Subject: re: dare to read mission
Posted on: 2023-05-04 14:35:54 UTC
The dialogue between Phil and Spensor is the absolute highlight of this mission! Spensor’s lighthearted tone and outdated slang make him an absolute joy to read, and Phil’s practicality and more muted tone make him a perfect straight man to coast along through the job in spite of Spensor’s shenanigans. (Although I also liked the ending, where Phil walked out after Spensor’s practical joke had gone too far. It’s good to show Phil won’t just roll over and let Spensor get away with mean-spirited shenanigans!) I also very much empathize with Phil being very dedicated to his mission performance, while not quite having the energy to tidy up and do chores at home. >_>
Some other details I enjoyed:
-That title, wow, never expected to see a Swiss Family Robinson reference in a Transformers mission!
-The fact that a vending machine transformer launches soda cans as projectile weapons! Is it a special soda, to cause such instantaneous rusting, or was that just dramatic license?
-The implication that, at least sometimes, FicPsych needs to use forklifts or other heavy machinery to transport some of the more “advanced” patients!
-“Dare to Be Stupid” getting a cameo—very appropriate!
Assorted errors I spotted:
Now everything they had worked for would be all for not.
The phrase is “all for naught.” (Naught is an old timey word for zero, or nothing.)
Spensor asked as Megatron finally relented his daughter's request to date Starscream.
Just in time to as the Sue and Starscream were sharing their first kiss.
“too” (and I think a comma after too, too?)
And on a more general note, when dialogue is followed by a dialogue tag, the period at the end of the dialogue turns into a comma instead:
“This is wrong.” he said.
“This is right,” he said.
(Doesn’t apply to question marks or exclamations. “This is right!” he said.)
Also, it looks like Spensor’s name got auto-corrected into “Spencer” in a couple spots early on. Auto-correct thinks it’s helping!
—doctorlit dares to be stupid every day; he has no choice