We’re just starting straight out with some plotting, aren’t we? Nothing good is going to come of Draco grabbing a sample of Draught of Living Death, especially since he hasn’t been tasked with assassinating Dumbledore in this timeline. Heck, I don’t know what he’s been doing in the Room of Hidden Things, either, unless he really was hatching some Shakespearean scheme to get himself out of the Bonding Contract with Rabastan, like Slughorn brought up? And either way, there it is: Severina definitely gave Harry her old potions text, along with notes in the margins. I just hope the Sectumsempra spell isn’t there in this timeline, or that Harry doesn’t run into it, or never gets put in a position to try it. After all, in canon, he wound up testing it on Draco, but this Harry and Draco are putting each other in rather different positions. I’ll show myself out.

I love seeing that Hermione is so supportive of Dobby, and I especially like the body language she uses towards him, kneeling down to speak to him closer to eye level. It shows in physical space that she doesn’t consider house elves beneath her, just a really sweet gesture. Sweet like fruit pie. Sweet like the fruit pie that plowed into Anita Bryant’s face. But I got really scared when Harry sent Dobby to investigate the mail situation, because I was still assuming Bellatrix was responsible, and I don’t want that meeting to go like it did in canon. You definitely caught me off guard here, because I did not remotely suspect Kreacher to be involved with the situation at all! And honestly, the fact that he did so, not as part of a plot, but actually to work against Gaunt and Bellatrix, and protect Draco, is a level of benevolence I didn’t expect to see in Kreacher. I love that you wrote it like that; it’s really sweet! Sweet like fruit pie. Sweet like the fruit pie that plowed into Anita Bryant’s face.

You’ve said before that Luna’s dialogue often foreshadows things, so I guess someone’s trying to sabotage Gryffindor this year? Or maybe specifically the Gryffindor Quidditch team? (I thought this was related to McLaggen getting hexed, but one of your reader’s comments on AO3 informed me that that happened in canon and I just forgot . . .)

Oh no, Astoria . . . I remember disliking her so much, back in year two, but this many years/chapters later . . . She really is just a pathetic, hurt little girl, isn’t she? Astoria getting rescued by Harry and starting to fall in love with him? Honestly, it’s like the plot of . . . well, of a bad fanfiction! I want her to find a way out of the abusive culture she’s so steeped in, but I guess I also want her to Bond with someone with strong enough magic to cancel out her curse. It’s a weird catch-22. (I would also still like it if she manages to follow up on that whole “Gaunt’s head on a platter” thing, too, that would be sweet. Sweet like fruit pie. Sweet like the fruit pie that plowed into Anita Bryant’s face.)

I appreciate seeing Dumbledore apologize to Hermione. Hermione made bad choices last year, but the buck ultimately has to stop at the desks of the adults who were around her at the time, and I’m glad at least Dumbledore recognizes that, and said so. Hermione deserved that apology. I also appreciate that he’s including the entire trio in the “Gaunt studies,” instead of singling out Harry as the Special Boy. It just feels more appropriate against this heavily political version of Gaunt, with his far-reaching cultural support. Lastly, I loved the conversation about “the world we want to see,” and the students’ answers to that prompt. It takes people working together, and pushing their society forward, to enact change, and Dumbledore is working to assemble the right people to do the pushing. And I also liked Harry’s observation later on, about the adults in his society shrinking away from positive changes, purely because they want to cling to the familiar. The cage is a perfect metaphor, because it doesn’t have a lock on it: we can reach through and open the door any time. But it takes getting enough people to become brave enough to risk the reach, to want to step outside. But right now, too many people have been convinced that they’re safer inside the cage . . . Uh, in your story! Definitely not musing on the state of the world or anything, ha ha!

Man, the tone of that scene set in the Pensieve is just the worst of vibes. I know this will sound like a wild tangent, but Gaunt Sr. made me think of Sauron, in the way the latter became so focused on reclaiming the Ring that he was reduced to a spirit that couldn’t operate without it, purely because he stopped viewing his own power outside the framework of the Ring. And there’s Gaunt Sr., with a house he could be taking care of with magic, and a daughter he could be showing love, and a son he could be modeling into a kind, mature adult . . . But in his mind, the only things that are lacking in his life are money and magical power. He just needs to trick a rich pureblood woman into marrying into the family, and everything will be fixed again. And he can’t see anything else to matter. It’s sad for Merope to have grown up in a family like that, but I’m glad she hasn’t lost kindness because of it: she still stayed with Madam Yue to protect her while she was injured, still wanted to protect a stranger from her own family.

So, is that the Maiden’s Kiss right there? It’s over, we reached the title event for the year, roll credits? Or does some fancy magical ceremony have to happen? I’m no expert on magic or romance, but I think I read, at bare minimum, numerous Maiden’s Kisses, one Maiden’s Holding Their Partner’s Hands Suspended Above Their Head, an uncountable amount of Maiden’s Dry Humping . . . I should probably stop this joke now.

Anyway, it’s a shame I don’t consider fruit pie edible, because this feels like a good week to celebrate with fruit pie. Celebrate Anita Bryant’s death that is, since this is Anita Bryant Death Week, now and forever. Actually, maybe I’ll find myself some cheesecake and celebrate with that? I have it on pretty good authority that cheesecake counts as a type of pie.

—it’s doctorlit; doctorlit is the authority who says cheesecakes are pies