The Subject line is one of my favorite, because it sums the whole thing up. Pretty much the entire thing is a great quote, though. Especially on the Youtube videos. It's even funnier because I have a friend whose name is John Freeman. :P

Here is a couple good ones that aren't as famous.

"The next boss died and John Freeman was happy. He walked over to the dead bosses and put them under the ground and planted pants on them so instead of messy dirt and dark there was pretty things there now to be happy."


Henry Freeman who was living in the city and with his mom said "mom why are Combines here" and she said "Henry Freeman Combines are from science and outter space and hate humens."



And this could never be complete without the very famous:

John Freeman got quiet then dropped wepon and said "I have to kill fast and bullets too slow" and started killing Combines with bear hands.

Regarding Legolas and "Aragon":

"They started fighting. There. But Suddenly they both flew. Along the ground with force. Then Sary came and said. I love. You both that’s why I stopped your fight. They all had passionaty sex all night..."

*wanders off to hide under something away from the brainpain...*

Well this comes to mind:
"ALSO, I DID LOOK AT HIS EYES AND THEY WERE CLEARLY AMBER WHEN I LOOKED AT THEM SO ... YOU YOU OTHER COWARD!"

This was an author's response to some reviewers. What makes this even sweeter is that it's in the very first Bad Fic I ever found. It's not very funny exactly, but I burst up laughing when I found it.

legolas by laura; "because she got a power and she can distoy us all the bad guys".

Lisa Is Pregnant: "You awake. Bart is d'oh."

A Sad Story: "His uncle then pulled out a shotgun, with a silencer on it ..."

Celebrian: "She tipped her head back so it could slide down her throat." (Ow. Literal grammatical interpretations are disturbing.)

And the less-well-known but funny Hetalia fanfic "One night of the drop of rain": "TRANSLATION ERROR said the England in the surprised."

I know it's a cliche, but..."WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!" from my immortal. Mainly because I always get a chuckle from imagining Dumbledore shouting that at the top of his lungs.

I was curious to see what sort of badfic could be found in the Aliens/Predators continuum, a couple of lines that had me giggling are;

'She fell down on her ass and looked up and seen a clear silhouette of one of the creatures. Robin franticly started to scoot back on her behind away from the invisible creature, but she saw as the silhouette bent torts her and grabbed the color of her black sweater'
Yup, the Predator referenced here was sooooooooooo badass that it could steal colours! I'm guessing that would leave Robin's sweater the same colour gray as generic surface.


'It was accustomed for the Royal hosts' of the ceremony to give a speech; one that would fill the people with a greater and lifted morale. As the honorable guests dispersed from the marble canvas, the King motioned for the blazing auroras to be displaced with a brighter such color: flushed, yellow flames. The room was lit with an illuminating atmosphere,'
The idea of 'marble canvas' is a bit of an odd one; I wouldn't have thought that rock would make for a great canvas. And I'm glad that the room was 'lit with an illuminating atmosphere', if it had been lit with a non-illuminating atmosphere everything would have been so much harder to see.

This fic was actually not a troll, and it produced gems such as:

- "May I be informed of a name that beholds you, young one?" The old man asked him kindly. (Insert Beholder joke here.)

- "You were very fond of Bilbo were you not?" Gluin asked with a sly smile. Frodo sighed with happiness. (Unintentional slashy overtones, yay!)

- "You are quite attached to the youngling, father," Arwen noted in amusement. Elrond smiled at his daughter and to Aragorn who sat beside her.

   "He is a child of love." (Hippie!Elrond!)

- A hord was being blown. (Worst. Typo. Ever.)

And my personal favorite,

- "Very relieved am I to know you are very much undead mellon-nin."

"Ring Child," everybody. G'night!

~Neshomeh

I haven't even read the books it's (allegedly) based on, but "Starkit's Prophecy" is another one of those ones where every word is misspelled and the dialogue is pure bathos. My favorite:

'"lol" lalueghed TigerStar, "I dont care Im evillll!"'

Admittedly, I mostly just love it 'cause I picture him with this big cheery grin a la Awesome Face.

(Oh, and the Big No the author misspelled into a Big Moo. That was also wonderful.)

Is it ITS MY LIFE! or sarah in aperture?

My favorite will probably always be "and Lupin was masticating to it!" (or however she spells it) from MI. Because I picture Lupin munching on some tasty jerky. XD Or "pointing his womb."

NO WAIT.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. "I hath telekinesis."

That one. Because of someone's comic. His face was most silly.

I'd have to say that my favorite badfic quote would have to be this little gem from "legolas by laura":
"how can people put baby in the woodsand to die"

I laugh every time I think of that line.

"'ready s4t go!' kakakakahi yelled den ran off hiz man boobs jiggling."

"Bugger your Darkmeal, faggart of a thousand suns."

Dumblecop sniffed.

"And what of it? Is it a sin, should a man feel like faggarting a sun or a thousand? Why should the suns heave through the void, if not to be skewer't bypon ourn fagpoles."

It's that last phrase, "skewer't bypon ourn fagpoles," that always gets me. It's almost a normal conversation, and then suddenly, the trollthor starts trying way too hard.

"Adette can't bear children." I admitted quietly, offering a sad smile to the Hobbits. They looked deeply saddened by what I had told them. "She was…raped by an orc during our first year of marriage. He destroyed her womb."

HE DESTROYED HER WOMB!

And it's even worse in context because the author means exactly what we think it means.

I will always have a soft spot for "The pants were dead!"

Also pretty much half of the dialogue in My Immortal, such as "Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!" Seriously, I can't get through the Funny/MyImmortal page on TV Tropes late at night because I'm always afraid I'll wake up my roommates.