When you put up chapter three, I felt inspired and rambled about it a bit. Seems like I foresaw how it would play out.

I just binged through all the new chapters, and wow, you should rename it to Fifty Shades of Wrong. Seriously, if this wasn't written from Ana's perspective and played totally straight, it would work as some kind of psychological thriller.

Also, ligaments: I'm currently sitting out my second ligament injury. The first was at the ankle. I was basically announcing myself by giving off a variation of "ow" at every second step. The splint helped, though. Dang, I can't even remember which ankle it was any more.

The second, more recent one's at my right knee. I'm not sure if it's permanent, since, if it's been overstretched, it most likely won't shrink down again, but it got better to a certain degree. I was able to walk home (very carefully), but I did take some wrong steps and ended up on my rear end once. I wrapped my knee up, which helped a lot. Again, I could walk, I just had problems with sharp corners. While I still feel it, I can walk around normally and run. Let's see what the MRI says.

Bottom line: Nobody had to nurse me back to health. In both cases I was able to walk back home (down a mountain/up a hill, respectively). In both cases I was almost free of pain as soon as the injuries had been taken care of. Hell, for the second one (which was worse, in my opinion), I went to work. Two days after it happened.

He should have broken his leg or something. That would have been a reason for mom to stay at home.

How about 50 Shades of Grey as read by Gilbert Gottfried?

It doesn't get better than this, folks!

~Mys

About the book: I've seen worse. The worst I've seen would be Corruption of Champions.

I found the fanfic 50 Shades is based on a few weeks back. Anyone who wants to give reading it a crack can: http://www.wattpad.com/1114636-master-of-the-universe-by-snowqueensicedragon

I will warn you that it's exactly as stupid, plot-wise, as the book, only the formatting is ever worse, and there aren't many quotation marks.

Also? Universal has apparently picked up 50 Shades for a movie deal. I can't really wrap my head around how they're going to get less than an NC-17 rating, and keep a runtime longer than 30 minutes.

I believe my age means I am legally encouraged to avoid this book like it's got a particularly virulent and infectious disease. Nonetheless, I am as intrigued by it as I am intrigued by police sirens and mangled heaps of metal in the center of intersections. Will you be going into 18+ detail on the sex scenes, or will your sporking be 'merely' NSFW?

(Enclosure talons included to acknowledge NSFW as no mere thing, and to note that this book is almost definitely NSFB as well. Need some Bleeprin?)

John Green of Nerdfighters fame did complain about this, but not the novel itself. He claims that Amazon.com business plan of cutting out the editor hurts novels' quality. He thinks that bookwriters need editors, and the traditional business model of writer-editor-writer-editor-publisher chain works really well for 500 years. The Miracle of Swinden Town commentary, check it out. Don't remember the number though.

That sounds... horrible. Thank the Goddess I don't have to read it myself.
...
Although the slightly masochistic side of me suddenly wants to read it. But I won't.

Eitehr way, good luck to you for sporking this... thing. *throws you some bleeprin*

I found an article about it in our local newspaper. It was praised for being so taboo and edgy because it dared to talk about BDSM. Oh, and it called Ana an educated woman. Does that show in the book? Like, in any way?

The "critique" (and by that I mean "plot summary plus praise for talking about BDSM in detail") awarded it 4 of 6 stars, while also calling it the Twilight saga for grown-ups.

Oh, and the main article called it soft porn for women. They do realize that they're saying that they're glorifying porn, right? Right?

I tried reading my mother's copy after my attempts at convincing her to burn it failed and it burned my eyes. I hadn't even gotten to the really bad sections (a.k.a. the rest of the book). The luck of whatever deity you worship be with you.

I really commend you for this. I tried reading my mother's copy and got about a page in before I had to stop due to an overabundance of whining by a supposedly mature character. Good luck on your quest.

This sounds like some monstrously bad writing, here. It reads like the author got so focused on moving the characters to the eventual endpoint that they overlooked all the little details leading up there. And also the way real, living people behave and think and talk.

Thank you for reading that so the rest of us don't have to.

...Ughhhh. Worse than it SOUNDS means it's pretty suckitudinous.

THIS right here is... an act of bravery, akin to the sporking of C*l*br**n. I salute you.