I liked this, even if I don't know anything about Soul Eater. Your agents are entertaining and I like them a lot.
That grammar was indeed horrible.

A good first entry! I liked that you gave the two agents a bit of history together, which contrasts with most new agent pairs being complete strangers to each other. I also like your mini design! They're a great blend of "cute and funny" and "unstable and dangerous."

A few grammar things. A bit after introducing the first mini, you have, "The redhead shuddered sat down all the way . . ." which should have an "and" in it.

A bit after that, the parenthetical (also known as the dummy) is ending in an emoticon, which I'm guessing is formating wonkiness with Webs.

Also, neuralyzer is spelled, uh, neuralyzer, rather than neuralizer.

Those are all things that would have been caught by a beta (presumably). Remember, you don't need to have a particular person as an official beta; most of us use multiple betas across all of our missions. Most people here are willing to look writing over if you ask! I'll also point you here: http://ppc.wikia.com/wiki/PPCBetaReader_Directory

I'm not that familiar with Soul Eater myself, but I did enjoy reading your mission. I thought that the byplay between your agents was really well done, and they clearly had a bit of history between them.

I did spot a couple of what could be typos, or could just be the difference between UK English / American English etc., but nothing major (like I said, I'm not actually sure that they *are* mistakes).

One thing that did occur to me however, was the possible incorrect use of the neuralyzer; at the end of the mission, Lisa tells the canons 'Now look at the pretty light, everyone...' and *then* uses the neuralyzer on them, leaving them 'dazed'. My understanding is that you give the false memory when they are in the dazed state, when they are actually suggestible enough to believe it. Also, if you give them the memory first and then flashy thing them, you're going to erase the false memory as well as the actual events that took place. Sorry to be pedantic, but I do have a tendency to... obsess a little, when it comes to tech.

Overall I thought it was very good though, and I hope I can put as interesting character interactions between the agents for my first mission as you managed in this.

You did well with your first mission. You've begun to develop the ongoing relationship between your agents, which seems violent, but hey, that's not uncommon for the PPC.

There were a couple of spelling and grammatical errors here and there. Nothing major, but there's the whole throwing stones around glass houses principles here, unfortunately. You don't need an outright beta, just a second person to look over it. You are your own worst critic after all!

The thing I would like to point out that may need improving is a focus on the story itself. While you did show in the first mission of your two agents their interactions, there wasn't a lot of the story being looked at. Some more direct quotes, maybe, or having the agents summarise what's about to happen next are two ways you could do it. You just need to explain why you're PPCing this fic, and not another one.

But, as I said before, you've started on character development and had fun along the way. At the very least, you avoided making an Agent Mini, which I managed to do on my first mission. Otherwise, congratulations on the successful completion of your first mission!