Subject: I made an attempt at doing so
Author:
Posted on: 2024-03-20 23:08:30 UTC
It still needs a lot of work and there’s still stuff to be added. Linstar, you’re an admin on the fandom and probably know how the updated versions work better then I do, go wild. Anyone else who wants to may also go wild.
It's been 3 years since I checked.
To start: I will not shout "Make my monster grow!" before shrinking a Mini-Kaiju, that is begging for the opposite to happen.
I will not threaten to put sues in Traptainium, Kaos traps are as hard to come by as they are expensive.
-Same with Light and Dark traps
I will stop throwing fake master balls at agents who are Pokemon, FicPsych will start making me pay for the treatment.
It's here. Turns out we've got quite a lot already; keep 'em coming!
Neat! Did we ever get to transcribing this one on the Wiki, by the way? Anyway, here's a couple late-night additions:
I will not attempt to undermine Suvians via powerscaling
I will not allow brave/foolhardy Suvians to destroy absolutely horrifying canons that may or may not have damaged the world our World One is a shadow of. (At least not without permission).
On that note, I will not allow Suvians to destroy a canon simply because some don't personally like it. Yes, that includes Narnia. And Eragon. And even the Eye of Argon, yes.
I will not challenge shapeshifting agents to see how wild they can go before laws of physics are broken or their bodies collapse.
ESAS agents will not pull out Sun Crushers any chance they get, even if a regenerating Suvian is slightly more inconvenient than normal.
I will not say 'this belongs in a museum' as an excuse to get away with theft. It annoys the actual museum-owners around here, too.
Just because an agent is suspiciously tough is not an excuse to kidnap them and see what it might take to kill them. Seriously, DAS-SWEAR, get John out of there. It's been months, and his partner is barely scraping by.
I will not awaken Azathoth
It still needs a lot of work and there’s still stuff to be added. Linstar, you’re an admin on the fandom and probably know how the updated versions work better then I do, go wild. Anyone else who wants to may also go wild.
And I have a few more points to add:
I will not treat Agent Kaguya to any matcha-flavored food and drink unless it is straight green tea powder in warm water.
I will not gift him a "geisha" or a "samurai" Halloween costume.
When he introduces his name, I will not say "Like that one from Kaguya-sama: Love Is War?"
I will not tell Agent Inasuke that he's too old to be watching the shows he's into.
I will not make jokes about the numbering of the next part (XXX).
And sure, I'll see if there's any expansion needed. {=)
--Ls
I will not sneak into an unpublished canon and take a vacation
-Unless I really really want another pay-cut
-Even if I’m willing to risk the paycut, the answer is still no
-Agent Zara, we do know you’ve been hiding out in your friend’s unpublished continuum because of the cute fluffy characters
I’m not allowed to feed my partner, the Flowers, or canon characters I don’t like to Fred the urple tentacle monster
-He only eats eggs anyway
-And Sues gave him food poisoning last time
I am not Gargaroth the Destroyer and I will not introduce myself that way
I am not allowed to use “cartoon physics” as an excuse for breaking the laws of physics
I will not eat fae apples if I am human or any species other then a faery “just to see what happens”
-I will not make anyone eat a fae apple unknowingly
-I most definitely will not give them to the Cafeteria staff to make apple pies with
I will not send Agent Fáelán a copy of Disney's Sleeping Beauty.
In fact, I will not send any Twisted Wonderland characters or agents copies of Disney animated canon movies.
I will not tell Agent Momoka about My Horse Prince (warning: zoophilia)
I will not tell Agent Helena, the fairy one, about AI-generated art.
-I will not hang trans pride flags in the Hogwarts Great Hall, no matter how funny it may be.
-I will not hang mistletoe in the Cafeteria doorway.
-I will not send out chain emails containing real curses.
I've been meaning to resurrect this for a while, thank you!
I will not attempt to get the Coriander and the Cilantro to meet. It will not go well.
I will not steal a TARDIS and use it to take over the past version of the PPC. It will not work.
I will not whack agents with books, claiming that I'm exorcising them. This is a very bad idea.
--Ls