with NuWho. But I am quite fond of The 8th Doctor (If he's considered ClassicWho).
Glad to meet you, Isaac! Have a bag of pebbles and a Random Shiny Object.
If you want to ask any questions, feel free! We love answering questions.
Quick! What's the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?!
Welcome to the Board! Have some of my hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Add a hydrophobic goldfish to your order for only 19.99$.
Have you read the Original Series yet? If not, get to it!
I'll get to it when I can. Right now, I need to run optimizations of my brain so that it'll produce 42% more random.
Got anything citrus?
Aperture Science Hi-Yield Combustible Lemons. Will these do?
Oh no! Not those things, again! I had to endure explosive diarrhea after i ate those once. It wasn't pleasant for anyone. That includes you, even though you just met me today.
Welcome, 12! I'll call you 12. I like it.
Since you are a fellow Whovian, here, have a batch of TARDIS-shaped brass muffins. Yes, brass. You don't want to know how exactly I made brass edible. ^_^
"12", Surprisingly not my age! Also, mmm brass. I like brass, maybe i should have a bite of it. -Does so- You people seem to feed us shiny newbies with all sorts of weird stuff. Am I a science experiment of some kind?
I am quite certain we ALL are science experiments of higher or lesser degree. *chuckles* I guess we have to be lucky that nobody is sending Vogons to greet us with their poetry. Would be quite an experiment.
On the other hand, now that it's thought of, the Powers That Be will most likely make that happen. What have I done...! *shudders*
We're fresh out of vogons - their fat is being rendered for the new batch of anti-lustin. Unless it's their poetry. Either way, I'm sure that will turn out fun.
I thought it how they generally looked like. Since it wasn't specified how they would look like otherwise.
Oh well. At least if a Vogon does appear out of no where to talk about poetry, At least my CPU would explode spectacularly before the poetry even starts. I hope you have a medical bay for almost humans.
Welcome to the board! Have this slice of cake. I spiked it with cold iron, silver, holy water, Goa'uld symbiote toxin, and pretty much every other thing that is lethal to nonhumans only. I mean, you are human. Right?
Actually, I'm just a sufficiently advance robot that looks like a human. I wonder if the cake would kill me .... -takes a bite and hopes for the worse- You guys have a medical bay for the almost human, right?
It doesn't kill robots. That's version 2.0.
Hello! Have a graduated cylinder!
(and don't worry, the presents will slowly meander in as the Board gets checked and stuff.)
Welcome to the PPC, Isaac! As a welcoming gift, I give you a magic cookie and a tube of multi-colored glitter. Have fun.
These things wouldn't happen to be made of Sue blood ... would they?
The magic cookie is made of EVERYTHING - and nothing at all. It is a magical cookie.
The glitter...ehm...
I'm not going to confirm or deny that suspicion, but just know that the answer may rhyme with 'mess'.
So .... you're saying that the cookie's made of the internet?
Also, I'm just going to go ahead and believe that this glitter is made of Sue/Stu blood.
Got any lemons that I can use to fuel me?
EVERYTHING. And nothing.
Good, because the answer might have been gruesome. Or not. :D
Lemons? Uhm...-crashing noises- Nope, sorry, no lemons. Care for some rock candy?
But I run on lemons! D:
I require a regular intake of lemon juice or anything citrus-y to function! Without lemons or anything citrus, I'll slowly "die" off and maybe explode for no good reason.
What about lemon drops?
I didn't really thought of that. What with being a recently constructed sufficiently advance humanoid and all.
I guess citrus fruit candy works too.
-and throws lemon drops at you-
Ow oof hey quit it! -Shields what i could of myself as i get attacked with a barrage of mildly annoying lemon drops, catching a few with my mouth to refuel on citrus energy- Oh yeah? -throws tuna at you as retaliation-
...What kind of tuna?
The processed ones from cans. Unless you wanted the whole thing.
Also how are you slanting those words? I have no idea how things work at all.
Aww...I was hoping it'd be ahi tuna. You know, the sushi kind.
Mmm, sushi.
-throws another lemon drop-
<b>Bold.</b>
<i>Italic.</i>
<u>Underlined.</u>
Just... please, use the preview button if you use HTML. Misused tags mess up the rest of the page.
Hello there faceless newbie! You seem to have answered all the standard questions before they were asked excepting one; e.g. what are your fandoms? Anyway, since you came here by way of TvTropes my gift to you is a Nice Hat. It changes style and color at the push of a button, yet somehow manages to always remain ostentatious.
Am I in TF2?
Never mind, a good hat is always a hat. Does it comes with storage for lemons?
Greetings, oblivious new friend! Help yourself to the bag of venomous arthropods! Don't worry; they won't bite!
So, tell us a bit about your fan interests! What fandoms do you follow? What kinds of fics (or other stories) do you like to read and write?
You ate my little toxic friends!? D:
Not to worry! We'll make a writer out of you yet! Hm . . . there's a filk of a Mulan song in there . . .
Also, being that this is a writing community, we are rather strict about our writing quality, even here on the Board. You had some missing apostrophes and failed capitalizations of "I" up there! Be sure to reread what you write before you hit that Post button.
Well I tend to ignore those because I dont really seem all that keen on keeping consistent on those tiny details. But OK, I'll be sure to keep pressing shift every time.
And darn those apostrophes! Cheeky little buggers.
I think I need the toilet now ... those toxic squids aren't doing too good for my gut. I also need to mark that stall for decontamination after I've used it.
Forgot to plave my name there. Sorry bout that.