Subject: re: interlude
Author:
Posted on: 2025-08-03 19:21:18 UTC

Ah, this was a fun one! I like all the little details you added to expand on working in the kitchens, like the maze structure and sleeping in the pantries. (I’ve been sitting on the first draft of a kitchen interlude for like 10+ years. If I ever get around to touching it up more, I’ll have to incorporate some of your world-building elements! I know some of the “structural elements” need a major overhaul, anyway.) A Delivery Division feels so natural, it’s shocking it’s only appearing this late in the PPC’s history! And the hidden punchline that a pepperoni pizza was ordered, but a mushroom-only was delivered, is . . . I was going to say “very PPC” but I guess that’s more of a “real pizza orders” thing, isn’t it?

I also like how you incorporated the ability Steadfast into Riley’s personality in a non-combat way, and how his personality contrasts against the typical portrayal of Lucarios. Poor kid!

Your presentation of Pakura is actually really fun to read, though I’m not sure that’s how you wanted me to feel about her . . . she’s undeniably a monster of a person, but her unabashed embracement of such obvious villain tropes make her kind of fun to picture in my head; she’s evil and threatening, but in such an over-the-top way it comes of as almost dorky. It also makes her an interesting counterpoint to Tess, with Tess looking a lot less human on the outside, but ultimately having a much more person-like personality than Pakura, despite Tess’s flat affect. And, of course, the fact that Tess is happy to take on a support role in the PPC and not draw attention to herself, flying in the face of what factory Suvians are produced for, while Pakura is . . . Pakura.

So yeah! A very fun read to open my weekend with. Thank you! You also taught me a couple new words, sort of. I had heard the term “jarhead” applied to soldiers before, but never realized it was a reference to the hairstyle! And now I know that “chef’s hats” have the more proper name of “toque.”

A few errors spotted:
The door had a strange hold cut into it, shaped like a moon.
I suspect you wanted hole here?

Tess glanced back through the window, wincing as Pakura .
This sentence never ended!

“Did not miss this for a second, let me tell you that much.
Matterhorn never closed his quotation marks here!

—doctorlit takes his pizzas with cheesas only, pleasas

Reply Return to messages