I love Ocotillo! The idea of a big, strong dragon being stuck with brain weasels, and having to squeeze herself into HQ, both literally and figuratively, is very amusing. I especially loved the conversation between her and Charlie; they’re both so meek, and so unfamiliar with human customs, it was adorably awkward to read.

Dang, you did an excellent job of converting that gif into a description. Y’gatha’s general attitude and movement, and the way she kept shrugging off a lot of the injuries, were also great, and really communicated the cosmic-horror nature of the thing. The fighting between her and Ocotillo was great, too. The fact that this little humanoid can fight on even terms with a massive dragon again gets across how otherworldly and physics-bending a Suvian can be, as does the massive dragon initially needing to run away and look for help. The power of both parties’ attacks comes across right in the words; despite being crammed into HQ hallways, every impact felt, well, impactful!

—doctorlit obliterates your entire fun story with his comment of many keyboard strokes

As someone who knows nothing about any of the canons involved, you did a good job of providing what information I needed. I guess to Matterhorn the fight between a flashy fairy thing and a giant stompy dragon looked one-sided enough that he didn't feel a need to get involved.

It's nice to see the DIA doing their job (though in this case it means the Weeds /didn't/ do theirs, or else the troll wouldn't have gotten inside). Also interesting to see another feline person around; Bast and Milask both show up in the Multiverse Monitor just above, it's all very catlike. If you count the cat-shaped cats as well as the humanoid ones, we have... a lot of cats in HQ. ^_^

We also should (but don't) have a support group for "your corridors are too small" agents. There's a giraffe-sized pterosaur over in DAS, not to mention a steam engine who's stuck on a single loop of track. I'm sure we have many others too.

hS

Awesome dragon vs troll fight scene; it was easy to follow and imagine. Seeing Headquarters-based stories are rare, so reading about DIA's Patrol was quite nice; I also found the whole betting thing to be quite funny, probably because of how much it speaks about the attitude of typical PPC agents. I'm definitely looking forward to more of your Patrol stories.

Some minor mistakes I found: - Ocotillo refers to scavengers as "humans" once. - Sandwing should be capitalized as SandWing. - Ocotillo is a SandWing, so she should have black eyes, not green. (Sunny has green eyes, but that's because she's a hybrid; all other SandWings in canon have black eyes.)

You did a really good job of writing the fight scenes and of giving me a good sense of Ocotillo's perspective. The annoying voice in your head is understandable (and relatable). I also quite liked the general gloss of non-humanity you've got going in the narration - it really drives home how Ocotillo is a dragon who isn't remotely human-shaped (or from a remotely modern place). Then again, I particularly like stories with alien points or view.

Overall, you've done a good job with the intro and I'm looking forward to reading more about her DIA exploits.

• Tomash