Subject: Nice one! *spoilers*
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Posted on: 2012-04-01 23:13:00 UTC

The way you handled the actions of the grill had me laughing several times while reading, and I never thought I'd consider the Buster Sword from FFVII to be relatively reasonably sized!

I also thought the Department of Finance was an inspired choice for Stan to go to. I have thought about having one of my agents (if/when I actually get around to requesting permission) having a bit of a feud with Finance over his expenses or something. The idea of an agent storming up there, ready to kick some ass over 'those damn forms' and then seeing a Predator sat behind the desk... yeah, I've got to do something with that.

There was just one bit where the wording seemed kind of clunky; 'Somehow, the sentient grill was not deterred by the fact that its blade had suddenly grown to a length of approximately three miles and three quarters of another one while also getting much thicker so that the blade did not instantly snap from its own length .' - I think it would read smoother if the length was described as 'approximately three and three quarter miles'. The rest of it read well, but I just sort of stumbled over that one sentence.

Having said that, I thought the mission was brilliant, and while I haven't read any of the other missions featuring Xanatus, Anneli and Cinderlla, I will certainly be doing so in the near future. And only partly out of morbid curiosity over what they could possibly have done to get assigned 3 trollfics in a row.

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