Have a shoebox of random items. At least one of them is guaranteed to be useful... probably.

Have some Swiss Chocolate and some Bleepka. They'll come in handy pretty soon.

Have some cookies. They contain Schrodinger's chips, so they may or may not have chocolate in them.

So, what're your fandoms? LoTR? Discworld? Video games, cartoons, film?

No maiming for honeymoon period of three seconds, ja!

*waits for the smiters to come smite*

Have a wizard hat, magic not included. So, what are your fandoms?

Welcome to the Board fellow newbie. Have a Tounge of Many Tounges. It's a plastic tounge that speaks most languges mostly fluently. That may help your clear up your fangirl Japanese. Also, what are your fandoms?

Welcome to the Board! Here, have some chocolate, won't you?

Hi, have some fudge!

It's nice to meet you~ I don't want to ramble too much, so I'll just hand you this box of infinity and leave.

Warning! Box of infinity can be hazardous to health. Do not open while operating heavy machinery. HimochiIsAwesome is in no way responsible for any eels that come out of said box of infinity.

Have a cookie. Contains distilled Essence of History.
Warning: Essence of History causes uncontrollable searching for obscure historical facts. Like how Napoleon planned his battles in a sandbox.

Welcome, new person! Mind the craziness that often happens, and look out for bad fanfics!

Here, have some John Adams for the road: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R1oOUJRpJW0

Greetings, new friend! Here, help yourself to the bag of venomous arthropods. Don't worry; they don't bite!

Hello there! Welcome to the PPC! Please leave a part of your sanity at the door.

Welcome to the Board! Have some of my world-infamous hydrophobic water to commemorate the event. The Board's favourite* drink**!











*As voted by one person.

** Do not drink. Keep the hydrophobic water away from heat, cold, light, dark, reality, and anti-reality at all times.

Or should I say, Konbanwa. *shot by every Boarder in reach*

Have a plushie Edward Elric.

Welcome and hello!

Because I'm terrible at coming up with gifts, I instead dispense advice: If you haven't already, you should check out our wiki. Especially the guides and FAQs. They'll give you a pretty good idea what we're about. Better than TvTropes, at least, which seems to be where most of the new people are coming from. Also, mocking is (in my case, at least) good-natured, and directly proportional to the amount of Otakuese used in my presence.

Now that that's out of the way, what're some of your fandoms? (And, if you're comfortable with answering it, what're your preferred pronouns?)

Ooh, chocolate!

Okay. Question: What does the "K" rating on the claimed/unclaimed badfic lists on the wiki mean? I'm English, so I don't know much about American ratings. I'm assuming it means something like "Kiddie".

Here, have some e-chocolate, and a cup of tea. Just watch out for the leaves, they might try to eat you :P