Subject: But if humanity were annihilated from the planet...
Author:
Posted on: 2013-06-23 19:19:00 UTC
...there would be no one left to ridicule you for said obesity and sugar highs. And once you've devoted your entire life to supreme conquest, you've already decided that optimal health conditions aren't your top priority.
Hello, peoples. :) I recently discovered the PPC via a link given to me on DeviantArt. Given that my fandoms (Star Wars and Super Mario Bros.) have produced far too many badfics for my liking, I decided, "Hey, why not come here?"
So, yeah. As (more or less) mentioned above, I'm a huge Star Wars and Mario nerd, and I do know a little bit about Harry Potter and Lord Of The Rings, though I'm mostly unfamiliar with them. I also happen to be very anti-slash...but, don't worry, I won't bite anyone who likes it. ;)
That being said...do you guys have any cake?
Ah Star Wars, lets see what I can give you. How about a replica of Qui-Gon's robe. It's a bit like a backwards snuggie in my opinon, nice and warm.
I don't have cake sadly, but I'm sure someone will give you some!
We don't bite! Really. I'm an HP nerd, so we don't really share a fandom. (Secretly, I fell asleep during Star Wars. In my defense, I was up for school that day, it was really late and I had a show choir competition that required me to get up at four the next morning. I also fell asleep during Jaws, but I really don't have an excuse for that).
Here! How about some double bleepolate cake! It's delicious and homemade,
Since it seems no one asked yet, did you read the Original Series and the PPC Consititution?
Hm...a Star Wars fan, eh? I have just the gift for you!
*rummages through bag of holding*
Here, have a Dark Black Darth Vader helmet. Guaranteed to make you look more menacing than the Dark Lord himself--as long as you wear the rest of the costume, of course. Otherwise, you might end up making everyone laugh at the horribly clashing colors.
Still about halfway through the Original Series, though.
Hello, hello, greetings!
Here, have an Infinite Notebook, lined, with urple covers and wilver binding. Don't blind yourself!
-Aila
Welcome to the PPC!
I'm Len. :D
Sadly, we don't share any fandoms- unless you count Lord of the Rings, which it was unclear from your post whether you do or not- but I'm not quite so uncultured that I wouldn't know to give you this Jell-O sculpture of Darth Vader's lightsaber. And, of course, a thick slice of guava u
*shot* I know, stupid question. But, honestly, I've never heard of it. I don't think we have it over here...
It's a generic gelatin dessert that comes in little plastic packages, and it is frequently debated whether it counts as a liquid, solid, gas, plasma, or perhaps a new form of matter entirely. Brightly colored. Not very tasty. The most jiggly substance in the universe.
It's not a stupid question, just a unique one. :D
Is the day the Tesseract smashed through my window.
I should probably give it back at some point.
...you could take advantage of this wonderful opportunity for world domination. After all, there are no coincidences. One could argue that by causing such an artifact to crash through your window, the karmic laws of the universe *meant* for you to take over existence. Destiny, my friend, destiny!
No, I don't know where this post came from either. @.@
-- Len
World domination is so cliche.
I'll just give myself a bunch of ice cream instead.
...what do the villains plan to do after the realm is theirs? After all, their plans frequently involve razing the civilized world to the ground, so it's not like they can raid the Ben & Jerry's and frollick around in Authorized Personel Only areas. There's not much entertainment to be found in an endless wasteland.
*dragged out back and beaten relentlessly for bad reference*
'S why I don't go for world domination/destruction. It almost always lacks any preemptive structure in the event of success, and is built almost entirely around a case of serious butthurt for one reason or another.
(Unless you're Lucian Fairfax, in which case your magical world destroying item is then recalibrated to rebuild the world as you want it to be.)
Ice cream fo dayz is thought entirety through, and has only a few downsides! (brain freeze, diabetes, obesity, sugar highs...)
...there would be no one left to ridicule you for said obesity and sugar highs. And once you've devoted your entire life to supreme conquest, you've already decided that optimal health conditions aren't your top priority.
And besides, I just said that I would give myself ice cream, not dominate/destroyify the world for it.
On a side,-but-related note, somebody should throw these villains the damn Villain Handbook, I swear.
With all those capital letters, it sounds legit.
I might have to find said Handbook. Could be useful...
Google it.
Giggles everywhere.
And you will see exactly what I mean when I say that there are some villains who could benefit from it.
guava upside-down cake.
Once again, welcome!
-- Len
Welcome to our humble board. I would give you cake, as you have been promised, but as you know, the cake is a li-*bang*
Here, have a Fire Flower. Just, try not to burn down your neighborhood.
Also, in the event that the place does end up burning down, will standing outside the burning building and singing, "We Didn't Start The Fire" be of any help? :3
Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-famous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. Keep away from old adults young children.
*carefully inspects it* Can I feed this to my pet dog?
Do it. For science.
Ooh, and make sure to take notes! Remember: the difference between screwing around and science is writing it down...
Ack! It just transformed into a mini-Sue!
How many canine characteristics does it retain? What color is it? Does it leave a trail when it moves? Can it fly? We must record the science for posterity! Perhaps it's a genetic anomaly, or the Narrative Law of ODTAA has decided it's time to shake up your particular status quo! We'll never know unless you record the data!
(tosses over a 3-D holo-camera)
There! If you take pictures of it before it escapes, at least we can study the holograms!
Hmm, if hydrophobic water can turn regular animals into Suvian creatures, what would it do to a glitchy mini?
(looks slyly over at Missingo)
Do not even conceive of it, hyuuuuuman.
Would you rather I see if my Null Void projector still works? I'm sure you'd feel right at home in a broken, gravity-deprived wasteworld.
Actually, that does sound rather pleasant.
Drat, then I'll need to find a better way to... wait, your speech patterns are changing.
I have no idea what you are talking about.
There! You did it again!
Perhaps I, the embodiment of error, have myself committed an error. What a quandary.
You're delusional, Missingo.
Only delusional? I disappoint myself.
Welcome to the Board, by the way. The madness is perfectly normal.
Well, hello there. Welcome to the PPC!
I think I have missed a few newbie introductions because of my life being full of stuff and having no time to post. So, I'll make a big batch of newbie cake for everyone! Please share it, though. Sometimes the greedy ones eat it up too fast...
Hi, have some fudge!
Greetings, new friend!
Have an ysalamir!
Shame on me for not knowing... ;-_-
I only know because they've figured in the PPC's history:
http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/Ysalamiri
However, I will present to you a virtual brioche. Eaten mostly by hungry French peasents as they tried to be brothers, equals, and free people of France.
It's OK if you're not aligned with HP or LotR. Just stay on watch of Star Wars badfics, and report them if you see one. Take your time here before doing missions though, try to know a lot more about the community.
*sniffs it* Hm...
We have quite a lot of badfics around, it seems. And Mary Sues. And Sue/Canon pairings. Especially where Obi-Wan Kenobi is concerned (yikes, no wonder the poor guy's been nicknamed 'The Legolas of Star Wars'). Not to mention that the authors of the badfics tend to be either terrifying, or just plain idiotic. Mostly the latter, though.